Meet me under the cherry tree
by Nick.Tsuki
Summary: Sasuke finds Naruto dressed as a girl in a park and for a reason, can't take the boy (or girl?) off his mind.Bit by Bit, these two boys learn about each other, their fears, dreams and secrets .A story about accepting who you are without fear , about facing our own prejudices. A story about finding love at its purest form. SasuNaru, mentioned NaruSaku, Yaoi, Cross-dressing, Au, Yaoi
1. A boy and a girl?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico © (aka author of the most amazing yaoi manga - if you don't know sensei's works, I highly recommend)**

Chapter 1 – A boy and a... girl?

Sasuke's point of view

It's by pure convenience I am in the other side of the town, where I wasn't supposed to know anyone except for my brother, Itachi, whom I have just visit in his new apartment. But here I am, in a small park, looking at one of my classmates, Uzumaki Naruto.

If I were in other circumstances, I wouldn't have spared a glance at him, but due to few details, I can't take my eyes off him. It's not every day you see one of your classmates dressed as a girl on the other side of town. But it's definitely him.

No matter how much the make-up makes him look delicate and even disguises the three scars like whiskers on each cheek he has, I can still see the fade lines on them. No matter how much the clothes make him look slender and thinner, I can see clearly his slightly broad shoulders, the flat chest and the bony hips. It only makes me wonder if I'm the only one to notice he's actually a boy.

He's alone, waiting, but I've been here for thirty minutes and no one has come to greet him, no, he only stares around, sometimes he looks nervous and sometimes he spaces out. I can only wonder why he is using a long blonde wig, tied in two ponytails, one at each side of his head. Maybe it was a punishment game, probably from one of the pranks he uses to play. Yes, that's it, the only plausible reason for Naruto to be dressed as a girl is a punishment of some sort. The only problem is that I don't see any other classmate who could have done it to him.

Suddenly he stands up from the bench and leaves, with my eyes following all his movements, the swing of his hips, the rise of the skirt he's wearing, and I can almost hear the clack of the heels on his a little too big feet. I stay still, watching him leave the place without anyone notice his swapped gender. On the contrary, men would look at 'her' with lust, desire or simply admiration. No one noticed that the blonde 'shy' girl was actually a hyperactive boy. No one but me.

My feet drag me back home but my mind is still wrapped on Naruto. I can't shake the feeling it wasn't just a game for him, a punishment or whatever the rational part of my brain can provide as a plausible explanation. To say the truth, I am curious to know more. Will he be there tomorrow? Maybe on the next week? My mind wanders through the infinity possibilities making me lose focus on what I should be doing.

"Sasuke, are you fine?" my mother asks with a concerned face due to the fact I was staring at my plate of food for what felt like twenty minutes.

"I'm fine, mother." I start to eat, observing the food was still heated, so it hadn't been twenty minutes, probably five.

"Did you and your brother have a fight?" she asks me based on my behavior. It's true that when we fight I act the same, but I'm not feeling the same. If I had argued with Itachi, I would be mad. I'm not mad, I'm intrigued.

"No, we didn't."

She smiles in relief. "Good, I worried when you didn't come home the time you told me." My face feels heated but I suppose it's due to the food. "Oh my, Itachi should be so busy now that he moved, you didn't bother him too much, did you? I still think it would be better for you to go visit him on the weekend."

I roll my eyes at my mother's worries. "No, mother I didn't bother him and as I told you before I can't go on the weekend because I have to study for a test on Monday."

My mother sighs softly "You told me…" then frowns lightly "But you still could have waited to see your brother. It would make you both good, Itachi needs time to arrange his new apartment and you need time to study, little man."

Before I can defend myself, my father decides to do it in my place. "Let them be, Mikoto. It's good for brothers to have their own time together. And Sasuke is doing well at school."

I feel a prideful sensation in my chest – aka my ego growing – to the rare compliment from my father and even my mother's expression softens to a gentle smile. "That's true, we're proud of you sweetie."

I smile back "Hn."

The rest of the day is very normal. My mother complains that I should clean my bedroom; my father says I should obey her when she tells him to interfere, and I ignore both of them in order to listen to music peacefully and do my homework.

At night, I lie in my bed, thoughts of my day swirling in my last moments of consciousness.

'_I should have talked to Naruto in the park.'_

**~(Line Breaker)~**

I sit down at my chair in the back of the classroom as usual. Like every day, I ignore people around me with the only goal to pay attention at class.

People annoy me to no end, that's one of the reasons I have few friends, none in this class, the other reasons consist in my lack of ability of talking to people and my lack of interest on doing so.

While the girls tend to act like stupid beings with their intimate touches, what I definitely don't appreciate, the boys tend to hate me for no reason, calling me a bastard or a nerd, not that I care.

I have no intention of making friends at school. My focus is entirely on studies. I don't hate studying and I want to make my parents and my brother proud of me. I want them to compliment me and say I'm a good son and brother.

Nothing is more important to me than my family. I want to make them happy and proud, so my main goal is being the best I can no matter what the others say. Call me a bastard, a nerd or whatever they want to, they are not important.

Opposite to my words, my eyes keep going to the blond boy two seats in my right diagonal, Naruto. He's late as usual, but the teachers don't even bother with him, letting him enter the class and not saying anything to change his lateness. I wonder if he doesn't feel ashamed of himself, being late, being the dead-last of the classroom. I know I couldn't stand it, but he doesn't seem to care.

Lunch time comes and I find myself still observing the carefree idiot, talking happily with his friends. I had never really paid attention to him, but after yesterday, I can't help it. I'm curious, and I want to know more, I _need_ to know more.

I listen to their conversation in hope to hear them talking about yesterday, about being a prank, whatever, but nothing. No one comments about it and I have the feeling they don't have any idea.

I watch when he smiles at the pink haired girl besides him. They hold hands and kiss each other in the cheek, so I suppose she's his girlfriend. I wonder if she knows about him dressing as a girl. He's definitely prettier than her but that's not the point. I wonder if they were her clothes, but why would she want her boyfriend to dress as a girl? And why wouldn't she be near him then?

That much I want to know and I will find out.

With these thoughts, I keep staring and analyzing his conduct for the rest of the week, trying to decipher him. He seems normal to me, I mean, he's indeed an idiot always joking and playing pranks on his friends, being loud, pouting like a five year old child when someone says or does something he doesn't like, but still normal.

He's the catcher* of the school's baseball team and I suppose he's good, but he sucks at pitching, what's very curious and makes me wonder if it's some sort of unconscious act. I mean, he wears girl's clothes and is a good catcher, so even if he does have a girlfriend, I can only conclude that he's gay. But that's as far as I can go as an outsider and I know that I'll have to go back to that park in the first opportunity I have to find out more.

Apparently, I fail at being discreet on my observations since he suddenly approaches me in my chair "Uchiha!" The blonde speaks loudly, what annoys me, so I only arch an eyebrow. "What's your problem?" he demands in my face.

"I have no problem." You're the one cross-dressing for God knows why.

"Oh really?!" he crosses his arms over his chest with an annoyed expression to which I can only blink in confusion. "Sasuke, are you gay?"

I almost choke on air to the question. WHAT?! You wear make-up, a skirt and a wig and _I am_ _gay? _My frown deepens. "No!"

"Then stop it! Everyone is talking about you ogling me, man! It's freaking me out. You can't do that to…" He waves his hands around like a crazy man, and I can't help but compare to the shyness _she_ showed in the park. Was it possible for someone to act so differently?

I shrug off so he can stop screaming at my face about my creepy behavior. Is he serious? Because yes, he looks very serious about it. Maybe, and only maybe, I was mistaken. No, definitely not. Or maybe he has a sister who looks like him. Yes, that's a possibility I hadn't thought of, yet.

"Naruto…" I interrupt his babbling seriously. "…do you have a sister?"

He first blinks in confusion to my sudden question, and by mysterious universal forces, his voice is civilized when he answers me suspicious. "Huh? No, I'm an only son, why?"

"Hm. I see." Then it was really him. I should probably just ask him, but how can you ask a guy if he was dressed as a girl in the other day? I'm positive he would deny it, with reason or not. Besides, it's not even my business.

"Bastard, are you listening? I asked why!" Again with that loud voice that gives me a headache.

I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. "No reason, just curious, moron."

He glares at me before he turns around. "Whatever… just stop staring at me all the time, weirdo." And leaves.

*A little word playing here with catcher meaning the baseball position and also the passive role in a homosexual relationship (aka the uke). I don't mean to say every catcher is gay or anything like that. It was just a small joke.


	2. I know your little secret

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico © **

Chapter 2 – I know your little secret.

Sasuke's point of view

It's been two weeks since I last came to the park and only now I could come back here to see her again. With the pretext of helping Itachi fix his car, I came to the same park on the other side of town just to see her again. After two weeks observing Naruto, I can't be mistaken, if it's really him I'll know and I'll talk to him this time. About what, I still don't know, but I will.

I wait for a whole hour and nothing.

This bothers me extremely, so I conclude that it was really a one-time thing, that I'll never see _her_ again. A small hope tells me I just wasn't lucky _today_ and that maybe she will come tomorrow or the day after, but I don't fool myself with these silly thoughts.

A sigh escapes my lips. It was already foolish of me to come here in the first place; I really have no reason to be here.

So what if she caught my attention? What if I find her the prettiest and cutest girl I have ever seen? What if sometimes I dream of her? And... what if she is really Naruto? I hate him.

I definitely, conclusively, entirely hate him.

I hate how he's loud, how he's dumb, how he messes with everyone and no one does a thing about it. I hate it when he flashes that stupid exaggerated grin at his friends when he wants to change the subject, or pretend he didn't understand. I hate him for denying his homosexuality, _it's so obvious_. I hate him for having a girlfriend. I hate him for being the only girl I could ever have feelings for. I hate him for simply taking _her_ away from me. I hate him.

In my last glance at the park, when I'm leaving, I see her.

My heart beats faster and I can't believe how pretty she really is, prettier than I remembered.

This time her hair is down, only with a pin on the side, she's wearing a skirt with long white socks and boots, along with a long sleeved orange shirt. My mouth is open and my eyes can only follow her. So pretty, so delicate, so different from the idiot.

I want to talk to her.

But I can't move. I can only watch her from afar like I'm used to do with _him_.

I'm nervous, butterflies are moving in my stomach, my hands are sweating and my mouth is dry. God, I'm feeling so pathetic, like a middle school girl with her first crush. Wait, crush? I can't have a crush on Naruto, no matter how pretty _she_ is. I know she's still a guy, a moron, a… who are those people talking to her?

My eyes narrow when three older guys, that I never saw before, approaches her. I soon shake the feeling she knows them when she fidgets with her sleeves, looking uncomfortable. I want to know what they are telling her but I'm too far. The solution is to get near them without anyone to notice me, what's pretty easy considering they're near a lot of trees.

As I approach them, I listen to the conversation attentively.

"I see you still refuse to talk to us, cutie." Says the first guy in blue t-shirt.

Naruto only shakes his head and blushes a little, probably fearing being found out.

"Oh come on, pretty, we just want to know your name." says the second guy in yellow, who attempts to touch her face but is soon slapped away. It serves him right.

She looks desperate and I don't think I can take any longer of only watching it.

"Well, if you want to be like that, we'll only have to force you, huh. Can't let such a cute girl go wasted." Says the third guys in black, slowly leaning forward.

Naruto gasps in shock and I panic, unsure of what to do, but not thinking about it.

Yes, I'm not thinking when I walk closer to them just before any of them can touch her. "Hey babe, sorry I'm late." I say out loud, hugging her and whispering on her ear. "Just play along."

I turn around facing the other three guys with an annoyed expression. "Is there a problem here?"

They look at each other and the guy in black tee narrows his eyes at me. "Who are you?" he demands.

"That's not your business." I spat back, hugging _her_ closer to me. Even with the heels on her boots, she's shorter than me and, God, she feels so fragile in my arms.

"Bastard, of course it's my damn business. We were talking to the girl, so who the hell are you?" the guy glares at me but I glare back, harder. If he thinks he can win against me in a glare contest, he's extremely wrong.

"Isn't it obvious, idiot? I'm her boyfriend!" I have no idea why I say this, but it's too late now and it sounded really good on my mind. Not counting it makes me look cool saving the girl from the bad guys. God I need to stop watching soap opera with my mother.

"That's bullshit! You only want her to yourself but we saw her first, scum." The other two guys nod as their, I'll assume, leader tries to reach for Naruto.

I hug her even closer, keeping her out of his reach, protecting her. She hugs me back burying her face in my chest so I can't see it. "Fuck off!"

I frown and try to act if I were in a real situation, and not lying as I was being accused of, what was hard because I have no idea how a boyfriend should act in real life. I opt to follow the soap opera's role.

I roll my eyes exaggeratedly when they don't move. "That's stupid. Say babe, say to these morons you are my girlfriend so we can leave."

I can't see her face but I feel her nodding her head. It makes me feel warm inside and I almost smile, almost.

Still, when the two other guys are already backing away, the 'leader' grits his teeth. "I don't believe it!" he laughs evilly and I can only think this guy is totally out of it. "I. Don't. Believe. It!"

An idea crosses my mind and I smirk. "So you want more proof?" and before he can answer, I pull the blonde's head up by her chin. "Then I'll give you proof." Before Naruto can react I seal my lips to hers.

Oh my God, she feels so good.

I watch through half lidded eyes her shocked blue ones until they give in and close. Her lips are soft and taste like strawberry, probably from her lipstick. I don't mind it. It's good, so good I can't stop. From far in my mind, I can hear the guy grunt and cuss, leaving with heavy angry footsteps, but he doesn't matter anymore. I can't stop the kiss. I can't stop, but I don't know what more to do because… it's my first kiss… and it was with…

We break apart, looking at each other in shock. I can't believe I just… I just kissed her. My face feels heated. No, wrong, I just kissed _him,_ Naruto, the moron I hate. I can't, I…

"Sorry." I hear myself whisper.

Naruto turns around, red until the ears, shakes his head frantically, and for the first time _she_ actually talks to me. Differently from the moron of the school, she doesn't speak loud, just above a whisper; it was deeper than a girl's voice should be, but softer than his own normal voice. "No, no… you don't understand… you shouldn't… you couldn't… you don't know who…"

"Who you are?" I touch her shoulder, leaning forward to whisper in her right ear. "Or _what _you are?" I feel him freeze. "But what _you_ don't know…" I hesitantly wrap my arms around her waist. "…is that I _do_ know who you are… Na-ru-to."

He trembles in my arms, quickly pushing himself from of me. Those blue eyes look fearful, yet fiercely at me. "What do you want?" his voice is low, deep, dangerous and so fragile.

"Why are you doing this?" I demand to know with a blank face.

He blushes "I-I… it was… a da-dare!" he stutters.

"Oh really? The other week too?" I arch an eyebrow.

I see clearly as the blood leaves all his face, making him pale, sickly pale. He's almost crying by now. "I… it's not your business!" he tries to run, but I grab him by the arm.

"Well, sorry to say it, but now that I know your little secret-"

"Are you threatening me, bastard?" his eyes are watery and his voice is raspy.

"Wait, no! I just…" I don't know anymore.

"You said you weren't gay." He whines.

"I'm not!" Really, I am not. How could I be? And then. "You're the one gay here, moron."

"What?!" he frowns. "I'm not gay!"

My face shows the incredulity of his words.

"Don't look me that way, bastard. It's true, I have a girlfriend." He doesn't scream, but he is also not whispering anymore. He's not _her_ anymore despite the looks.

"Oh." It's all I can say, a weird ache in my chest. "But I…" I know I'm about to do something cruel, yet I… "And does she know about it?"

He freezes again.

"I see." My voice is cruel, but I can't help it. "I wonder how she would react if someone were to tell her."

"You wouldn't…" he whispers.

I force myself to smirk "Yes, I would."

"What would you gain from that, bastard?" his lips tremble. "I… I don't have anything, I swear! I'm poor and dumb, a total failure, what would you want from me?" He cries quietly, or is it her?

I feel horrible, a monster. I look down. "I just want to know you." I say low, but he hears me.

My gaze lifts the same time as his or hers, I'm confused. Our eyes meet. It doesn't matter.

Naruto shakes his head slowly, tears falling from his eyes. I reach a finger to wipe it out. "Please?"

Again, he shakes his head, afraid.

Slowly I watch him _and_ her leave me and I can't move. I look up the sky and see cherry blossoms falling around me. Such irony.*

*The cherry blossoms represent the fragility of life and are associated to the samurai's saying: 'Live the present without fear'. So you can get the irony of it.


	3. I can't do it any longer

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

Chapter 3 – I can't do it any longer.

Naruto's point of view

My vision is blurry, my mind is spinning and my ears are thumping. I run and run and run and run until I can't hear the whispers or see the looks directed at me. I run from the park, from him, why did he have to appear? Why did he have to be there? Why?

I run to the station desperately, dismissing all the people asking me if I was fine. The train takes too long, too long. Finally my station arrives and once more I feel a rush of adrenaline through my body and I run, the boots don't bother me, I run as fast as I can until I reach my empty house. I stumble on the stairs to my bedroom, desperate to be there, where I'm safe.

I slam the door with force, uncaringly. My mother is never at home, so it's not like I'll bother anyone. I toss my boots under my bed, run to the bathroom and stare at my reflection on the mirror. I can't believe it's really me.

My face is flushed from the running, my eyes are red and the eye liner is blurred because of my tears. I'm sweating, my hair is disheveled, my clothes are crumpled, oh God, I'm such a mess. I toss the wig aside, along with my clothes and get in the shower, washing the make-up. I relax under the warm water, breathing deeply, but my mind goes back to earlier, to the park, to Sasuke, to myself, to what I've been doing…

Tears mix with the water. I hate to cry. I hate to cry so much. I hate to be weak. I hate it!

I can't believe it's happening again, please, not again. I told myself I would stop the last time, that it would be the _last _time. Why? Why do I keep doing it? Why can't I stop wearing make-up, skirts and heels? Why can't I stop going to the park almost two hours from my house like that? Why?

My father is right. I'm weak, a sissy, a monster. It's my fault for him to leave us, my fault for being such a _freak_. I can't…

I gather the girly, frilly clothes I was wearing and put them in the washing machine. I have enough time to wash, dry and iron it before my mother arrives home. I should use the time to throw all my hidden boxes away. I should use the excuse of Sasuke finding out about it to stop it for good.

Now that I'm calm, I can think straight, and I'm not afraid of him. He threatened me and I freaked out, but now that I really think about it, there's nothing he can do against me, not without any proof. If he tells anyone, it'll be the nerd boy who's always ogling me against my word. My friends won't believe him; I'll tell them he must be plotting something against me, and only this will be enough. I can't lose my friends. I can't let anyone leave me because of it. Not again.

The washing machine works while I make myself something to eat. Nothing too hard to make or that takes too long, I'm not very hungry anyway. I'm never very hungry when I eat alone. Ah, I remember when we were a happy family, before I ruined it all. I remember mom and dad making dinner and chatting, while I waited for the delicious food. I remember when dad used to take me out to play baseball. Even when he said being the catcher was boring, I had fun.

Now I go to every game on my own. My father left us and my mother doesn't have time because of the work. I can't blame her. When dad left, mom had to stand strong for both of us. I can't be selfish to ask her to stop. I already ruined her life for being like this.

Thinking about it, I ruined my parents' marriage since I was born.

Once, I heard my father saying my mother should have aborted me. They fought. I should be around 8 back then, so I didn't understand why my father suddenly hated me so much. When I was 9, they got a divorce. It was the last time I saw him.

I can still hear his harsh words echoing in my head, saying it was my fault, saying I wasn't his son, because his son wasn't a failure like I was, like I am, a monster. My mother cried and held me for too long that night, saying it wasn't my fault, that I was normal, but I knew better.

You know when you are born a freak. You can try to hide it, but it's still stronger than you. You learn young when you don't like what the other kids like, what you were supposed to like. You know when you're different, even when you don't want to be, when you just want to be accepted.

Now I can look at the past and see how different I was, how a monster I was and keep being. I can understand now why some kids wouldn't play with me, why they would tell me their parents had prohibited them because I was different. I didn't understand, and neither did they. After all, I shouldn't be older than 6.

But back in time a little further, I can remember a Christmas when I was three, the very first of my consciousness. I got mad when Santa brought me a ball, I cried saying it wasn't what I had asked for Christmas. I cried and blamed my mother for telling Santa the wrong thing, because I didn't want a ball, no, I had asked for a doll instead.

On the next day, mom brought to my bedroom the doll I wanted, telling me she had gone to talk to Santa in person to get the right present. I was never happier in my life. I loved that doll with all my heart. Until New Year, my father had 'convinced' me to throw the doll away because the ball was cooler. I cried for the whole night regretting my decision.

On the following years, I didn't cry when Santa got me the wrong present, nor when the right present 'magically' disappeared during the night. Dad played more with me when I chose the little cars and trains, he was happy and so was I to spend time with him.

But it didn't mean I stopped being different. I liked everything I shouldn't, from dolls to ponies and fairies. Mom didn't mind it, but dad hated it, saying only bad boys liked that. They argued over it, but it was nothing compared to what started to happen later.

If I remember correctly, it was about that time my father started to distance himself from me, always grumpy, telling how wrong everything I liked was, how I shouldn't be that way. My mother, being the kind person she is, permitted me to play with the "forbidden toys" when dad went to work, but that didn't last long since he soon found out, throwing it all away despite my cries.

They started to fight almost every day.

One particular fight is stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

I was eight, and on this specific day, my mother had gone to the market while I stayed at home with my father. Dad watched TV on the living room, leaving me upstairs to do as I pleased, he didn't care.

I remember that was the first time I did something like that, but I wanted to try.

Silently, I went to my parents' bedroom, opened my mother's wardrobe, where I knew she left all her make-up, and took one of her prettiest dresses and heels. I loved how I felt higher on the heels, how I felt pretty on the dress and I loved all the colors I could use to paint my face.

I carefully applied mother's make-up on my small face, not the amount some girls of my class used to apply to go to school, looking like a clown, and then I opened mom's music box. I couldn't wear earrings, but I put all the other jewels, all the rings, all the collars and all bracelets. Everything was so big on me… but when I looked at the mirror of my parents' bedroom, I gasped. I looked so pretty, my eyes took in the colors on my face and the shining of the jewels in awe. I was happy.

It was when the lights went on and, through the mirror, I saw my dad on the door. He looked furious and I knew I had done something wrong, something very, very wrong.

I froze in place when he walked to me, his eyes showed so much rage. He pulled me by the arm, ripping the jewels and the dress from my body. I screamed when some broke, what only increased my dad's fury. He grabbed me by my shoulder with force, it hurt.

"You. Will. Learn. To. Be. A. Man!" he screamed in my face and the next thing I knew was that my cheek was burning and tears were spilling from my eyes.

My father had never slapped me before that.

He told me things I can't remember no matter how hard I try. I cried harder at each slap, pleading, but they didn't stop. They only stopped when my mother arrived, worried, asking what was going on. The shock on her face only lasted a second before she started screaming at my father, demanding to know why he was hitting me.

"Stay away from this, Kushina!" he said, pulling me to their bathroom with force.

My mother followed us and watched as my father grabbed me by my hair and threw my face inside the sink. "Minato!" he opened the water on my face almost choking me. "MINATO STOP!" He didn't. Instead, he used a small towel to harshly rub the make-up out of my skin. "MINATO, STOP IT NOW!"

He did, for a moment, throwing me to the wall. "I SAID TO STAY AWAY, KUSHINA! YOU ALREADY RUINED OUR SON TOO MUCH!"

I sobbed and breathed in as much air as I could. Before I could tell, I found myself pinned on the wall, my father's hands on my neck. "I TRIED TO NOT INTERFERE! BUT THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!" he screamed at my face, furious. "YOU WILL LEARN TO BE A MAN, WANT IT OR NOT!"

I don't know what happened next, the next memory I have of that night is of my mother pushing me out of her room and locking the door. I stood in front of that door, unable to move, face, throat and eyes burning, listening to more screaming.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING?!" My mother pleaded desperate.

"SHUT UP, KUSHINA! NARUTO WAS WRONG!"

"What had he done, MY GOD?! YOU WERE HITTING HIM, MINATO! HITTING YOUR SON!"

"HE'S _NOT _MY SON! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM, HE WENT TOO FAR! WEARING_ MAKE-UP AND A FUCKING DRESS!"_ Dad spat the words with disgust.

"MY GOD MINATO, HE'S ONLY EIGHT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

They quieted down for a moment and I couldn't understand what they were saying, but they were still arguing. Soon the screams came back, louder.

"NO, I WON'T! I WON'T ACEEPT IT! HE IS NOT MY SON, KUSHINA!"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! LOOK AT HIM, HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, MINATO?!"

"NO! NO! _MY _SON IS NOT… IS NOT… _THAT."_

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH NARUTO!"

"EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH THAT BOY! HE'S NOT MY SON, CAN'T BE! MY SON _IS NOT_ A _FAG_!"

I didn't know what the word meant, but I knew it was something bad. When I learned about it, it was already too late. The rest of the fight is a blur to me, I remember my father took his car and didn't come back home for two days, mother cried the whole time.

After the divorce, my mother began to work. She spent less and less time with me and more and more time at the office. Sometimes she went in my bedroom at night, thinking I was sleeping, and told me how much she loved me, how much she was sorry for everything, and pleaded for me to understand.

When I entered Middle School, I understood enough to know how I should act as a boy. I was loud, played pranks on other boys, flirted with the girls, entered the school's baseball team, did everything I was supposed to do. I made more friends and for a moment I was almost happy, internally thinking that, if I acted like that, dad would come back.

Dad didn't come back. Mom worked nonstop. I was always lonely.

In High School things barely changed. I got a girlfriend, my grades started to fall, my pranks got worse, the teachers went crazy with me, but any of it was enough to make my mother pay more attention to me. My father disappeared from the world, never more giving a sign he was, at least, alive.

Even so, I had managed to suppress all my childhood desires. I acted as the perfect boy from my 10 to my 14 years old.

That, until a friend decided to payback for all the pranks I had played on him. He made me dress girl's clothes for the first time in so many years, calling me a pussy if I didn't do it. At first he laughed and I could only blush, but when he looked at me again, he had a glint on his eyes that made me know I was screwed.

Somehow, he convinced me to go outside dressed like that. The worst part was when he met with friends of his I didn't know, introducing me as his _girlfriend_. I wanted to die. But when no one seemed to notice I was a boy, I calmed down a bit, they complimented me, congratulating the boy for his _cute_ girlfriend.

When we got back to his house, I punched him as much as I could, the harder I could. He apologized and agreed on never more do something like that.

Six months after that incident, I find myself in the same situation, only that I'm alone and much farther than any of my friends and colleagues live, or so had I thought.

I sigh, tired from the day, physically and mentally. I gather all my hidden boxes with the intention of stopping it all. Now that Sasuke knows, I can't continue with this stupidity. He'll be my alibi to end it for good. I can't do it any longer.

On the next day, I break up with Sakura.

**AN: Haters gonna hate!**

**Sorry for making Minato the bad guy here, I feel kind of bad for it, I love the guy, but it's for the sake of the story, so pleas bear with it. **

**PS- Reviews? No? Ah, okay : (**


	4. Stop stalking me!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshiko © **

Chapter 4 – Stop stalking me!

Naruto's point of view

"I'm really sorry about it. I'm going through a difficult time of my life and I need to be alone. I don't want to be a burden for you, so we can't continue, sorry."

It hurts me to see the shocked expression on Sakura's face, but I can't keep misleading her like this. It's better to end it now when I still can, when I know we're not too deep in a relationship, one I shouldn't have even started if I were honest.

"But… why? Have I... have I been bad for you? Did I do something for you?" she fights the tears threatening to fall from her green eyes.

"You were perfect, Sakura." I feel my throat constrict. "You _are_ perfect. I couldn't have a better girlfriend."

"Then why? Why, Naruto?" the tears finally fall and I almost go back on my words, but I can't and it's for the better.

"I'm really sorry. It's not you, it's-"

"Cut the crap, Naruto!" the tears are freely falling on her face, affecting her voice. "Don't you dare give me the 'it's not you, it's me' crap! Don't you dare!"

I don't know what to say to make things better. Nothing I say would make things better. "I'm really sorry, Sakura. It's really hard for me but I honestly hope us to be friends."

"Friends?!" she sounds desperate. "How can we be friends, Naruto?! I love you! I love you so much." she confesses between sobs.

"I'm really, really sorry."

An awkward silence falls on us. Sakura cries softly and I know I can't reach and wipe her tears away, no matter how much I want to, so I restrain myself and wait until her crying subsides gradually until it stops.

"Please Naruto, please, don't do it to me, to _us._" Her voice is so small.

"It's for the better…" I whisper back, not daring to look at her eyes. "Understand it, please."

She sighs in defeat and slowly nods her head. Her green eyes meet my blue ones, her pink soft lips tremble and she takes a deep breath before she talks again, hesitate, afraid, and so low. "Have you ever loved me?"

I contemplate the question for longer than her heart would like to stand, but at least I'm able to answer her honestly. "Yes, I have… I still do." But not the way you deserve, not the way I'd like to love you.

She nods again in comprehension. "I hope you don't regret this decision." Are her final words to me.

"I hope so too." I whisper more to myself watching her leave. I know she won't cry in public, because she's strong. I know she won't badmouth me out of anger, because that's the kind of girl she is. And I can only hope she finds someone worth her, because I do really love her.

Just not the right way of loving a girl.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

At lunchtime, I can hear the whispers, the gossip and the wonders of how and why we had broken up. Who was bad, and who was good, because someone _has_ to take the blame, no matter if both were wrong or right, _one_ always takes the whole blame for the end of a relationship.

And apparently that's me. If the stares and whispers didn't hurt so much I'd laugh at the lack of creativity and absurdity of the rumors. One says I cheated on her with an international model, other that I already had a girlfriend at other town. And the best of it, we broke up because she found out I have a son in other city. Is cheating the only reason to break up with someone? Does it mean you can do anything to your lover provided that you don't cheat on them? Is that it?

I sigh and look at the sky, it's so blue. It's so peaceful in here, far from the looks, from the whispers, from everyone else, from everything else. I love the roof, it had been ages I didn't come here, didn't _have_ to come here, but the place is the same: deserted, peaceful, and geez, insufferably hot. Fine, so I don't really love this place, there must be reason no one comes here, but it's still better than the rumors.

"Naruto."

I startle to someone calling me. I was supposed to be alone. I turn to this person I can't recognize by the voice and freeze.

"Sasuke?"

He smirks arrogantly. "Don't need to be scared, I won't bite you."

"What do you want?" Seriously?! Does this guy have to suddenly appear every time I want to be alone? Every time I'm trying to hide from the world? What does he want?

He sits beside me, not too close and not too far, a contemplative look on his features. I wait for him to say something, but nothing, what annoys me and makes me nervous. Maybe he's here to mock me, humiliate me, call me a… no, no, no. Calm down Naruto, calm down.

"I want to say…" He mumbles too quickly, avoiding his eyes.

"What?!" He wants to say what?! I frown in concentration.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he turns to me with determination. "I want to say that I am sorry." He repeats calmly, a bit forced, but I think he's honest. Wait.

"What?!" Did he just?

He grunts "You heard me already."

I can only blink and watch in amazement the annoyed look on his face, tinted by the pink cheeks of embarrassment. He looks… cute.

"Say something moron!" he demands angrily.

"What do you want me to say, bastard?"

"Isn't it obvious? You say you forgive me and then we're good." He says exasperated.

Is this guy serious? How can someone demand forgiveness? And what is he sorry for anyway? "Why?" I ask dumbly.

"Because that's the polite and right thing to do." He lectures me, making me feel like a 4 years old child.

"No, not this!" I roll my eyes. "Why are you sorry? Listen, bastard, if this is about Sakura…"

"Yeah, your girlfriend, about that, look, I'm sorry. I was… I was wrong alright. I shouldn't have judged you, sexuality has nothing to do with your behavior or clothes, so I'm sorry that because I saw you in girl's clothes I assumed you were, you know, gay. And I knew you have a girlfriend so… eh, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. You are straight, I got it now. You have a girlfriend and a very interesting habit of wearing girl's clothes, nothing wrong about it." He looks pained, but I don't know why.

I look dumbfounded at him. I had no idea this guy could talk this much in one breath, his face is pinkish and he fidgets nervously with his dark bangs. I always thought Sasuke was one to never care about a thing in the world, so to see him like this makes my chest warm, it's ridiculously cute. Yet, what also makes me dumbfounded, warm and a bit relief is that he isn't disgusted with me, no. He… he said there wasn't nothing wrong with it. I… never heard it before.

I shake my head. No, I'm being foolish.

But wait.

"So you haven't heard the rumors?" I ask incredulous. How can it be? It's been the only thing being said the whole morning around school.

"What rumors?" he arches an eyebrow in question, but then his eyes widen. "Because if it's something about yesterday, I swear I didn't tell anyone!"

"Not about that…" My face heats up, oh great, now _I_ feel embarrassed. "Just, geez, you're hopeless. About me and Sakura." I mumble hugging my legs closer to my chest.

"I don't care about rumors. If I want to know something about someone, I ask them, if they don't want to talk, it's not my business." He explains with a straight face.

"Oh…" I swallow, deciding to go straight to the point. "Sakura and I broke up this morning." I say just loud enough he can hear. I don't know why I tell him, but it feels the right thing to do.

He nods slowly. "Hn, I see." He bites down a smile. Why is he happy? This guy is… weird. "Then it's decided." He informs me more brightened than he had been this whole time. "We're going out later."

I frown. What?! "Listen, bastard, I don't know if you're delusional or what, but just because you saw me like _that_ and we're talking now doesn't mean we're friends or anything!"

He glares at me, and I have to confess it's a bit scary. "I didn't ask you to be friends, moron. I'm _telling_ you we're going out later, you want it or not."

"WHAT?!" I stand up and so does he.

"You heard me, idiot. We're going out, so meet me at the north station at three o'clock." He doesn't ask me, he intimates me, and then leaves, LEAVES! "And don't be late!" he glares a last time at me, making me chill.

God, what's wrong with this guy? First he threatens me, then he's sorry and now he intimates me?! As if I'm going out with that weirdo.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

Sasuke doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Actually, today is very depressing as it seems my friends are unease to talk to me, I can understand it, but it doesn't change how much it sucks. My day continues as every other day, only that I have to take the northwest route to get home so I don't meet with that Uchiha bastard.

I feel a shiver in my spine and a bad sensation all the way home, but don't really care, must be my imagination. Opening the door to my empty dark house, I sigh and direct myself to my bedroom, not really hungry.

I don't expect a guest to be lying on my bed, much less this guest to be the raven boy I'm avoiding at all costs. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

He sits up and glares with venom at me, but also with pain. "I _knew _you would try to escape from me, moron." Oh guilt trip, nah, not really.

"What are you doing in my bedroom? And how did you get in here? How do you- How do you even know where I live?"

"I followed you." He says simply. "And you let your window open, so it wasn't hard with the tree beside it."

"Sasuke…" I growl lowly, clenching my fists. "…you stalked me and broke into my house. That's a fucking crime so if you don't want me to denounce you, LEAVE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"I'm not leaving." He protests.

"I'm not kidding, Sasuke. Go." I say seriously. I just want to be alone.

"Naruto, you ran away from me three times already. I _won't_ let you run a forth… _please._" He's dead serious, what pisses me off further.

"I'm serious, bastard. Leave my house or I'm calling the police."

He cautiously analyzes his options, not that he has many, it's leave or leave.

"No." he decides calmly, making my eyes narrow. "I _really_ want to go out with you. That's all I ask from you. Just once… _please."_

"Just once?" I hear myself saying

"Just once and I won't bother you again."

"Ever again?" What am I doing? What I am saying?

"Ever again, but…" I arch an eyebrow, so he has a condition. "…you have to be _her."_

My heartbeat quickens, my hands start to sweat and my mouth is suddenly dry. This guy can't be serious. "I-I don-don't do it anymore." My voice cracks but I still manage to say it loud enough to be heard. I don't want to talk about it, much less with this person.

"Liar." He frowns and steps closer to me, leaving the bed. "You can't stop doing that."

I'm nervous, feeling like a little lamb caught by a wolf. "Of course I can!" I swallow the lump in my throat. "I can do whatever I want to, you have nothing to do with it."

"Don't lie to me, Naruto." He comes closer, and I can see how he's taller and bigger than me. "I have everything to do with it. I want to see _her_ at least once more." His voice is intense; I don't know how to react, I'm in panic.

After a tense intense moment, I sigh in defeat, emotionally exhausted. It's been a bad day and I just want it to end already. "Fine." I say low. I just want to end it. He said just once, right? "Just… just once."

He nods, looking brightened, what's scary. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? I have a weirdo, psycho stalker in my bedroom.

Just whatever, I only want it to end. I'm too tired to care.

Sasuke looks expectantly at me "What?" I ask him.

"Won't you change?" he motions for my clothes.

"Oh." Smart, Naruto, really smart. Get done with it.

I sigh again and open my wardrobe with Sasuke following my every move. He makes me uncomfortable, nervous; he makes me want to snap, to scream. He makes me want to hide, to run. And apparently, he also makes me do anything he wants.

I get the boxes where I hide all my secret things, from make-up to my dresses and wig. I have too many of them. I'm feeling a bit dizzy like I don't have control over my actions. What in the world am I doing showing my deepest secret to a stranger?

"They are beautiful." Sasuke whispers by my side when I display most of the clothes on the floor. "Can I choose one?" he asks out of blue.

"Eh, alright."

He narrows his eyes in concentration, thinking really hard on what outfit he must choose. In the end, he picks the most horrendous combination of the entire universe. There's no way I'm wearing it, doesn't he have any sense of fashion?

"I'm not wearing it." I protest putting my hands on my hips.

"You said you would." He pouts.

"But not this… this monstrous combination." I roll my eyes.

"What's wrong with it?" he crosses his arms over his chest, lifting an eyebrow. "They're beautiful."

"Yeah, I know they are, _I_ bought them, but not together."

We argue over it for a while, until I tell him to sit on my bed or we're not going anywhere and that's final. He agrees with a childish scowl. Oh God, and here I thought this guys was mature.

I'm overly conscious of his presence in my bedroom, of his eyes on me, when I'm getting dressed with the clothes _I_ _chose_ and Jesus it's so embarrassing that I feel my face in flames. I should have gone to the _bathroom_, but then nooo, we're both guys after all. Does he have to stare so intensely at me?

Anyway, I'll keep pretending I don't notice what he's doing. I go to the bathroom to apply the make-up, and guess what? He _follows_ me!

Oh great, now I can see how red my face is on the mirror.

Alright, the sooner I do it, the sooner it's over. I breathe in and try to ignore Sasuke on the door, applying the right make-up on my face. I feel the guilty pleasure I always get from painting my face. I love how my eyes stand out with the eyeliner, how I can almost hide the scars on my cheekbones, how my plump lips look perfectly drawn with lipstick.

My reflex smiles back at me. I love how I look beautiful, how I can pretend I'm not a monster for an instant. I touch the mirror and sigh, getting the wig and adjusting in my head so even if I move or pull at it with a bit force, it won't move an inch. I hold half of the long blond hair on a high ponytail, finishing with small pins on the sides.

There, I'm done.

I startle for a second when my eyes catch a man's profile on the mirror, bringing back bad memories, but soon my brain reminds me _he_ is gone and instead, who's looking at the other me on the mirror is a boy my age, Sasuke. I force myself to breathe deeply to calm my racing heart and turn around so I can face him.

Sasuke doesn't move; his mouth is agape; his eyes are widened and shining. I clear my throat lightly. "So…?" I feel stupid, and I know I'm blushing again.

He blinks and closes his mouth, a tint of pink on his cheeks showing his embarrassment. He swallows rather loudly. "You look beautiful." He whispers with a smirk.

I want to die.

He clears his throat and looks away. "Can we go?"

I nod, unable to form words, but quickly change my mind when I properly look at him and observe he's still in his uniform. That won't do.

I glare at our ugly piece of cloth we must wear every day, wishing them to disappear. And before I can actually think about it, with that same dizzy sensation, I pick some clothes of mine, some I know are too big on me, but would fit Sasuke perfectly.

"Wear it." I tell him and push him inside the bathroom before he can protest, closing the door on his face.

I hear him grunting and sighing, and after a while, he opens the door with the uniform in his hands and wearing the outfit I chose. I must say he looks good on it.

"Happy now?" he smirks at me.

I nod and smile a bit, leaving him to follow me to the front door with a pair of shoes in hands. We put on our shoes and leave the house to the station with Sasuke leading as I don't know where he wants to go. I only hope he's considerate enough to take me to somewhere far.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

He motions for me to hold on his arm, but I refuse. After a small argument, I agree under protest and scowling, what makes him chuckle and breathe a 'thank you' on my ear. Oh, the weather is chilly so I'm shivering, _sure._

I feel at ease walking through town in girl's clothes, but now, with Sasuke, I don't feel anxious or nervous at being found out. Maybe because I was already found out. Oh well, I can't believe on what I'm thinking, but perhaps our fake and forced date won't be that bad.

Sasuke has a serene expression, sometimes it changes to a smug one when he looks at me, but I prefer to ignore it. He takes me to a part of town I've never been before, it's far and fancy, stylish. Without any of us uttering a word, we enter on a small café shop.

I like it.

**AN: Sorry for the OOC, sometimes their personalities seem switched, but I think it would be way too forced if not like this. I hope you like it.**

**Thanks for the guest reviews, too bad I can't answer them : (**

**Keep reading. Next chapter, Sasuke's POV on their 'date'. Review and help me, help me I'm outta liiiiies and ways to say you diiiied (listening to Train – 50 ways to say goodbye)**


	5. I think we could be more than friends

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshiko ©**

Chapter 5 – I think we could be more than friends.

Sasuke's points of view

Naruto looks happy and comfortable here, so I guess I chose the right place. That's a relief, because I've been thinking about it since I invited, fine, intimated* him to go out with me on the spur of the moment. I only wanted to make something for him to cheer up, I didn't really think, but it's all his fault. Since the park incident, he's affecting me way too much.

Like now, she's softly smiling, playing with her hair, and when she looks at me, I see her blushing and can't help the smug feeling in my chest. I wonder how I had never paid attention at him before, and then I remember how different they are. I suspect and want to believe this is the real Naruto, because even without the make-up and clothes, he was different when we talked on the roof.

I like this Naruto much better. He's not excessively loud, doesn't force a grin or pretends to be dumb and naïve. Instead, he's quieter, easily embarrassed, and the most important: truer. She doesn't fake her expressions, and the soft smile is so much prettier than the forced grin.

I feel a tug on my shirt and realize I've been spacing out for a while. _Nice Sasuke, way too impress your crush_. I hear the inner me saying, but ignore it, first: I'm really trying to make this date as good as the ones I watch on the soap opera with my mother and second: I'm trying to not let my hopes up and have my heart broken.

I shake my head and sit beside Naruto on a small table on the very end of the place, where I suppose would make her more comfortable. She leans forward to me, making my heart beat faster and whisper a bit indignant. "Why did you sit beside me?"

Oh. Was I supposed to sit in front of her? But "I thought it would be better for us to talk without you having to worry dressed like this, and I could ask the waitress in your place too, but if you don't want me…"

"Oh, Do-don't… it's fine." She blushes again, turning her head to the other side.

I smirk, but don't know what to say. Fortunately, I don't have to worry since Naruto talks to me again, a whisper, so only I can hear.

"It's a very nice place here."

"Yeah." I mentally kick myself for being socially disabled when it comes to this kind of thing.

"How do you know this place? Do you come here often?" she looks around fascinated. I must agree with him that this place is really cool.

I freeze when I think about how I'm going to answer. Calm down, it's just a question, since when are you nervous over answering anything? Yeah right, the true would be something like 'Oh, when I was following you to your home, I had to call my mother to tell her I wasn't going home until later because I had a date. And she was so happy that she recommended this place and well, I have to thank her.'

I can't say it. It's embarrassing! He'll think I'm a momma's boy! Think fast, think fast. "Eh, a friend commented about this place but it's my first time coming here. Do you like it?" Good, I changed mother for friend, sounds true, right?

"It's cool. Fancy, stylish, I like how it is traditional and modern at the same time." I only nod, a bit impressive by Naruto's observing skills.

The awkward silence is cut when a waitress comes to greet us and to give us menus, which I politely thank. After few minutes, I have decided what I want and watch her delicately turning the pages and making faces at the prices.

"You don't have to worry about anything, just choose what you like." I tell her in reassurance.

"May I?" the look on her face reminds me of a child on Christmas asking permission to open the presents, it's impossible to refuse.

"Yeah." I answer softly. "I brought you here so just enjoy and leave the rest to me." I feel really cool saying it, even though I know it's ridiculously cliché.

She nods and looks back at the menu, soon calling me to tell what she wants. "Hm, I want coffee with strawberry crème, chocolate cookies and strawberry cake."

"You really like strawberries." Keep going, Sasuke, you can do it.

"Hmham, I love them." Oh no, don't smile at me like that.

"Oh, I should have imagined that since you tasted like strawberry when… we… kissed." My face falls along with my voice at the end of the sentence. Oh thanks brain, I thought I could count on you out of school, but it seems like not.

We both blush and look at different directions, trying to pretend I didn't say anything embarrassing. I clear my throat and call for the waitress as a distraction, telling her our orders.

For the first time, the silence bothers me and I can't take it. "So…" but apparently I should just shut up. "…eh, did you shave your legs?" _Smooth._

Naruto looks like she's about to faint, so red in the face she reminds me of a tomato. "It's the first time I do it. I just wanted to see how it would look." She ends up confessing exasperated.

"It looks good." I say on reflex. Oh why couldn't I inherit my mother's social skills? Nooo, I _had_ to take after my father.

"Eh, thanks?"

I sigh. "Look, I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit nervous about it…" yeah, _only_ a bit "… I'm not good with this kind of thing, I just don't know what to do as it's my very first date…" what the hell am I confessing? "And I know it's my only chance to, you know, go out with you, so I seriously want to make it perfect." I make myself depressive with my own words.

She blinks few times before she starts chuckling quietly, it's melodious, and I can't help but actually smile in return. "Don't worry…" She whispers with a sexy wink at the end. "I'm enjoying myself" and that's enough to make me calmer, relieved.

Our orders arrive, and I watch Naruto eating and humming in appreciation, what makes me happy. Bit by bit, I get more and more relaxed managing to talk normally to the blonde, telling and listening about useless things of each other.

I find out a lot of little things about him. I find out he lives with his mother, but she's always working, and his relatives live in other state, he says nothing about his father so I don't dare to ask. Naruto tells me about his favorite colors: orange and pink, favorite movies: comedy and romance, favorite kind of music: classic rock and pop, favorite food: ramen and sweets.

I find out we have almost nothing in common, and I tell him so.

I tell him I live with my mother and father since my brother moved out recently, and that my uncles, aunts and cousins all live close to my house. I tell him about my favorite colors: blue and purple, favorite movies: horror and drama, favorite kind of music: metal and punk, favorite food: tomatoes and rice.

We laugh together, sometimes teasing each other over small things like how Naruto would get fat eating so many sweets or how I'll get wrinkles soon since I'm always scowling. It's fun and I cannot _not_ imagine and _want_ to repeat it.

Naruto chuckles softly, never making her voice louder than a whisper. "Oh my, Sasuke, I can't believe your brother did that to you."

"Yeah, I know. He loves to make me miserable, that bastard." I roll my eyes, but smile.

She smiles back and sighs "You must be really close." She surprises me. People normally assume Itachi and I don't get along, but Naruto sees right through me. How truly perceptive is this guy?

"Yeah…" I say quietly, taking a sip on my juice. "We are."

"Do you miss him? I mean, after he moved?"

I think about it and smirk. "Yeah, sometimes. He moved recently so sometimes I still think he lives with me."

"Hmm."

"_Besides,_ he lives next to the south station." I say knowing that Naruto will associate it with the park. "And I'm always visiting him."

He nods his head, taking in the information. The blush on his cheeks informs me that he gets the hint, but isn't willing to talk about it. Oh, alright then.

But then "About that…" she says in an even smaller voice, blushing and hiding behind her hair "Thanks for helping me with those guys. They were really persistent." She clears her throat, but still avoids eye contact. "Though you went a bit too far with the ki-kiss."

"It was necessary. And I didn't see you complaining." Of course my face is on fire. Thanks for my – as my hypocrite brother would say – Snow White complex.

"I'm doing it now, not really complaining, eh, commenting, but that doesn't mean you can do it again. You were lucky to get me by surprise." I notice that, just like him, she also babbles when nervous.

"But don't deny it was good, I saw you closing your eyes."

She blushes. "That's because it's weird to do it with your eyes open." Naruto tries to reason. "And honestly, it wasn't very good, was that what, your first kiss?" Wait, what?!

I unwillingly blush, embarrassed and a bit angry. "So what if it was?!" I end up confessing.

Naruto looks surprised, finally looking at me again. "Really?" she tilts her head to the side, lessening my anger by its cuteness.

"Yeah." I pout. To my further irritation, she starts chuckling at me, making me frown more. "It's not funny."

"Sorry." The laugh subsides to a small giggle until it stops. "Well, that explains why you didn't take it further." He laughs, but stops realizing what he just said, crimson in the face.

I get closer to her "So you did want to take it further." I breathe on her ear, watching her shiver.

He childishly sticks his tongue out at me. "You wish it, bastard." It's low, teasing. And ah, that I do.

The rest of our date is smooth and nice. We make small talk and eat ice cream together, hers of course is strawberry and mine is lemon, since I don't really like sweets. I'm extremely enjoying this, but unfortunately it comes to an end.

"It's getting late." She comments looking at the darkening sky.

"Hn, yeah."

"I think I should get going." Naruto says seriously, not leaving room for an argument.

I don't want it to end, specially knowing it is my only date with Naruto, but I can't ask her to stay any longer, I already forced her enough. I sigh, trying to be satisfied and reason with myself since it was _me_ who said one date and I would leave her/him alone. It's hard, but in the end I nod and ask the waitress for the bill.

It's awkward when we walk to the station in silence, side by side. My hands are inside my pockets and I don't have the same courage I had earlier to ask her to hold on my arm, even if it's silly. When she asks me what station I'm getting off, I tell her I will walk her home and surprisingly she doesn't protest, just nods her head and hums.

The walk from the station to her house is silent, but not really awkward. I take it we're both lazy after a very pleasant afternoon, _yeah sure._ But what's really awkward to the point of making me extremely uncomfortable is when we stand facing each other in front of her house, just before we part.

I don't know where to stand, my hands itch to move, but where to put them? Naruto fidgets with her blond hair and the silence feels longer than it actually is.

"Eh…" she looks at me, still playing with the blond hair. "…thanks for taking me home, I guess."

"It was the least I could do." I answer politely "I hope you enjoyed your day despite everything."

To my great relief, she smiles and nods. "Yeah, it was cool, thanks."

My stupid brain stops working and starts making assumptions, making me bold. I smirk smugly "According to my plans, it's now you should give me a kiss."

She may think I'm joking because she chuckles and mocks me. "I'm not the type to kiss on the first date." I have this urge to bite off that cocky grin.

I take a step closer. "It wouldn't be our first kiss."

Again she takes as a joke, or she herself is only fucking with my mind. "It would be _your_ first _true_ kiss." She smirks arrogantly.

I take another step closer, resting my arm over the wall behind her, trapping her with my body, making her realize I'm not joking. "I wouldn't mind my first kiss to be with you." I whisper leaning forward. She's still, afraid and I want to take advantage of it.

But when my lips are so close I can feel her breathing, I feel her hands on my shoulder, pushing me off. She looks angry, but not really at me, since she seems to not be able to look at my face. "Don't do it." She says low and it's a bit pained.

"But I want to." I take her hands in mine, looking at the blue orbs. "Please"

She shakes her head.

"Please. Just one… Please Naruto." I think I never said please so many times in my life until now.

"You will regret it." She's giving in and I'm taking it, no matter the consequences. I can only think of here and now and how much I want to feel his lips on mine.

"I won't." I tilt her head up by the chin, leaning forward.

"You don't know what to do." Naruto tries, but it's not enough.

"Then teach me." I whisper taking in the despair on her features.

I can't do it.

I don't move. We're inches apart but I can't move. I can't do it.

Then she sighs and leans her forehead to mine. "You want to know how a true kiss is, right?"

I nod.

She swallows "If I teach you, promise me two things."

I nod again.

"The first is that we will only do it this time."

"I know." I breathe out.

"Hm. And the second… you can't let your hopes up, Sasuke. I agreed on this and went out with you, if I kiss you, you can't think we will ever be more than friends."

It hurts, but I nod once more.

"Promise me."

"I promise." Then it registers me. "So we can be friends?"

She smiles. "We already are friends. I guess I need someone who knows this part of me, understands me and doesn't judge me. And…"

"I will be this person."

"Good. So we're friends, Sasuke."

I force a small smile. "Friends it is, then, Naruto."

A moment of silence falls on us again until I break it. "So… what should I do now?"

Then he looks me serious in the eye. "Kiss me." He breathes on my lips.

"How?" I feel pathetic but that's the true.

She giggles lightly, not breaking the eye contact. "You really are hopeless… Hm, just two things, breathe through your nose and use your tongue. The rest is trial and error."

I nod, clenching and unclenching my hands until Naruto takes them and put them on her waist. Her own hands go to my shoulders. My heart is beating so fast, my hands are sweating, I'm trembling and our lips are pressed together.

I remember to take deep breaths through my nose. The feeling of her plump, strawberry-taste lips on mine is even better than I remembered. She responds lightly, molding her lips to mine slowly. I open my mouth to use my tongue uncertainly how, but find it pleading to enter her mouth.

She allows it quickly, and I poke her own tongue with mine. I confess it's weird, wet, a bit scratchy, and even a bit disgusting to share saliva, but I don't want to stop. I poke her tongue with mine again and she breaks the kiss, making me panic. "Too rough." She whispers and quickly reattaches her lips to mine.

Few more times, she breaks the kiss to give me more instructions until we're kissing in a slow pace, moving our tongues in synch, not too roughly. I still think it's a bit disgusting, but it's so good I can't stop. I want more. My jaw is hurting, but I want more.

I feel my blood going south, taking all my brain cells to space. I close the small distance we have, consequently brushing my forming erection to her bare thigh.

She shoves me off with a small scream.

We're both panting, flushed, holding on our own chests. She's in shock, and I'm in pain.

"Sorry." She manages, but looks like she wants to run.

"It's fine." I swallow and clean my mouth and chin from saliva, not sure if mine or hers.

"I'm better going in. Thanks for the day. Bye." She says too quickly and too quickly she's inside before I can do or say anything. I hear a thump on the door from the other side and close my eyes.

Naruto was right. I regret it.

Not the kiss, but the knowledge of never reaching what you want, no matter what.

It rains when I'm going home numbly. The rain drops are the tears I can't shed.

Arriving home, my mother excitedly asks how the date was, but only a glance at my face, she understands. She _always_ understands. My mother doesn't speak a word, just offers me an understanding smile and takes me to my bathroom as I'm drenched from the rain.

She tells me to take a warm bath and that she'll make dinner, giving me clean towels and clothes.

When I go to my bedroom, my father is waiting for me. He walks to me with his usual emotionless expression, much like mine, and pulls me into a hug. He says nothing, just hugs me like he did when I was a kid. I can't take it, not with him. Maybe if it was my mother or even Itachi, I could hold on, but with my father, the tears simply fall and fall, making me feel like a little boy all over again in my dad's arms.

It hurts so much.

To be in love for the first time in your whole life and have it ended before you can do anything, rejected, crushed. It hurts more than I can measure.

"I assume you take after your father's social skills." I nod, feeling the end of the tears and my throat hoarse along with the unsteady breaths. "I feel sorry for you, son." He tells me at an attempt to cheer me up.

We part and I clean my eyes with the back of my hands "Thanks dad."

My father pats my head and sighs. "You know I'm no good at comforting you. That's your mother's department."

"Yeah, I know." I see the wetness on his shirt, but he doesn't seem to care at all. How long did I cry?

"But I think we should talk, Sasuke, especially now Itachi is not around."

I nod and we both sit at my bed. It's weird, but it's also good to have my father to talk to me instead of Itachi. My mother once told me father thought Itachi was better than himself at handling me, but he indeed cared. Of course, by that time, I thought it was just an excuse to not having to deal with me. But now I see that he truly cares, only he's as good as me to talk to people.

"So…" he coughs. "… I take it your date was horrible." I almost laugh. Like father, like son. Very smooth to begin, dad.

"Actually the date was good…" I tell him. It's awkward, I know, but two awkward people talking is a little more comforting as I know we both lack delicacy. "It was really good, but it's over now and it won't happen again."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated. I kind of forced her to go from the beginning and I agreed on a one-time thing, but now it's over… I want it again."

"Hn, I see. Well, Sasuke, unless you threatened her, what I'm sure you _didn't_…" he looks me with that 'or else' look. "…you didn't force her, you _convinced_ her." I like this way of thinking. "And believe me when I say you're already much better than I was at your age."

"Seriously? How is it possible?"

He mock-glares at me, but it still makes me flinch a bit. "When I was your age, around 13 or 14…"

"Father, I'm 16 already." I correct him.

"Around the same age." He rolls his eyes. "I met your mother at that time. At first, I really didn't like her…" I always heard the story from my mother, but she never told me that, just the flowers and romance that made me and Itachi sick in the stomach. "It was much later, when we were in high school that I noticed her truly. Pretend you never heard it, but I would say it was love at first sight though it wasn't the first time I saw her."

I snort at my father's words. It's so strange.

He continues "That time I was as confused as you, but I didn't have anyone to ask, your grandfather wouldn't take having his son asking him. Even so, I decided she would be my girlfriend…" he chuckles in nostalgia. "I just didn't count on the fact I had no idea what I should do to get her to talk to me."

"A hi would be a beginning." I tell him.

"Yes, but I didn't know that. I actually wrote a love letter to her, shoved it into locker and ran away."

"That's so embarrassing." I hide my face in my hands for my father. "Did it work?"

"It would… if I hadn't forgotten to sign."

"You're kidding me." I find myself really at ease.

"It's true. Of course I told her later when she started looking for the boy who wrote the letter, but she said a rude boy like me could never write something like that."

"That's harsh."

"I know. It was really hard for me and my father didn't allow men to cry in his house." I smile, thinking that no matter how harsh and strict my parents are, they are still great for me. "It took me a whole month to convince Mikoto that I wrote the letter. And you know what?"

"Hn…?"

"She wanted to thank me. Only that."

I chuckle at my father's bad luck. Really, mother was cruel to him. "Then what?"

"Well, I wanted to strangle her, but as you know, I didn't. After that, we became friends and began to know each other. But it wasn't enough for me, because I didn't love her as only a friend…"

"How did you convince her to start dating?"

"Oh that, it took me two months to make her agree on one single date. And more three to convince her we should go on a second. After the fourth date, she gave in and we finally started to date officially."

"Hn. And then things went fine?"

"Yeah, you could say so. But listen Sasuke, there's no thing as a perfect easy relationship. It's hard and takes a lot of you, of both parts. You have to accept and understand, but you also have to change and sometimes deny what you know will be bad for those you care. It's hard to find a balance, but it's worth it."

I nod. "I want to try harder. I don't want to give up, father."

"You shouldn't. It took me half a year to convince your mother for one date, you already did it. You'll be fine, Sasuke, you're my son after all." He smiles proudly at me, making me smile back.

"Thanks dad. Maybe you're not that bad with people."

"You should tell your mother that, or I'm sleeping on the couch. Now, come on, let's have dinner."

I chuckle and follow my father to the kitchen, where my mother awaits us with a gentle smile.

I feel much better after the talk and even if I understand my situation is different from my father's, I get what he wanted to say. I won't give up after my first fail. I'll take things slow between me and Naruto and I will make him fall in love with me even if it takes my whole life.

*It's right, I meant intimate and not intimidate.

-Intimate (verb): 1. to hint; suggest; 2. to proclaim; make known.

-Intimidate (verb): 1. to make timid or frightened; scare; 2. to discourage, restrain, or silence illegally or unscrupulously, as by threats or blackmail.

**AN: Yay, I confess that I cried when Sasuke cried. I'm really sentimental, but anyway, it's the biggest chapter so far and I have no idea why the chapters are getting bigger and bigger, but I honestly don't know if it'll keep happening.**

**I really enjoyed this chapter, and I only didn't update earlier because I was busy with Christmas and all. But wow, I'm talking too much, hope you had a nice day and if I don't have time to write another chapter until New Year, see you next year and be happy.**

**Review and I'll be very happy and eager to write faster.**

**Thanks Guest reviewer for the suggestion, I think I could really use it, not only now. I have other plans for now, but thank you anyway :D**


	6. Stop pretending please

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

Chapter 6 – Stop pretending... please.

Sasuke's point of view

Contrary to what I expected, Naruto doesn't stop talking to me after yesterday's incident. Instead, we decide to not talk about it and carry on being only friends, for a while. I can't say if my intentions are pure or not, but now I'm trying to take things slow and get to know him even more.

I like him when he's not around his friends, like now. He's indeed loud, but not extremely, it's acceptable; not meant to be heard by everyone like he was pretending, but just his natural tone of voice. I'm happy to say he's more talkative now we're more or less used to each other.

**~(Line breaker)~**

It's been two weeks already that we spend our lunchtime together, under the oak tree of the school's backyard, talking, laughing, eating and well, wrestling sometimes when Naruto is way too stupid to stand and I use the opportunity to… eh, grope him. He's opening up more to me and I'm doing the same with him, but I don't talk about everything and neither does he.

"Seriously Sasuke, which ones are more aggressive: pandas or koalas?*" I snort in disbelief to the seriousness Naruto asks me this.

"You know blondie, I used to think that girls got dumber when they wore skirts, but you are quite smarter in them, aren't you?" I smirk taking in the blush forming on those whiskered cheeks.

"Don't say it, bastard." He mumbles, embarrassed.

"You know it's true." I say a bit curious to what he has to say about it.

He rolls his eyes. Watching Naruto for a month and talking to him every day for two weeks makes me realize he has three ways to avoid talking about something.

The first is the irony. "Oh I'm sorry if I'm not smart enough to be in presence of your majesty."

I try to press him. "I'm serious, moron."

"I'm serious too, bastard. It's not because it's easy for you that it's easy for me, it's not my fault you're a genius while I'm a loser, alright?" The second is the anger, sometimes along with the self-loath.

I sigh, trying to not lose my patience. It's been the fourth of fifth time Naruto calls himself a loser; it makes me angry. "You're not a loser."

And the third – "Anyway, I don't care about this stuff, I only care about… hey did you see that, what that guy did? Come here see Sasuke. Oh my, I can't believe my eyes! Why the hell is he doing that? Hey! You're not paying attention!" – The nervous babbling and change of subject.

I usually let him be, but not today. "Naruto." I warn him. "I just want to know why you act dumb when you're not, moron." I go straight to the point, making him visibly uncomfortable.

Then he sighs and leans on the tree behind us. "I don't do it on purpose. It's just that, I don't know, people don't ask much of you when they don't expect much. And it's not that I like having the lowest grades of school, but I can't concentrate enough." He tries to explain.

"Silly, what are you afraid of? Being the school's nerd? If it's that, don't worry 'cause I will absolutely not let you take my place." I joke lightly.

He chuckles, _that_ chuckle that always makes my heart beat a little faster. "Thanks Sasuke… but I don't think I can."

"I can tutor you…" I propose bluntly. "…eh, if you want."

Slowly, but surely, Naruto nods his head sealing our deal. It makes me really happy because it means I'll spend even more time with him. Not that we already don't spend almost the whole day together, but it's different. I don't know when he'll let me walk him to his house so we can lunch together or talk or do that.

I mean, sometimes – it only happened three times in two weeks – Naruto dresses as her and we go to the park on the other side of town. I like to pretend it's a date, even if she makes clear it's not. Though the last time we have gone there, she kissed me on the cheek when I walked her home.

"Hey! Sasuke!" I blink to Naruto waving his hands in front of my face.

"What?"

"You were out for five minutes. Let's go, the bell rang."

"Hn."

**~(Line breaker)~**

Being Naruto's tutor is proving to be quite a task. He's far from stupid, that far I knew long ago, but apparently he hasn't being paying attention at the classes for, how can I say, the whole year. Teaching a whole semester is extremely hard and honestly, the blonde _has_ to be unique even to learn.

I have no idea why, but after a lot of failed attempts, we find out he learns faster and better with actual examples instead of repetitive exercises like I do. Sometimes it's hard to find a good one, but it's working with us.

Oh and when it doesn't work, I use a very efficient, yet depressing, method.

"Moron, if you make another mistake on it, I'll have to kiss you."

He always blushes and, for my angst, tries even harder and makes sure to not be wrong. It's like he _needs_ to never kiss me again, what's extremely sad for me.

"Are you done?"

He nods and gives me the paper. I read it few times, having memorized all the correct answers. I smirk, feeling mean, at the only mistake he made. "Naruto, I see you made a mistake…" he gulps. "… and as I had said earlier, I would _have_ to kiss you and since you knew it and even so there's indeed a mistake this time, I can only conclude it was deliberate and you're willing to have me kiss you."

He doesn't say anything, but he's pale. I lean forward and he doesn't do anything. For the second time, I see myself inches apart but unable to close the small distance.

I sigh. "I'm kidding, moron." I step back as he breathes in relief. "I promised I wouldn't do it anymore and I _won't_."

He nods and smiles in gratefulness. Soon we're back to the books while I try to not notice the new tiny crack in my heart.

I love him. I know that even more. I love him and I love her. They're different, but the same. They're cute and strong; shy and loud; girly and boyish; naïve and smart. I love the combination.

I love this person.

I love Naruto Uzumaki.

And it hurts.

**~(Line breaker)~**

A month.

Only a month was what Naruto and I lasted. No, we didn't break up. How could we when we never started anything? But it's exactly a month since we began our friendship as the first step to my plan of making him fall for me and it's over.

I see him talking to his friends, the ones who didn't care about him for a whole month, and I know that they're asking him why he disappeared, h_ypocrite assholes,_ why he is suddenly talking to me of all people, _fuckers._ They could at least whisper when talking about _me,_ I can hear everythingyou imbeciles.

I grit my teeth when they say Naruto doesn't need to hang out with me, _who the fuck do they think they are?_ They laugh and what hurts and angers me the most is to see Naruto laughing along, even when I know he's faking, forcing it. The person I love, who I thought was at least my friend, who I confide some of my deep secrets, who confides in me his deepest secret, is laughing at me.

He waves his hands telling them I'm fine. A month spending together, going out, talking, sharing, laughing, and now what am I to him? _Fine._

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and the tears burning my eyes. _Stupid, ingrate, liar, blond cross-dresser._

I scowl when he comes to me with that stupid fake smile. It makes him ugly. "Sasuke… the guys asked me to hang with them at lunchtime, so I was wondering…"

I sigh, opening a book and hiding my face behind it. "Do whatever you want, moron." I say coldly.

I hear him growling impatient "No, bastard. I came to ask if you want to hang out with us."

I make him wait a long time, pretending to read the book. I honestly hope it's not upside down. I don't have many choices, if I still want to be around him I'll have to put up with his friends, or I can watch him from distance and no. "Whatever."

He grimaces at my 'cool' vocabulary and shakes his head. "Yeah, just whatever, bastard. Just make sure to spend lunchtime with me." And then he smiles, his _true_ smile, making me _almost_ forget I'm angry.

"Hn."

**~(Line breaker)~**

One week proved me Naruto _really_ needs to change his friends. I can't say they're all bad, there are these guys that I can stand: Chouji, Shikamaru and Kiba. They are cool, well, Kiba is an idiot, Shikamaru is lazy and Chouji is… fat, so I wonder how they ended up with the 'popular' kids. My guess is the fact they're childhood friends of the two cheerleader girls: Ino, your typical blonde, and Sakura, that's right, Naruto's ex. They are not as bad as I thought first.

The biggest problem, or should I say _problems,_ are the guys from the football team, whose names I didn't bother to know. They are the jerks I hate the most. They're big, smelly, 'manly', excessively loud, irritating, disgusting, and I hate them, all of them.

These are the jerks who won't think twice to rape a girl, to steal an old lady or to intimidate you. These are the assholes that will beat your brother because apparently he couldn't be good at sports _and_ school. The jealous bastards that will accuse him of cheating somehow and beat him so hard you'll visit him on the hospital for weeks.**

I hate them.

The second week is being hell for me as I prefer to spend my time with my few old friends, though, being third-years, they're busy and a bit freaked out about university applications and fees. It's not that I care to spend a day or two by myself, relaxing under the tree that Naruto and I used to spend our time together.

Naruto still didn't realize we don't talk to each other for days. I sigh, I'm not sure if I'm delusional or simply miserable. This sucks. Even my mother is asking if things are fine at school as I'm not spending my days outside like I used to do.

I feel my cellphone buzzing in my pocket and answer without knowing who it is.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sasu!"

"Hey, it's you." I miss this friend of mine. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine and you?"

"Hn."

"Ah guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm going to Konoha this weekend and I'm staying for a whole week!"

"Really? That's good." I'm truly happy for this as I don't see her for years, I guess.

"I thought you knew, Sasu, I told the boys already."

"Hn." Yeah, but it's not I've been talking to them often.

"Anyway, that's it. I have to hang out now. I'll call you when I arrive at the city. See you!"

"Bye." I return the phone slightly happier.***

I lie under the tree's shadow and close my eyes. Suddenly I feel an extra weight on myself. _Who the fuck dares to touches me?_ Out of reflex, I flex and turn whoever or whatever it is above me locking it on the grass with my hands and knees. I find confusing widened blue eyes looking at me.

"What do you want now, Naruto?" I spit at him. Who does he think he is coming back to me as if nothing had happened? Argh, who am I trying to fool? I can't help but be a bit happier to know he came to talk to me.

I free him and we sit side by side. He says nothing, but gives me a sheet of paper. I look at it and get surprised and happy. I smile at him. "I told you weren't a loser, moron."

He grins back at me, taking my breath away. "It was the best I could do as we didn't study last week, but I'm so happy, thank you, Sasuke!"

Oh God I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him right here, right now, press him to the tree and just taste him. I want it so much, but I bite my lower lip to prevent my actions. "I'm awesome like that." I wink at him making him blush and stick his tongue out at me.

Suddenly it seems these two last weeks never happened and we're just hanging out like we do every day, under the oak tree, happy.

"About that…" I take he's referring to last week as he fidgets with his thumbs. "…sorry we didn't spend much time together because of my baseball practice, so eh, can we… can we go to the park later?"

I blink twice, taken by surprise. Naruto never asked me to go to the park, I usually follow him there and he lets me. I idiotically nod feeling my face in flames for who knows the reason.

He stands up. "Good, then I'm going, the guys are waiting for me. See you later, Sasuke."

With that, I snap with anger and all the emotions building up all this time. I stand up and press Naruto on the tree in a second, blind with rage. "I can't believe you!" I growl at his face. "I really cannot believe you, Naruto! What the fuck are you doing?"

"Let me go bastard. Everyone is looking." He whispers agitatedly, looking to the sides. The fact he's more worried about others than me infuriates me.

"LOOK AT ME!" I demand, scream. "Look at me, Naruto! Why can't you look at me?! They don't know who you are." I plea "Or do they?" I let him go, but he's frozen in place. "Do they know who you are, Naruto?! Do they know your secrets?! Do they?!" He shakes his head slightly in denial, his eyes are scared. "No? And who knows?" I spit angrily.

"Yo-you." He stutters. I can hear faint whispers but I don't care.

"And _who_ did you forget for two weeks?" That's the final and breaking point of our argument.

We stand in silence, facing each other. My anger dissipates and I regret having said that as I realize the childishness and stupidity of my words. Who am I to control Naruto's life? Who am I to decide with whom he should hang out? I'm nothing to him, I'm other friend like many others he has and he made it clear from the beginning.

And the most stupid fact: Have I really felt forgotten for these only _two_ weeks?

"We need to talk." Naruto says still trembling a bit. He looks around. "In private."

I nod "Yes, we really need." I feel ashamed of myself for causing a scene like that at school.

**~(Line breaker)~**

Once again, I find myself in an awkward silent walk to Naruto's house, following him two steps behind, getting more and more nervous by the second.

We go to his bedroom in silence, sitting face to face on his bed. We need to talk, but I don't know how to start. I want to tell him so many things, demand him so many things, but I don't have this right.

"Are you still mad at me?" He asks me in small voice.

I shake my head. "Sorry."

"It's fine. I guess it's my fault." I don't deny it, even knowing I should.

"Why did you change, Naruto?" He shrugs. "I don't like this false you. I like the real Naruto the most."

He looks down. "You are the only one."

"That's not true. You still have few good friends: Kiba, Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru and even Sakura. They'll be your friends no matter what, moron." I know that because I talked to these people.

"No, you don't understand. They'll leave me, they'll laugh at me, they'll hate me for sure!" for the first time since I know him, he's being totally honest with himself. That's right Naruto, just let it all out because I'm here for you.

"And if they do, they won't be true friends." He looks pained. "I'm not saying for you to go to school in the girls' uniform, though I definitely wouldn't mind." He giggles humorlessly "I'm just saying you don't have to pretend to be someone you are not, because really, you're so much better than that douche Naruto I saw at school last week."

He still looks sad "It's not that easy, Sasuke."

I sigh, I know that anything I say he'll deny, so I stand up and walk to his wardrobe, being there enough times to know where exactly Naruto hides his boxes and get all of them, spreading all his clothes on the floor. He looks confused, but doesn't move out of bed.

"I don't know how to pick an outfit." I confess to him, making him smile and roll his eyes.

He explains to me briefly how to match the colors, the tissues, the forms telling me what clothes makes him looks slender, with more or less hips, with more or less waist, broader or not. It's fascinating.

I choose one he approves. "Now dress yourself and we'll do your make-up."

He protests, but soon gives in, changing himself while I fold his girl's clothes back to the boxes and to the wardrobe, getting instead his make-up. We go to the bathroom, and he asks me why I'm making him do that, but I just say for him to do it.

I ask him about the make-up out of curiosity and to distract Naruto. It's really interesting how he knows so much about it, and I have to admit that it's harder than it looks; my admiration for the girls who wears make-up everyday slightly grew.

I never thought it was so complicated to paint your face, you have rules and steps and you also have to match the colors right. Naruto tells me all of this while he applies with perfection the eyeliner. I can't understand how he doesn't even blink with that pencil in his eyes.

He explains how to let his face more feminine, how to hide the scars I'm dying to know how he got, how to choose the right rouge and how to apply it on his cheeks, how to choose the right lipstick and how to paint it on his already perfect plump lips. I swallow my desire to kiss him, to touch him. He tells me how to draw the lines above his eyes to make them bigger and lighter, how to apply the mascara to make his eyelashes longer.

Lastly, he puts the blond wig that is almost the same color as his natural hair. "Can I brush it?" I ask right after he adjusts the fake hair. He gives me the hairbrush and tells me to be careful. I feel the hair that I hadn't really paid attention before. "It feels like normal hair. It's soft."

"That's because it _is_ real hair."

"Hn. Where did you buy it?" I have this question in mind for a while. Where and how does he buy the clothes, the make-up, and everything else?

"Online. I worked part time job for a while on a publisher store so I saved some money. Now with the baseball team on more games, I don't have more free time though I still need the money." She babbles animatedly while I nod and brush the long hair. "Oh you can pin my hair if you want."

"Can I make a pigtail? It's the only thing I know." I tell her and she nods enthusiastically as she doesn't know how to do it and wants to try it. I do one at each side of her head and I must say it looks very cute.

Finally we're done and Naruto looks happier than earlier. But when she looks at the mirror, I can see the hesitation and guilty. I know what I have to do to make her understand.

"Naruto." I call making her look at me through the mirror. I close the distance between us, touching her shoulders. "Say, what do you see when you look at yourself like this?"

Hesitantly, she touches her reflex, closing her fist with a sad expression. It looks wrong on her features. "I see someone incomplete. I see a monster."

I'm shocked to hear that, but I don't give up. "Then you're looking at me, moron." I mock myself lightly making her give me a small smile. "Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?" She nods. "I see someone real. I see the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I see someone strong, happy and I saw her the whole month we spent together because…" I turn her around. "…it's not the make-up that makes you who you are…" I trace her delicate features with my fingers "…it's just who you are and what you like, it only adds to you, it fits you and definitely doesn't make you a monster."

She bits her lower pinkish lip. "You're crazy."

I smile "I know." And I'm crazy for you. "Just be who you are, you have no idea how much more beautiful you are when you're not pretending, how much more interesting, I can't see a reason anyone wouldn't want to be with you, the real you." She pouts like a child and nods her head slowly, as if convincing herself of my words. I look her in the eye. "Nobody will leave you if you are who you are, Naruto."

But to my luck and to prove I simply suck at dealing with people, she looks even sadder after my words. _Great_, I can't do anything right with her. She hugs me tightly and I can only return the gesture comforting her.

"_He_ did." She tells me in a small, weak voice.

"Who?" I ask caressing her head. My mother used to do this when I was younger, so I can only do the same and hope it has the same effect.

"My dad." She confesses and looks at me with teary eyes.

I see. I see now what must have happened or something close to that. The reason Naruto never talks about his father, why he feels so guilty, why he says people will leave him if they find out about his secret. I see and I don't know what to do, what to say. I can only hold him close to me and let him cry in my chest.

"He left me, Sasuke." Naruto says crying. "He left us… my mom… she's suffering… it's my fault… I-I'm a monster… my dad said it and le-left."

"You're not a monster, moron. You are not."

"Bu-but he hates me… my dad hates me… and I can't ha-hate him…" He sobs into my shirt more and I can only hold him, feeling helpless. "I miss him" he confesses weakly. "I miss him so much Sasuke." He looks at me with lost, smudgy eyes. "I wan- I want him to take m-me to my baseball ga-games. I want him to-to say he's pro-proud of me and th-that he lo-loves me. I want my dad, Sasuke."

I can't do anything. I can't say anything. Just hold him to myself trying presumptuously to protect him. "Shh, shh, it's fine, Naruto." I imitate my mother to my childhood memories but the truth is that I'm scared too, for him, for myself, for my parent's reaction when they find out the girl I always tell them is actually a boy. "Just let it out… It's fine, shh, shh."

We stand, holding each other, listening to the desperate and refreshing sobs.

The sobs subside to cries, to sniffles, to whimpers, and to small intakes of breaths.

"Geez, look at what you do to me, asshole." He pouts. "I'm a mess." I smile because despite everything, he looks a bit happier. "I need a shower." He states, taking off the wig carefully and looking at his face.

"Go ahead. Don't mind me." I joke because it's easier.

He half glares at me, pushing me out of the bathroom "Get out of my bathroom, pervert." He sticks his tongue out at me and closes the door, locking it.

I chuckle and go into his bedroom, lying on his bed and sighing. _You knew it would be complicated, Sasuke. You knew someone like Naruto wouldn't be easy to understand. But you love him don't you?_

"So much." I answer aloud to myself.

My eyelashes feel heavy, my body feels numb, my mind feels free and Naruto's scent on his bed is intoxicating me.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

I wake up to Naruto softly shaking me and calling my name. Sitting up, I rub my eyes off sleep and apologize. He smiles and I notice he's wearing normal boy's clothes, realizing it's the first time I see him like that as I always see him in uniform or girl's clothes.

"You look nice." I say still a bit sleepy.

He blushes. "Thanks. I got a t-shirt for you as yours is dirty."

I look at my school's shirt and see the dark spot from Naruto's make-up. I get the shirt he offered me and change myself, noticing smugly as the blue eyes stare at my bare chest until… "You are so thin, Sasuke, do you even eat?"

"Sorry for being a skeleton." I say sarcastically.

"No. I mean, you'd look in girl's clothes."

I pause, repeat the sentence in my mind few times and arch an eyebrow. "What are you thinking?"

After some blinks and a realization, Naruto gets all red in the face to my amusement. "No, that's not what I meant. I just…"

I chuckle. "It's fine. I wouldn't mind." I mumble and have to repeat various times inside my head to see if I heard myself right.

"Really?"

"Yes." I smirk, looking at him. "I would wear girl's clothes for you, Naruto." It should sound more romantic, more impactful, but it only sounds ridiculous. God, it's far from the first time this guy makes me say stupid things so willing.

"That's so romantic, Sasuke" He bats his eyelashes mocking me and laughs wholeheartedly.

"Isn't it?" I play along. "I would wear an orange thong in public for you, Naruto." I can't hold a small laugh.

Naruto laughs even harder, holding his stomach. "That would be hilarious!"

We laugh more and end up on the bed, side by side.

"I was serious when I said I wouldn't mind wearing girl's clothes for you." I tell him feeling my cheekbones hurting from laughing.

When I look at him, I regret my sentence, seeing the devious grin he has on his face. Yeah, I'm screwed.

Naruto makes me wear a black dress with boots and a metallic belt on my waist. I'm feeling a bit ridiculous, but I have to say that wearing a dress is very comfortable for the lower parts. But the boots are very uncomfortable, counting they're too small for me and the heels makes me lose balance with every step I take to the bathroom.

The blue eyes are glinting in excitement what scares me a bit. I feel under an operation with all the tools Naruto has in hands, painting, repainting, making me sneeze with that brush thing, holding my face so I don't smudge his work. The worst are the eyes, it hurts to let them open as Naruto asks, and it's really uncomfortable to feel the pencil in them without blinking.

"Ha, finally!" The idiot exclaims happily and satisfied to what I almost think it's worth the suffering I went through. "Now, wait here."

He leaves me sitting on the bathroom's toilet out of the blue and obviously I take a glance at the mirror to see how I look.

My eyes look good and feminine, but I don't know, it doesn't feel like me. It's like watching a stranger looking back at you on the mirror. I look slender than Naruto, but he gives that delicate aura that I'm sure I don't.

Naruto comes back with a maniacal grin and a hair straighter. Good bye hair I love so much for its perfect natural form. Thanks for all the moments of mockery for reminding a duck's butt, for being antigravity, for hiding my face when I didn't want people to see it. Goodbye hair.

I run my fingers through my once curly locks and feel them straight and way too long, I never knew my hair was this long. When I think it's over, Naruto grabs me by the chin and tells me not to move as he paints my lips with _red_ lipstick.

"Finally done." He finishes and walks back to the bedroom leaving me alone again.

I look at the mirror and almost cry. _Where is Sasuke?!_ I sigh, admitting two things: the first is that I, at least, would be a pretty girl and the second is that the person I love is completely nuts yet really good with clothes and make-up.

"Are you happy now?" I lean on the door's frame, crossing my arms. I take in the sight of Naruto gasping at me with pleasure.

I try to act on it, walking slowly to his direction, failing miserably when I lose balance and stumble. Mission failed. I'm definitely not suited for being a girl. I sit on the bed beside him, pretending nothing happened.

"So? How do I look?"

He smiles. "Have I ever told you which my favorite cartoon was?"

"Which was?"

"It was Snow White… And right now, you're looking exactly like her." I unwillingly blush, but Naruto laughs. "You know, Sasuke, I never thought someone would find out about _me_, but I'm happy it was you and not someone else… You're so cool and so awesome, you understand me without trying and you always know what to say to make me feel better so easily." My heart beats faster to the sudden confession. If only he knew how hard I'm trying.

"Don't be delusional, moron. I'm not that awesome." He tilts his head to the side in confusion. "I'm not being nice to you for nothing; I have my reasons, impure reasons might I say." I reach my hand to touch his cheeks. "I know you said to not let my hopes up, but honestly, Naruto, I can't help but fall for you a bit more every day." I confess feeling my face, my chest, my whole body in flame, my hands are imperceptible trembling and sweating and my heart is beating so hard and so fast I think it'll stop anytime.

Naruto presses his own hand above mine on his face, but he looks down, bits his lip. I sigh, taking my hands off him quickly. "It's fine. I'm doing it on my own risk, moron. You don't have to feel guilty or pressured."

His blue eyes find mine slowly. "It's not that…" he whispers. "…I- You are…" He never completes the sentence, reaching for me, making me feel his hands dancing on my still painted face, leaning forward, getting closer and closer to my face, to my lips.

I stop him when we're mere inches apart. "Don't kiss me if you'll break my heart." It's only a breath, yet also a plea, and contradicting my words, I lean forward half closing my eyes.

"I won't. I've wanted to kiss you again since the first time…" I feel his lips sealing to mine for a second. "…but only now I can do it, Sasuke." I close the distance between us with force, opening my mouth, frowning when our teeth clack, it hurts a bit. For a millisecond, I'm afraid I have forgotten how to kiss him properly, but I didn't and we're kissing like we did once and like I have dreamed and wanted so many times to repeat.

It's still disgusting, but it's different now, or maybe not and I had forgotten the feeling of his lips on mine, of his tongue swirling with mine. My hands go to his back, clutching on his shirt as his own hands go to my hair. For a moment, I think it's funny that this time I'm the girl, but it's still the same, Naruto has me on his finger anyway.

Our position is uncomfortable, but I can't stop kissing him, not when I wanted it so much. My back is hurting and I bet Naruto's is too as we're both a bit turned, sitting side by side on the bed. I attempt to change it without breaking the kiss, but it's impossible.

We adjust ourselves until I'm on his lap and kissing again, my hands on his neck and his on my hips. I want more, I want to lay him, feel his body even closer to mine, but he doesn't let me. So we kiss, breaking it to take shallow breaths and take in our flushed faces. We kiss again.

And again.

Again.

Again.

We kiss and kiss again.

And again.

I look at his blue eyes, cupping his face with my hands. I touch my forehead to his, inhaling and exhaling, feeling his hot breath on mine. "I love you." I confess in the heat of the moment, not thinking, just feeling. I can't believe I said it.

He doesn't answer and I try to convince myself that I'm not waiting for an answer. Naruto brushes my hair behind my ear. "I don't." I close my eyes in pain. "But I will." He reassures me and kisses me again.

We kiss.

Again.

Again.

And again.

*When I was writing this part, my sister made this exactly same question. If you're curious of the answer, that is: pandas. Pandas may appear to be very friendly and cute but, like Grizzly bears, they are actually one of the more aggressive bear species when provoked. They are very territorial animals. Most aggressive encounters occur during the mating season. (by Google)

** See here that Sasuke is actually expressing and basing his opinion on a traumatic personal experience, what may or may not be true. It's easy and common we do that.

*** Try to guess who's Sasuke's friend. Hint: it's a girl.

**AN: That was a really long and complicated chapter. I hope it didn't leave the impression of things happening too fast. Some time went by on it, but I didn't want to make this passage too long.**

**I was going to update this morning 'cause I had written most part of it yesterday's night, but my mother kept asking me to do all kind of things for New Year's Eve at home, so I didn't have much time to write during the day. **

**Well, it's almost 2013, so Happy New Year. I hope 2013 be a great year for you, that you can be happy and have your dreams and desires come true. I hope you can be yourself. I hope you can be with who you care. I hope you find love, happiness, hope, fun, peace, money, friends, family, and fan fictions. **

**See you next year ;D**

**Review and I'll write more :D**


	7. I wish I could hold your hand

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

Chapter 7 – I wish I could hold your hand

Naruto's point of view

I wonder if I'm being mean to him. I wonder how long I will be able to fool myself, or him. Truth be told, I'm in denial, that's as far as I can acknowledge. What I can't acknowledge is the fact that Sasuke is a boy like me.

The first time we really kissed, I could only close my eyes and pretend I was a girl, a real girl. I enjoyed the kiss, not that it was especially good, it was actually very bad, but I enjoyed his inexperience, the passive control I had over him. He did everything I asked until I was satisfied.

I can't deny it was the best part of the kiss. It's exactly same reason I _love_ being the catcher in baseball: the control you have over the game, over everyone else, how you make them do as _you_ want and _you _think it's the best for the team. It's the passive control I love the most and that kiss…

I loved how Sasuke dominated the kiss obeying me, doing as I pleased. I lost myself for that moment… until he closed the distance between us crushing the sweet lie I told myself. I couldn't pretend I was still a girl.

I felt the reality crashing with me, making me feel disgusted, nauseous, guilty and dizzy. I threw up that night, denying to myself that only one kiss had shaken me off. Not because of the kiss, or the person oneself, but because of myself and the realization that maybe, just maybe, I am what I can't be.

Our second and last kiss was different. I wanted it, only I didn't find a reason strong enough to act on my feelings, and horribly confessing, dressing him as a girl was the reason I needed. What now? I like him, I truly like him. He makes me feel happy, he doesn't judge me and I can't deny he's attractive and kind of cute. It is fine to admit that, right?

Oh God, I'm a disaster now.

I hate myself for having these half-assed feelings, for not being brave enough, for… for deceiving Sasuke to a point and deceiving myself. But I can't. I need time, yeah, I need time to accept all these things happening to me.

Just a little longer until I can…

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

"We should have come here ages ago." Shikamaru says leaning on the oak tree, closing his eyes with his hands on top on his head. Chouji agrees with him, sitting beside the lazy brunette with a pack of chips in hands. Typical.

"I have to agree with Shika this time, dude." Kiba says throwing his arm around my shoulders. "I like this place much better than the cafeteria. We should've known your little boyfriend over there would find a nice place for you, figured why you took so long to come back to your friends." He feigns hurt, so I roll my eyes at his drama. As if I could have come back to them that easily. Wait, my WHAT?!

I shove Kiba away playfully. "Bastard is not my boyfriend, dog-boy." I protest, but then said bastard decides to meddle, hugging me from behind, making me shudder and freeze in place.

"You don't need to deny us, _babe_." Sasuke says smugly with a hint of amusement. "The mutt is only jealous you chose me over him." He smirks at Kiba for what I see by the corner of my eye. _What the hell?_

"Don't get cocky, Uchiha, we both know deep inside Naruto loves me more." Kiba comes close to me and pinches both my cheeks with a stupid grin. "Isn't it right, sweetheart?"

I shove him off again and free myself from Sasuke's arms. "What the fuck, guys?" I glare at them, but it's useless as Kiba is laughing his heart out and Sasuke is smirking at me.

"You should relax more, moron." Sasuke whispers to me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

I sigh.

"Hey, where are the girls? I thought they would come too." Though it's still awkward to be around Sakura and we mostly don't talk to each other, she doesn't get bothered or uncomfortable with my presence like I thought she would, and Ino, well, Ino is her shadow now.

"Said something about extra classes." Shikamaru mumbles lazily, getting few chips from Chouji. "Oh…" he sits up, what makes me frown at the unusual display of action along with the smirk he has on his face. "…I've heard your cousin is visiting."

I growl in self-misery "Don't get your hopes up, Shika. Temari wouldn't come all the way to Konoha just to see your lazy ass."

"Temari?" Sasuke asks in doubt and curiosity.

Before I can answer him, Kiba cuts me. "Oh Sasuke, you should meet all his cousins because, dude, they are hot."

"Kiba…" I warn him to no avail.

"I'm serious, man. Actually you should meet this guy's whole family because all, and I mean ALL of the women in his family are hot, even his mo-"

"KIBA!" I launch myself on the dog-boy choking him so he stops talking. He chokes on his chuckle wrestling with me on the grass.

"Fine, fine, I give up!" we stop, breathing harshly and laughing. "Damn it, Naruto, it was just a comment."

"Shut up dog-boy. We don't comment how _your_ family is hot and wow if you ask me about your sister."

"Naruto is right, we don't talk about your sister… not close to you, at least." Chouji remarks gaining a glare from Kiba.

"And we do have _a lot_ to comment." Shikamaru states to infuriate the brunette even further. Ha! Sweet karma for you, doggie. "It's a wonder you guys are related, ah Hana..." Give it to Shikamaru to _not_ being lazy when it comes to talking about girls.

Kiba's face is priceless. "Lalala can't hear you! Lalala!" he closes his eyes and presses his hands on his ears. "Lalala, enough talking about my sister!" He fumes making us laugh. "Alright, alright, hey talking about relatives, what about you, Sasuke? Don't you have any hot cousin or a sister?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes. I admit I'm also a bit curious to know a bit more about his family. I know he has a bunch of relatives and a brother, but that's all. "Go back to you kennel, mutt, I'm telling you nothing." He glances superiorly at Kiba with that smirk and arched eyebrow. I'm happy Sasuke is getting along with my friends and vice-versa, but it makes me jealous somehow.

"Oh come on. I bet you have one cute cousin, at least." Kiba says throwing his arms around Sasuke, gaining a frown.

"Why?" Sasuke asks while I get near them.

I don't like when Kiba touches Sasuke's pale face. "Oh come on, look at this pretty face, I bet these good looks run on your family." Sasuke soon slaps the hand off, shaking his head, and sighs. I feel my eyebrow knit together. "What? It's the truth, I can't deny it!"

_I know it' true, but I saw his pretty face first, mutt. _"Really Kiba, stop being gay for Sasuke." I roll my eyes, chuckling at his shocked expression.

"Oh don't be jealous, sunshine." Kiba approaches me wrapping his arms around my waist, _don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me, God I hate being short. _"You're still cuter, babe." He leans forward and _fucking kisses my cheek!_

I shove Kiba off me for the second time, only now with much more force, enough to make him lose balance and fall on the grass. I clean his drool on my cheek with the sleeves unable to make other face but disgusted. "Geez, that's fucking _gross_! What the hell is wrong with you? That was fucking gay!" I glare at him, not daring to look at Sasuke's face for a reason I don't want to acknowledge.

"Oh come on, Naruto, that was just a joke, no need to get all prissy about it, you ass."

We argue, but I don't know what I'm saying or what Kiba is retorting, just that it pisses me off. Soon we're throwing punches at each other. Things happen too fast. Things happen in slow motion.

I try to break free from Sasuke's grip, but he doesn't move an inch. Chouji is holding a furious Kiba, who's still screaming insults, which I reply the same way. I listen Sasuke saying something, but it' still vague.

"Fucking calm down, you idiot!"

I feel my body numb, my face is hurting and I can taste blood. Far in my mind I thank no teacher caught us or we would be screwed. Slowly Sasuke lets me, still saying calming threatening words. I'm breathless and so is Kiba, but our icy eyes can't avoid the other, not even for a second.

"You know Naruto, you used to be cool, but you changed. You started hanging out with those assholes and we followed you because we liked you, and you weren't like them… but I don't know where the cool Naruto is, the one who was my friend. I can't see him in you, I can only see a fucking jerk. You're fucking pathetic right now." He wipes the sweat and blood with his shirt and leaves, Shikamaru and Chouji right behind him, looking at me and shaking their heads in disapproval.

I feel a knot in my throat, breathing shallowly, and I think that if Sasuke wasn't right by my side, I would have fallen with my face straight to the grass. "Come on, moron, let's go to the nursery and clean you up." Sasuke says calmly, dragging me by the arm.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

I hiss when Sasuke press a cotton of alcohol on my split eyebrow, it burns. I glare at him when he calls me a pussy and pout. "I'm not a pussy, it burns when you do it and you're not even gentle."

"Shut up , moron. You weren't complaining of pain when you decided that fighting was a smart argument."

"That's different, I had adrenaline running in my veins, it blocks the pain."

"No, it doesn't, moron. Nothing 'blocks' the pain, and it's endorphin that gives the impression that the pain is not as… _painful_ as it is. Now stop whining like a little child."

I pout and let Sasuke continue with his torture, _tsch, sadistic bastard can't even hold this damn smirk of his._ He's enjoying my suffering, God, it hurts too much when he touches my right cheek and every time I blink, oh no, I bet it's all swollen and black and awful.

"You're making faces, Naruto." He sighs, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "It's not that bad, but I doubt your make-up will cover it. How stupid can you be for that, Naruto?"

"Hey, it wasn't my- ouch!" I lower my voice, trying to talk without moving my face, what proves to be difficult. "It was Kiba who started." I'm not being childish, it's the truth!

"How old are you? Have you ever heard that when one doesn't want, two don't do?"

_Have you ever heard of rape? _"I thought you were on my side, bastard." I mumble holding the pack of ice Sasuke handed me on my cheek.

"I'm not at anyone's side. I think both of you are stupid." I keep glaring at him until he settles a hand on my shoulder. "Listen, moron, I don't know you for a long time despite knowing a lot those guys don't. And I don't know them for more than a few weeks, but for what I could see and already mentioned with you, they _are _your friends. I don't believe that pitiful display you and Kiba performed was only because of that kiss, so you should talk to him and solve things." He says seriously, making me guilty for overreacting.

"Sorry." I mutter sincerely "I didn't mean to overreact, it was stupid." I sigh. "Are you happy now?"

"Well, I appreciate your apology, but it isn't me whose nose is broken."

"My nose is not- Fuck! Really?" He nods confirming I had indeed broken my best friend's nose. "Ah, do you think he's mad at me?"

"Of course he's mad at you, moron. But it's not by sitting here or huffing that you will make him less mad. I said already, go talk to him. But first let him calm down."

I nod, looking down. "Yeah… Thanks, Sasuke."

He takes the ice pack off my hands and touches my numb cheek. "It's fine, I figured you wouldn't be yourself without fear from night to day, it takes longer, but I must say it surprised me you not hanging with those huge guys with no brains, it was already a big step." He smiles at me, caressing my face. "I'm by your side, moron… I said I like you, didn't I?"

I nod and breathe deeply. "Didn't you love me?" I smirk, mocking him to deal with the situation.

He blushes and looks away like the way I thought he would. "It was… a slip of my tongue." He mumbles embarrassed and I can't help but make fun of him.

"Oh really? And the 'don't kiss me if you'll break my heart' was a slip too?" I smirk widely.

Sasuke grunts, getting more and more embarrassed, and more and more red in the face, I can't deny he looks cute. "Fine, it was lame, I admit it. Shit when I think about it, it was… argh, I can't believe I said that."

"Yet you did." I sing song. "Seriously, it was so Mary Anne and the Black Sheep*"

Sasuke glares, then frowns and smirks at last "And how would you know that, moron?"

I gulp, having confessed another secret unintentionally. _Damn you Mary Anne,_ oh great, why don't you talk about the clothes and make-up, wait, you already did it! What about a tea party now? I growl at myself as Sasuke laughs wholeheartedly and it's _my_ time to blush.

"We should watch it together the next time I go to your house, moron." He winks at me and I must be insane for thinking it's sexy a guy inviting me to watch soap opera. Oh Sasuke, Sasuke, you will end me if you keep acting so cutely.

"Sure, bastard. Now we should head back to class, we're kind of late." I laugh scratching the back of my neck in silent apology.

"Nah, don't worry. Shikamaru texted me saying he told the teacher you weren't feeling good, so no worries, besides, how would you explain all these bruises, moron?"

I shrug "I would have thought of something. What about Kiba?"

Sasuke hesitates a bit. "Shikamaru and Chouji took him to the hospital because of his nose."

"Oh." I feel bad, guilty, and lately I feel like this way too often.

"Go to the gates, Naruto. I'll get to our stuff and we head to your house."

I nod and we walk out of the nursery. It's amazing how Sasuke always know what to do.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

It's finally the weekend and my bruises are gone thanks to my super-fast healing, but despite this fact, here I am, standing alone on Konoha's airport, waiting for my _beloved _cousin to arrive. I think she got lost because the airplane landed an hour ago and her cell phone is off!

"Naruto!" I look around to find the person who's calling my name, and do find a redhead woman waving in my direction.

"Hey mom."

"Aw hey sunshine!" she hugs me like she hadn't see me for ages, what might be true if you ask me. "It feels so long since the last time we actually spent time together! Mommy is so sorry, honey." I love my mom, more than I can measure, but does she _really_ have to treat me like a baby?

"Mom, you're crushing me." I say it, but I admit it's nice to have my mom hug me like this, just… not in public, it's embarrassing.

"Oops, sorry Naru." she laughs and scratches the back of her neck with the mischievous smile I inherited. "So, where's she?"

"No idea, the plane landed an hour ago, so I don't know if she's still looking for her bag or if she got lost." I inform her, but then. "Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you had work until later."

"I had, but I took the weekend off to greet my niece…" Oh thanks for the consideration, mom. "…and of course…" she smiles at me, running her finger through my blond locks. "…to spend time with my favorite son."

"I'm your only son, mom." I smile back nonetheless. I wonder how long it was since the last time I spent a considerable amount of time with my mother. Probably way too long.

"But you're still my favorite, sunshine."

We are interrupted by my cellphone ringing, oh great, she turned on her phone.

"Hey, where are you?/ Tsk, whatever… yeah I'm waiting for a while, like _an hour!_/ What?! What are you-?/ Fine, fine, we're going there/ Bye." I turn to my mom. "She said she's in central cafeteria _drinking tea._"

"Oh that's good, I'm a bit hungry too, let's go honey, mommy will buy you something too, you're too thin, have you been eating?"

A part of me wants to blame her for that, but I can't. I honestly can't. "I have mom, with vegetable and all."

"Really?" she gasps in exaggerated shock.

"Yeah, last week I ate a carrot!"

"Oh mommy is so proud of you, Naru."

I walk with my mom talking animatedly about everything and anything. I think I missed these moments more than I thought I did, it feels refreshing talking with my mother about school, about baseball, about ramen and even about Sakura.

"I see. Nah it's fine, I always thought you weren't very happy with that girl. I liked her and all, but there was something missing in that relationship of yours… Hm I don't know, it was way too perfect, no real relationship is like that. But ah, don't worry about it, honey, you'll find someone else."

I smile and nod, thinking that maybe, only maybe I already did. And again those weird things in my stomach: fear, anxiety, guilty.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

It's very easy to spot my cousin as she's the only redhead woman besides my mother in the entire place and believe it: red is not a color you can't see, unless you're colorblind that is.

She's with more three guys for what I can see and one looks like a certain bastard I have spent most of my time with. As we get near them, my first assumption is confirmed by the unique duck's butt hair style, who's yet to see me.

"AUNTY!" Karin screams throwing herself at my mother's arms and getting the attention of the other three guys.

It's a bit awkward when Sasuke finally sees me, smiling and blushing a bit. Why is he… oh yeah, my mom, as a guy, I can understand his feelings.

"KARIN! Oh my God, you grew up so much! Look at you, you're so pretty!" My mother and Karin exchange the usual aunty-niece greeting while I walk to Sasuke, burying my hands inside my pockets and fighting the blush on my face.

"Hm, hey." It sounds more pitched than I intended, but I can't help it when there are two guys that I don't know looking at me curiously.

"Hey." Sasuke tells me, standing up from his chair. "Eh, I really should have imagined Karin was your cousin."

"Hm, yeah, she is." I look back at those two still talking and hugging for a moment. "Well, we do have the same surname."

Sasuke clears his throat "Yeah, and same loudness, and stupidity, I really should have known."

I frown at him from the usual offense "Bastard. Wait, how the hell do _you_ know my cousin?"

"Eh, it's a bit of a long story, you better ask her, but in resume: we met in Otogakure." He says briefly, but something says there's much more to it than he's letting on, what bothers me.

"Oh, I see. I didn't know you had lived in Oto."

"It was few years ago. I met those guys there too." He points at them, making them stand up and come talk to us. "Naruto, these are Suigetsu and Juugo. Guys, Naruto."

We exchange a brief 'nice to meet you'

"Hey, aren't you on school's baseball team?" The shortest with dyed white and blue hair, Suigestu, asks me. And now that I think about it, these guys look familiar.

"Yeah, the catcher." I think I saw them before at school.

"Ha! I knew I saw you before, good defenses by the way, you're the guy our little Sasu is hanging out!" He points at me, but what makes me laugh wholeheartedly is the venous glance Sasuke gives him by 'little Sasu'.

"Thanks, yeah, I guess that's me, right little Sasu." This guy reminds me of Kiba, or maybe of myself to a point, I like him. Sasuke rolls his eye at me muttering something like 'I knew it' "So, you guys are third years, right?"

"Yeah, the worst year of my life. I had to quit kendo to not fail, Juugo here is still captain of basketball team, but he doesn't count." The guy behind him smiles and nods, giving me a calm sensation despite his size. Now thinking about it, it's common for third years to quit any club activities because of the exams and the pressure of school, it's the best school of here after all. How come I got into this school again? Oh right, I used to be smart.

When I open my mouth…"NA-RU-TO!" I freeze and very, very slowly turn to face my two favorite redheads, one, aka my mom, laughing and the other, aka my cousin, fuming. "How _dare you!_ How dare you talk to them before you talk to _me!"_

"Bu-but you were talking to my mom!" I try to reason, knowing I should have kept quiet.

Karin fumes in my direction, pulling me into her arms opposed to my expectations. "Suigetsu! It is all your fault!" Said boy tries to defend himself uselessly. "And what the hell were you telling to _my innocent Naru?_" There she goes with embarrassing me in front of people I barely know.

"Karin…" I call her. "We were just talking, leave the guy alone."

"And _you!"_ She lets me go, but still holds me by my shoulders. "You still didn't greet me properly! And how is that you're taller than me?!"

I laugh and hug her, really, she never changes. "I missed you 'Rin."

She hugs me back with a strength only the women _I_ know have. "Aww, I missed you too, Naru! It's so good to see you!"

"Yeah, and you should have told me you knew Sasuke, I wouldn't have waited an hour on my own." I pout at her making her smile _sweetly_ at me.

"Wait." She tilts her head to the raven bastard. "Do you have friends beside us?"

"Yeah! I was surprised too. Besides, this cousin of yours is not even a psycho like that other one." Suigetsu says earning a hit from Sasuke.

I look at Karin. "Gaara?" and she simply nods with a roll of eyes. "Come on, guys, I didn't know the bastard had any friends beside _me!" _Sasuke grunts while the others laugh agreeing with my point.

"Naruto." My mother taps my shoulder making me and Karin turn to face her. "I know you both want to talk with your friends, but can we sit and eat something, honey? Mommy can sit on her own if you want."

Before I can say anything, Karin beats me. "Nah, don't be silly aunty. Come on, let me introduce you to the guys."

Mom looks at me as if she asking if it's okay and I grin. "Yeah, I'm hungry too, mom! And they're cool, so don't worry." She hands me some money so I can buy us some snacks and goes with Karin.

I take pleasure in Sasuke's horror when he greets my mother with exaggerated politeness, blushing and avoiding his eyes. Karin, Suigetsu and Juugo look surprise by the display and people behind me may think I'm crazy for laughing out loud alone.

We all lose track of time while chatting and eating in the airport's cafeteria. Karin and mom insist on humiliating me with childhood stories, though I get to know more about Sasuke and his friends. I find out Suigetsu is actually a big geek and Juugo is that very quiet, mature kind of guy. They're cool.

I get a strange feeling in my chest to see Sasuke with his friends. Thoughts like 'they know him more than I do', 'Sasuke lets them get near him without problem' and 'they have memories I'll never be part' keep floating in my mind. I don't know Sasuke for more than two months, we talk and go out, but I still know almost nothing about him, and these people… they do. I don't like it. Why?

"… and then there was that time Naru tried to get the cookies' jar on his own. He was around 6 and really short, so he decided to climb the chair and then the fridge." Everyone has their eyes on my mother, listening attentively to the story I know too well. "Of course it didn't occur to my baby that by pulling the fridge's door, well, it opens! The most incredible was that he didn't fall on his head like many people think he did…"

"Mom." I grunt feeling my face in flames.

"…No, he didn't fall, but he stayed there, holding the fridge's door and swinging from side to side." She laughs. "And I still don't know how, but when the chair fell, it took his pants along with it!" I grunt more when all of them laugh. "Imagine my surprise when I walked into the kitchen and found my son swinging on the fridge butt-naked!" They laugh even harder. "And as the great parent I am, I took a picture of it! Oh you boys should see it, it's so cute." She finishes and I can die already, thanks mom.

**~(Line Breaker)~ **

Walking through airports always give me that anxiety feeling, maybe it's the changing aura it has, of things always moving too fast and people going and coming, but I like it.

My mother and Karin are walking in the lead with few handbags, while Suigetsu and Juugo are on their tracks with a heavy bag each. Sasuke and I are slowly following them, taking our time to actually talk to each other.

"Your face has really healed." He tells me absentmindedly.

"I told you I heal fast."

"Hn. You still didn't talk to Kiba, did you?" his voice is soft, not accusing.

"No." I admit. "I'll talk to him on Monday, promise."

"Hn." I feel like there's something bothering him. Yes, he's quiet, but not _that_ quiet, like he…

"Bastard, is there something you want to say?"

He sighs, brushing his hand to mine. If only I was _her_, I could hold his hand. I can't. "It's nothing, really. I just… with Karin here, I guess we won't go to the park." He confesses.

I smile. "We could go with her."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be the same. What I meant to say is for the whole week Karin is here, we won't have _our_ time and I won't see _her."_

I fidget with my pants and breathe "I actually intend to tell Karin… about _her_. I mean, she is like a sister to me and she used to treat me as her doll when we were kids, so I want to tell her. I _need_ to tell her." So she can help me figure out what I want, what to do.

"I see." We stop facing each other, ignoring the four other people getting more and more distant from us.

"I thought you would be happier about it." It makes me uneasy that he's not supporting it, like he thinks it's a bad idea. I thought he would say it was a good beginning and encourage me.

"That's not it, I'm happy you decided to tell someone, it's just…" he bites his lip hesitantly. "…I wanted to be the only one knowing about your secret." He starts walking again, looking at the floor as I follow him. "I know it's silly and you can laugh of me and make another 'Mary Anne' joke if you want. It's lame, but being the only one to know makes me feel special to you."

I want to laugh at his blush, at his totally lame confession, but I can't. My heart beats faster, my face is hot and an insistent smile keeps tugging on my lips. "You are special to me."

His eyes are a bit widened and he looks genuinely surprised. "Am I?"

I blush and stutter like a little virgin girl, _awesome_ "Well, we are ki-kind of going o-out, aren't we?"

It's the first time I see him grinning like this. It's so beautiful. His deep dark eyes are shining in joy, his teeth unsure if grinning or biting his lower lip. "We are." He says dreamily, what's really, really cute.

We exchange brief brushes of our fingers discretely. A part of me feels like an idiot, another feels happy and the last part feels like I'm in girl's clothes. It's easier like this, because if I were in a skirt, holding hands would be acceptable.

I just hope I'm not swinging my hips.

*I have no idea if this exists (I hope not), but it sounds like a good name for a lame, romantic soap opera.

**Wow, it's been a while, (two weeks!) sorry for that. I had a little bit of an author's block with this chapter, specially the beginning, and I can't write if I don't like the beginning. Anyway, I thank the new readers for… reading and especially my dear Yue (cheers for her) who I know had a significant part of divulging my story. Thanks friend! **

**The truth is that I planned to end this chapter much further in the story, but I couldn't, and I didn't want to take even more days so I decided to let for the next chapter, which I hope will come quickly. **

**That's it, I hope you liked it despite all the characters in it instead of only Naruto and Sasuke (it was a bit hell for me, but it's important for the story.)**

**Please review and thanks :D**


	8. I just want to feel pretty

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

Chapter 8 – I just want to feel pretty

Naruto's point of view

After arguing with my mother that Karin should stay in _her_ bedroom instead of mine, I finally can rest in my bed.

"Hey, what are you doing in bed, lazy ass?"

I grunt at my cousin's voice. Really? She already got what she wanted, what else does she want me to do? I helped her with _all_ her luggage, took all _my_ things off place to fit hers, almost died of heart attack every time she got anywhere near _my_ boxes and now she asks what I am doing in _ my bed!_ And says that I'm _lazy!_

"Shut up, Karin, I'm tired." I mumble into my pillow

"Tired of what? You barely did a thing."

I glare at her, but she only puts her hand on her hip and fixes her glasses. I give up. "What do you want now?"

She sits on the bed and pouts "Aw, is that how you treat your favorite cousin, Naruto? I'm wounded."

I roll my eyes and sit, looking at her apparent innocent look with suspicious, what does she want batting her eyelashes at me? Then it hits me. Ah no! "You want the bed, don't you?"

Karin quickly smiles, putting up an 'adorable' face. "Pretty please, Naru?"

It's not the adorableness of her look that convinces me, it's the silent threat that lingers on the air if I don't do as she pleases. I know I'll have to suffer severe consequences if I don't give up my bed and get the extra mattress where _she_ was supposed to sleep.

_I hope she's happy now, spoiled bitch._

XxX

I eat three times the amount of food I usually have for dinner. Since mother is at home and not insanely busy, she can actually cook for a change, and I must say she's the best cook in the whole world.

The three of us talk in the small kitchen. Karin tells us about granny Mito, whom she lives with, about uncle Nagato, her father, about her senior year at school, about the friends she made in Oto and even about Sasuke. It bothers me a bit the way she talks about him, as if…

"…Of course Suigetsu _had_ to mess up, that idiot, lucky we had Sasuke with us…"

The mention of his name makes me feel warm inside and mother to say how a good boy he looks, bringing butterflies to my stomach. I must confess that, compared to Karin, we don't have much to tell. Despite it, mom talks nonstop how she's proud of me and how she wishes she could spend more time together, how I can cook on my own and look after myself, as if I was a little child. I think it's nice.

I don't even notice how late it is until my body reacts, yawning tiredly.

"I think it's bed time for both of you." Mother says kindly, smiling at me and making me notice the wrinkles I didn't remember she had. "I know it's Saturday, but you both had a busy day so go brush your teeth, get a blanket and sweet dreams." She reminds like she did when Karin and I were kids.

I protest to help her clean the kitchen but she dismisses us both with an order and a kiss.

"Good night mom."

XxX

"Say, Naru…" Karin says under her blanket in _my_ bed. "…what did you want to tell me?"

I sigh, rolling to my side to face her – actually the bed she's in – anyway, I should have known Karin wouldn't waste time to ask that.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow? I want to sleep now." I try watching her sit up in bed with crossed legs, hugging the pillow.

"Naruto!" she protests, getting her glasses on the nightstand. "How… How can you… argh! Really, you almost _killed_ me of worry and now that I'm _here_, you don't want to talk… I-I argh that's so… You WILL talk!" She points at me angrily.

I blink at her reaction and feel an uncontrollable urge to laugh.

I do.

"That's not funny, Naruto!" she whines.

I laugh even harder at her pissed face, that until she throws me a pillow right on my head. How can she hurt me with a pillow?! "Fine, fine, we talk then!" I sit on the mattress leaning on my hands behind my body.

We keep in silence as I force myself to calm down, repeating 'I must do it' and 'I'll be fine' in my mind. It's easier said than done.

"So?" she motions for me to talk.

I take a deep breath and swallow, feeling my heartbeat increase. "I have to tell you a thing…" Shit, it's hard.

"Yeah…?"

"I-I… hm, I…"

"Naruto, say already." She presses me impatient, fixing her glasses.

"Eh, I broke up with Sakura." I tell her under pressure, mentally scolding myself for being a scared kit.

Karin stares at me for a long time, mouth agape. "Eh… I know that already, I saw on your facebook."

I cough awkwardly. "Oh, I see. Then that's it, good night." I say quickly forcing a smile.

As expected, she doesn't buy it, but she's calmer than I thought she would be, using a soft voice. "Little cousin, two months ago you called me crying and desperate…" I nod with closed eyes. "…you said we needed to talk face to face because of something terrible you have done and wanted to stop…"

I sigh, looking at her in the semidarkness of my bedroom.

Two months ago was when Sasuke took me to that first date of ours. I was desperate for more reasons than I could count, wanting to stop him from coming closer to me and called my cousin out of despair, not counting on the fact I would calm down and think about the situation differently, ending up getting attached to Sasuke.

"…you wouldn't need me to come all the way here because of a girl you never loved, Naruto. So, please, just tell me what's wrong."

"I can't really fool you, can I?" I make a small smile at her.

"You and Gaara are too easy to read, foolish." She smiles back and I sigh once again. "Won't you tell me, Naru? I still can't read minds."

I open my mouth but again it lacks me words as I never told anyone about it, even with Sasuke, he found out on his own so how – wait! I can't say it, but I can show her… I guess.

"Karin, I'll show you my deepest secret. One I never intended to tell…" I warn her seriously. "… so please don't make fun of me." I plead.

I walk to my wardrobe with trembling legs and hands. She says nothing, just stares while I open the boxes unable to breathe.

"These… these are all mine… for myself."

I see her nodding her head in thought. "You wear them?" She asks/ concludes.

"Som-sometimes yes." I hold my breath when silence rings.

…

"I see." She nods her head in understatement, her voice neutral "I can't say I'm in shock… Since we were kids, you liked girl's things the most, so…" she frowns and asks in calm, soft voice. "Naru, does it have something to do with… your father?"

I sigh and nod, biting my lower lip.

"I thought so." She looks at me with a serious expression. "Not wanting to be mean, but you were very girly when we were kids… and when you father left, you changed. I know what's like… being abandoned by a parent, it changes us… but I suspected there was something to do with it."

I sigh. "Was I really that girly? I thought I hid it even when I was small."

She smiles. "_Yeah sure, Naru._ Did you forget the Christmas on granny's house?"

I force my memory on this only Christmas we spent all together. I frown in thought, few flashes coming in mind. "Hmm, I remember you and Temari playing… Sasori and Kankuro fighting like always… hm, I remember Gaara in aunty Karura's arms… What else? Eh, I remember your mother there too and hmm, I guess it was when my dad gave me a helicopter and played with it more than me. And that's it, few flashes, why?"

"Hm, I see. I guess you locked this memory then."_ Huh? What memory?_ Before I can ask, she talks again. "I don't remember my mother there, I actually don't remember her at all when I was a child. Anyway… you know Temari and I always teased and used you as our baby doll since you were the youngest, right."

I nod and roll my eyes. "Yeah, I was your baby and when Gaara could play, he was Temari's."

"Exactly… well, that day granny gave us a make-up kit and we ended up using on you, not that you protested, you asked for it even and we didn't think we were doing anything wrong, it was fun and we were all happy, but…"

"Yeah I can imagine, God, I have no memory of it" I whisper

She bits her lower lip "It was Christmas so everyone laughed and complimented us. Then…"

"Then…?"

"Your father didn't like it one bit." That's expected. "He scolded us for doing that to you. I didn't know he could be scary." You have no idea. "He took you to a bedroom and I followed even knowing that I shouldn't." But why can't I remember? "He didn't beat you, but he threatened to kill you if you let someone did that to you again. I think that's why you can't remember." It makes sense.

"I see." We both avoid talking about our missing parents, but it's time to face it. "Rin, don't you sometimes miss your mother?"

She frowns. "I hate her." She spits.

"How?" Because no matter how hard I try, I can't hate my father.

"I guess I have enough reasons." She says coldly, but her arms are hugging her tighter.

"I know, but how can you hate her? Don't you- don't you miss her? I-I can't understand, I can't, I can't hate my dad." I'm being totally honest with her, with myself, no more secrets.

"Konan ceased being my mother the moment she decided to leave." Because of the weakness in my cousin's voice, I walk to the bed and sit beside her.

We never talk about it because it hurts, because it's hard.

"But don't you miss her?" I ask her softly getting no response, just her looking at nothingness and then…

"I do." She whispers, voice thick with emotion. "And I hate her!" she confesses through silent tears. "I hate her for leaving, for never being a mother to me, for not caring about her only child, for cheating on my dad with that fucking jerk he called friend. I hate her for ruining my dad, and I hate her for ruining me!" I hold her and let her cry in my chest for a while, feeling a lump in my throat, helplessly attempting to comfort her. "Sorry." She whines, wiping the tears on her cheeks and cleaning the glasses.

"It's fine. I'm happy we're talking, cousin." I kiss the top of her head. "I thought we had lost this connection, but I'm happy we didn't. I know it's hard but I'm happy you trust me to talk about your mother."

She smiles at me, brushing the hair out of my eyes. "Silly, we're in the same boat aren't we? I'm a bit happy we can talk about it." She nuzzles her nose to mine making me chuckle. "So now pretty boy, what's going on all these years we were disconnected?"

I breathe out, brave to tell her everything and even when the tears appear, I let them roll freely and continue telling her about everything: about my father, about my clothes, about my doubts, about my fears, everything but Sasuke.

"Naruto, do you think you have GID?"

"I have _what?!"_ she rolls her eyes like I was supposed to know!

"Gender identity disorder." She explains as it was obvious and oh of course now I know what it is. To my dumbfounded expression she rolls her eyes again and explains. "It's a bit complicated, but in resume, it's when you don't feel comfortable with your own gender, not like oh I wish I were a girl, but for what I know, people with this condition mostly hate being born the gender they are, sometimes surgery happens."

"Sounds like a disease." I say wrinkling my nose.

Karin blushes realizing what she just said might be misunderstood "It's not! It's just… are you transgender or not? It's not a disease or wrong, it's just a term. Naruto, have you ever thought of becoming a girl?"

"No, I like being a boy!" Why wouldn't I? "Yeah, sometimes I think that if I were born a girl, then I could be myself easily and that it wouldn't be wrong, but I don't have any wish to take off…" I hiss. "Oh God, just the thought of it is horrible."

"Hm, that's interesting. So you're not transgender, just… a cross-dresser?"

I feel my face burning to her bluntness. This is a bit awkward but still better than I thought. "I guess." I say nervously. "I have thought about it for a while." I made research when I started dressing, but it was so embarrassing and I didn't identify much with what I found. "I don't know how to say it, but I feel like I have two lives. I like being a boy, I love baseball and I don't want to act… feminine when I'm…"

"When you're not her, let's say." Karin elaborates for me.

"Yeah, it's like she's someone else, but at the same time it's still me. When I'm her, I _want_ to be feminine; I want to dress-up and wear make-up and do all sort of girly things." It comes easier for me to talk when I start. I've heard before, but it's hard for me to stop talking when I start. "I don't understand it very well. Do you think I have a double personality?"

"No, I don't think you do and the right term is Dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder. If you had another personality you probably wouldn't remember your actions or wouldn't be in control of them, so no, you don't have it."

"Oh." I say dumbly "Karin, how the hell do you this stuff? I didn't know you wanted to be a doctor or something."

"I don't. I want to be a psychologist, and I have this hobby of searching this kind of thing." She explains fixing her glasses out of habit.

"That's cool." I feel relaxed, like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. "So Miss Karin, what's your diagnostic for me? What's wrong with me?"

She smiles and hits my arm playfully. "There's nothing wrong with you, stupid. This is who you are. You were born this way. It's like saying that it's wrong to be shy or loud. It may give you problem and a difficult time, but it's still part of you, it's simply who you are and _you_ have to accept it little cousin."

I look at my lap. "It's not that easy."

"Nah, we're Uzumaki, stupid. We rule the world! We can do anything we want!" she throws her fist into the air making me laugh.

We talk some more and Karin convinces me to dress up for her. It's very embarrassing and awkward but at least she has a good taste and actually helps me choose a nice outfit after I lock the door.

"Aw, you look cute like that." She squeals.

"Karin! Keep it down!" I blush profoundly.

"Sorry… But you know it's kind of funny how good you look. I _know_ you are a boy and I can even see it when I try really, really hard, but how can I say it? It fits you. You look happy."

I smile at her "Thanks."

"I'm kind of jealous of you now." She laughs.

After a lot of 'girl's talk' about make-up, clothes, hair, etc, Karin asks me about sexuality. It's a moment I feel more or less comfortable to talk about something that has been haunting me for a long time.

"It's hard for me to say it… My father always taught me liking guys was so wrong and I would be punished for it that I never allowed myself to even look at other guys in a different way." I sigh "What I know now is that I could never…" I remain in silence looking at nothing to gather courage "I could never love a woman the same way I could love a man." I feel numb.

Karin pats my head "I'm proud of you for confessing something so personal honestly, Naru." She looks at my ceiling. "I know your dad made a huge impact on your life, he's you father after all, and I know how you feel for not being how he wanted you to be." She looks back at me "But Naruto, you are you and only _you_ can change yourself. I won't say you're perfect, but don't we all have flaws? And believe me, being gay is not one."

I feel numb, but in a good way, like I'm as light as a leaf. "Yeah, thanks."

"So… does Sasuke know about you?" Bull's eye, what the hell?

"Wh-why would he know?" _He knows! She knows he knows! Shit!_

"I don't know. It's just a bit weird this sudden friendship between the two of you, it makes me wonder if something happened."

I swallow. "Yeah… Sasuke saw me on the street and well, we became friends… or something." I whisper the last part. "But hey, how did _you_ meet him? I asked Sasuke but he said to ask you."

Karin looks down as if she's contemplating something. "Hm, sounds he gave me the okay then." She says to herself and sighs. "I think it's fine to tell you, but don't you want to change back first, Naru?"

I nod and change myself back to my t-shirt and shorts to get more comfortable while Karin thinks. I know she's preparing herself to talk to me. Talking about her time in Otogakure was never easy for her. "You don't need to talk about _that_ you know."

She nods. "I know, but it wouldn't make sense. Don't worry stupid, I'm over it already." She says it but I know better. Anyway, I don't protest, I just sit beside her and motion for her to elaborate.

"Whe-when my mother left, dad became empty, broken. I hated to see him like that but there was nothing I could do… Moving to Oto was a way to forget everything, to him and to me, but it was worse when we got there. Dad became worse, and I didn't have anyone. I can't blame him on that but I wished… I wished he had thought of me… I was suffering too, God, my mother had left me!" She takes a deep breath, voice thick with emotion.

"You know I never got along with many girls, I just _can't_. Temari was the only girl I could get along and she's the same as me… When I moved to Oto, Suigetsu was the first person I ever talked to" she chuckles quietly. "He reminds me of you in a way, only stupider and more irritating, much more irritating that guy is… and then he introduced me to his friends and the next thing I know I'm the school's whore." Her face darkens. "I didn't do anything with any of the guys, we joked to a limit but that was that, I swear."

"I know Rin. I know it sounds weird, but I wouldn't think of you as a whore even if you have done it. It's your business after all." I tell her honestly even knowing it's a bit more complicated than that.

She smiles "It doesn't make much sense but I appreciate your effort." Karin sighs. "It wasn't easy for me and dad wasn't there. He wouldn't have cared too if I were to sleep with all those guys." She says bitterly. "I couldn't… I couldn't take it anymore, Naru." Her eyes shine in tears and her nails scratches her arms where the scars are still visible.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "It's alright Karin. Everything is fine." She lets the tears fall from her eyes and takes shallow breaths to calm herself down. "You don't have to feel guilty for what you did, cousin. It's fine. You got over it and you're fine." I tell her with sadness, looking at the scars on her arms, holding her hands, unable to say anything else. "You are fine now."

She nods and swallows "Wh-when I was at the ho-hospital, I really didn't want to li-live. I only wanted the pain to stop." She takes a deep breath. "I begged and screamed and tried to run. It was hell. I don't remember things very clear, I just know that I woke up alone and I couldn't feel anything. There were tubes in my arms and my throat hurt."

"I know Rin." I wipe the tears on her cheeks, and offer her a small smile. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you went through hell."

She shakes her head "You were going through your own hell, Naru. You still are."

I avoid my eyes and we both remain in silence for a while "Karin… how did you leave hell?"

It's when she smiles. "I didn't leave on my own. It was actually when I met Sasuke." My heart skips a beat "He helped me a lot."

"How?"

She looks at me with a smirk "By being a bastard." She laughs and so do I. "Sasuke wasn't having it easy by that time too. He doesn't like talking about it but I'll tell you what happened."

"What… happened?" What does she mean?

"You know he has a brother, right?"

"Yeah, Itachi, the evil brother. They're very, very close, aren't they?"

She hums in confirmation. "Sasuke loves his brother very much and so does Itachi." I smile gently. "I don't know the details, but I know they moved to Oto because Itachi needed medical care."

"Wait-What?! Why? What happened?" As far as I know, Itachi is healthy, well, apparently that is.

Karin cleans her glasses on her shirt, not crying anymore. "I don't really know, but Sasuke told me he had been attacked by his teammates. I couldn't leave my room and when I left, Itachi was fine, but he went through a lot."

I never knew that, but I suppose it's fair. I just would like Sasuke were the one to tell me it.

Karin sighs "Now that I think about it, it was rather funny how we met." I look at her. "Sasuke – he got into my room by mistake… it was a time I was trying to escape, trying to, you know… He was in shock and so was I. Then he started screaming at me for being stupid and that I should die faster so people who needed more could take my place."

She laughs with a tint of sadness behind it. "He told me about his brother and I told him everything too. It was the breaking point for me." I caress her arms in support. "He decided he wouldn't let me die and started visiting me every day from then on. He may seem cold, but he's rather sweet." I agree with her. "That was it." She finishes.

She doesn't need to tell the rest of the story. I already know it.

When Karin was hospitalized because of her attempt of suicide, uncle Nagato got into an accident on his way to the hospital. Mother said they told Konan what had happened but she didn't care, this part Karin doesn't have to know ever.

When Uncle got better, he talked to Karin and explained everything, the reason he wasn't there with her and how sorry he was. Granny Mito had gone there to take care of the medical issues and stayed with them for the year. They all went to Uzushiogakure after Karin finished her session with a therapist and fully recovered.

"Karin, do you like Sasuke? I mean, like, _like?" _I ask what I've been thinking for a while, regretting a bit afraid of the answer.

She blushes and I bit my lower lip "Sasuke is very special to me. He saved me and helped me at the hardest moment of my life." The blush deepens as my heart beats faster. "And I can't deny he's handsome and smart and there was a time I thought I was in love with him… but no. I don't like him like that." I breathe in relief. "Why are you asking Naru? Oh!" Her eyes glint with evilness. "Don't tell me you-"

"NO!" I feel my face burning. "He's a friend, just a friend."

Karin pouts. "Don't lie to me Naruto. I saw you guys at the airport and it didn't look like only friends."

_Oh shit._ "I-I… eh…" I stutter and get in panic.

"Aww that's so cute!" she squeals making me grunt "I knew it! I knew it! So, are you guys going out? Really? Cause that's soooo awesome! I knew Sasuke swung the other way!"

I shake my head, calmed down "It's not like this."

"No? Then what?" the hope in her eyes is suffocating.

"It-it's complicated."

"How?" _Damn you woman for meddling!_

"I don't know! Sasuke is… he is… God, I don't fucking know, alright. And that's the fucking problem."

She looks at me with an understanding smile. "You know it's fine if you liked him, right? I promise you that you will not go to hell or to jail or whatever."

I nod. "It's just… I'm scared."

"Of Sasuke not liking you back?"

I sigh. "Of me not liking him enough. I think he deserves more."

"But that's for him to decide, isn't it? Did he tell you something that he might like you, huh?"

I look at my cousin with a smug feeling in my chest reflecting on my lips. "Sasuke confessed to me." The shock on her face is epic.

"HE WHAT?! I- I can't fucking believe it! Oh my God, oh my God! Tell me everything!" she has that maniac smile on her face with her nails digging into my arms.

Karin wants to kill me for a reason when I tell her about the kiss. It's not enough my embarrassment for even admitting it felt good, no, she wants details and then she wants to kill me for no reason! What the hell is you problem, woman?

And now I can't stop laughing.

"You're lying! Sasuke must be the best kisser ever!" she accuses me.

"I'm sorry but he is not! It was his first kiss, Karin, no big deal. He's improving." What am I saying?

"Ha! That's it! You guys have to practice more!"

I laugh and want to die at my cousin's plan of us kissing even more. Okay, maybe, only maybe I wouldn't mind and fine, fine, it wouldn't be bad. Argh, alright damn it, I want it too.

We talk, laugh and argue some more until we're both tired, stomach and cheeks hurting.

"Naru, it's morning already." Karin whines.

I look at my window and watch the sun rising. "Yeah, mom should be waking up soon too."

"Are you going to tell her?" she asks me innocently, making me feel guilty and bad about myself. "I-, sorry Naruto, I didn't mean to."

"It's fine." I sigh. "It's not like I didn't think about it before… I don't know. I really want her to know but what if…" what if she hates me? What if she blames me? What if she leaves me like dad did? What if…? "Do you think I should, Rin?"

She nods her head slowly. "She's your mother after all, but you don't have to force yourself little cousin. You do it when you feel like doing it."

I smile and look at my ceiling. "I feel like doing it now."

Karin blinks at me three times. "Are you sure?"

I chuckle "Yeah. I think… that if I don't do it now I will never do it."

She looks amused. "Well, then go ahead, I'm right by your side, Naru."

xXx

I feel my heart thumping in my chest louder and louder at each step I take in the corridor to my mother's bedroom. Too bad our house is small and the corridor is so short because I feel like I'm not ready anymore. My hands tremble holding the letter I wrote weeks ago in one of the nights I couldn't hide _me_ from myself, the horrible nights the ghosts haunted me with the truth I couldn't accept.

Before I can go back running to my bedroom with the tail between my legs, where Karin is patiently waiting, my mother decides to open the door making me panic and scream like a little girl.

Mom actually laughs "Sorry sweetie, are you fine?"

I nod and avoid my eyes to hers. She senses my discomfort and asks what's going on, but I say nothing.

I feel the room spinning as I swallow and simply hand her the letter still avoiding her eyes.

I see her ripping the paper carefully, as if she feels it's important. Mom doesn't say a word, her expression is serious and I've never been so scared in my whole life.

I can't hear a sound besides my heart thumping.

I can't move no matter how much I want to take the letter back, burn it and pretend it was never written.

I can see anything but my own bare feet, unable to look at my mom while she reads my testament.

"Naruto…"

I bit my lips hard to force myself to look at my mom feeling tears gathering in my eyes.

She is crying and I feel so sorry. "Mom, I-"

She holds me.

She cries harder and I don't know what to do, to say. I hold her back feeling the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes.

"Naruto, Naruto, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry sunshine." Why mother? Why? "I love you so much Naruto." I hold her tighter, feeling the first tears falling. "I love you, I love you." Soon I'm sobbing.

I can only cry and cry as she holds me and tells me she loves me. _She loves me._

Mom looks at me with a tender smile and wipes the tears from my face "I love you and that will never change, Naru. You are the best son in the whole world and I know that if it weren't for your love, support and care, I would be nothing."

I nod and hold her again. "Thank you, mom. I love you too. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"I won't leave you sunshine. I will never leave you, my child. Mommy won't leave you." She comforts me until the tears cease.

"Thank you mom. Thank you so much."

"Oh sunshine." She runs her fingers through my blond locks. "You've been suffering, haven't you?"

I can't deny.

"I'm so sorry, Naru. I-I should have known, no." she shakes her head. "I knew it somehow, but I pretended to not see it, I'm so sorry, I'm not a good mother for so long." Few tears fall from her eyes.

"That's not true." My voice is raspy. "You are the best mom in the world. And I'm not a kid anymore, I understand it mom."

She kisses my head "I love you sunshine."

xXx

I won't say things magically became better. Mom still works nonstop and sometimes it feels awkward to be around her since she knows about me.

She tries to act cool and ask about my clothes and even if I have a _boyfriend_, but I know she's still sad for a reason. I can understand her and I can only thank her for the support. I sincerely don't know how I would react in her place.

I sigh. Having Karin at school is awful.

She's always meddling with my business with Sasuke, always making excuses for us to be alone so she can spy on us. It's embarrassing.

Sasuke is happy for me but agrees it's awkward having Karin to follow us everywhere. We didn't have time to talk since last week because of my dear cousin and her friends.

Oh yeah, I found out Karin has feelings for that guy, Suigetsu, and my revenge is sweet.

Killing two birds with one stone is harder than I thought it would be and even with Sasuke's help, we can't make those two have one peaceful conversation or stay alone so I and Sasuke can talk on our own. _Talk,_ I just to _talk_ to him damn it! Stop being so pervert, mind!

xXx

"Ah finally! Oh my God, we finally got rid of her!" I thank the heavens exaggeratedly dropping on my knees with my arms open. Few people look at me with weirdness. It's not like it's appropriate for a girl to do that.

I blush and stand up, cleaning the dirt of my skirt.

"Hn." Sasuke sits on the bench under the cherry tree waiting for me to sit beside him as usual. "Naru…"

"What?" Our shoulders are touching and I'm feeling good enough to let my head drop on his shoulder knowing he will smile because of it, my long blond hair falling behind our backs.

Sasuke drops his own head above mine and sighs. "It's Wednesday."

"Yeah. So?" I close my eyes and feel his hands holding mine bringing small shivers to my neck. His big hands are always cold, but they feel so good holding mine.

"You didn't talk to Kiba."

I whine in displeasure. Why does he want to bring Kiba up _now?_ Can't we enjoy the little time we have together? It's been so long we didn't come to the park and now that I'm so happy, he brings Kiba up and makes me feel guilty. "It's not like I can talk to him now."

"I'm just saying." I feel his thumb drawing small circles in my hand. "Besides, I wouldn't let you leave me here alone for nothing."

I smile. "It feels like ages since you saw me here, doesn't it?"

"Hn. I'm happy I did." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it, looking me in the eye, making me blush, making my heart quickens. "You look pretty when you blush, you know." Argh that fucking smirk of his. How someone can look so sexy?

I childishly scowl, but Sasuke already knows my weak spots and start tickling me, making me struggle and chuckle lightly. "Stop it, bastard."

"No." he tickles me more taking my breath away until I run away from him, standing up from the bench and resting my back on the tree.

Sasuke is smiling when he comes closer to me, putting a hand above my head on the tree. My heart is beating faster but not because of the tickles. My eyes are locked to his as he gets closer and closer. My hands go to his shirt, bringing him closer faster until his body is pressed to mine against the cherry tree.

"Can I?" he asks me but I don't give him any answer.

I bite his lower lip and hear with satisfaction the small groan that escapes his mouth. Sasuke kisses me with gentleness, the kind of gentleness that makes me want to tease him. And I do. I bite his lip, grab his hair, smile through our kiss. Smart, he takes the hint and kisses me with more force, one hand holding my hair as the other wraps around my waist. Hm, so good.

We break the kiss and smile, a bit flushed and without breath. He showers me with small kisses making me laugh. He hugs me tightly against himself making me feel so safe, so right.

"I'm so happy." He tells me and I nod. _I'm so happy too._

Sasuke brushes my hair off my eyes "You are still talking to Kiba tomorrow." I pout at him and attempt to protest. "No buts, Naru. You know you miss him." I look at the side thinking about it, knowing that I do miss my friends. He sighs "Don't make this face, moron. Come on, I'll buy you ice-cream."

I smile animatedly "I want strawberry flavor with strawberry syrup and those pink little hearts."

Sasuke rolls his eyes and walks to the guy selling ice-cream.

xXx

I take a shower when I get back home. Karin is still out and mom is working as usual.

Dropping on my bed to text Sasuke, I see the letter I wrote mom on my nightstand.

I smile and reread it.

'_Dear Mom,_

_I'm writing this letter knowing I can't give you now, I'm still not ready, but if you're reading this now means I accepted myself... or that you found it without my knowledge._

_If it's the second, please give me time as I intend to give you._

_Remember when I dressed up with your clothes and wore make-up?_

_Well, I still do it, but now I have my own clothes and make-up. I don't know why I do it, I just know that when I do it, I feel pretty... like you._

_I'm sorry I can't tell you face to face, but it is hard for me to tell what I'm about to tell:_

_Mom, I'm gay._

_First of all, I love you and that will never change. You are the best mother in the whole world and I know that if it weren't for your love, support and care, I wouldn't have survived when dad left. I wouldn't be a good person. I would be nothing without you._

_I know we don't talk about him, but I'm ready now._

_I'm sorry for making him leave you. You don't deserve it, mom. I'm sorry you had to go through bad things because of me. But this is who I am and I can't nor want to change it._

_I'll be waiting for when you're ready to talk about it for anything you want to ask me. _

_It wasn't an easy process and I didn't suddenly decide on that. It took me time and the help of my friend - Sasuke - to accept it. I'm sure of my decision and I can only hope you don't hate me for that, or leave me._

_I don't mind if you can't accept it, but please don't leave me, mom._

_I'm sorry for disappointing you._

_Love._

_Naruto'_

* * *

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Naruto, you _will_ talk to him now."

"But Sasuke…" I whine, pouting childishly as Sasuke drags out of the school after the last period.

He doesn't say anything else as he keeps dragging me to who-knows-where by my hand. I could just shove him off and run, but I know he's right and I know I do need to talk to Kiba.

I can see him waiting for me in a secluded space and I sigh.

Well, it's now or never.

"Won't you stay with me?" I ask Sasuke with begging tone.

He smirks sadistically. "No. You will do it alone, moron."

I scowl. "Bastard." But he only shakes his head and leaves me with a tap on my shoulder.

…

"Hey." I say to Kiba awkwardly, not getting an answer, but trying again louder and clearing my throat. "I said HEY!" Again he says nothing, does nothing, only keeps glaring at the sky. "Oh come on Kiba! Talk back to me, damn it!"

He glances at me and chuckles. He _chuckles!_ Oh come on! Fuck you too, Kiba.

He laughs wholeheartedly. "You suck at being mature."

I frown, crossing my arms over my chest. "As if you're any good, dog-boy."

He chuckles more. "So… throw punches at each other until we're fine?"

I chuckle and punch him in the arm playfully. "Sounds like a plan."

"On three?" he turns around facing me with a defiant look.

"One…" I begin, closing my fists.

"Two…" he says doing the same.

"THREE!" we go at each other like the stupid people we are, punching each other on the face at the same time.

Kiba knees my stomach. I elbow his head. He punches me again. I block. I attempt a kick at his side. He blocks with his forearm. We repeat the movements.

Again and again until we're dripping sweat, blood and panting.

We fall on the floor and try to breathe, my heart in thumping in my ears so I can't hear a thing, but I'm feeling much better.

"I hate when you act like a jerk." He tells me breathless.

"I hate when you call me a fag." I answer as breathless as him.

"I hate when you can't stand a joke." I see him smiling.

"I hate when you cross the line." I smirk at him.

"I hate when you lie to me." His face turns serious and I frown.

"That's the gayest thing you've ever told me. When had I lied to you, asshole?" I ask sitting up, wiping the sweat of my face with my shirt.

"All the time, jerk. I know when you're lying." He sits up as well, looking me in the eye with the most serious expression I've ever seen on him "I know when you force a laugh, when you hate something. I know when you feel lonely and… I know you are actually really gay." He means it.

For a moment I'm left speechless, shocked and worried. My heart rate rises up, my eyes widen and my throat is constricted permitting me only a strangled "How?"

He shrugs, no hint of hatred or worry. "I just know. I know Sasuke is too."

I swallow and look at the floor. "I don't know what to say."

He shrugs again, but gives me a small reassurance smile. "It's fine, man. I don't really care. I love you anyway."

"I-I, have you just confessed to me?" I chuckle lightly arching an eyebrow.

He blushes a bit, flashing me a smug smile "Sounds like it."

_Oh_. I don't know what to say. I feel myself reddening and start thinking of various ways of answering that, none seems good or acceptable. For once I'm totally speechless.

I avoid my eyes to him, feeling a bit uncomfortable to that and probably Kiba notices as he clears his throat awkwardly.

"So… you and Sasuke…" It's not a question, maybe a confirmation, but not a question.

I thank him for breaking the silence but it's still awkward and uncomfortable for… you know. "Yeah… kinda. Eh… sorry."

He shrugs once more. "Don't be." Then he grins at me with mischief like he does every time we are about to do something stupid "Don't make me say more gay stuff."

I laugh, feeling more at ease. "Aw, but I like it. It's my pleasure to see your pride crashed and your cheeks red." I tell him with a small wink.

He rolls his eyes getting a tiny bit redder "You weren't sadistic like that. What has Sasuke been doing to my little innocent Naru?!" he motions for the skies, faking a shocked expression.

I laugh again, hitting him on the arm lightly "You were the one who corrupted me in the first place."

He puts his arm around my shoulders and ruffles my hair in a brotherly way. "Oh yeah, I remember that. Magazines, internet, and I still think I should've convinced you to try on me."

I shove him jokingly, grinning "Fuck you, doggie."

He laughs too "Oh yeah, Naru my boy, I would love to fuck you doggie style." He winks at me.

"KIBA!" I feel myself blushing again. _How can someone say this so casually?_

"You were the one who asked for the gay stuff." He defends himself chuckling, what makes me stick my tongue out at him.

Kiba lies down on the floor motioning for me to do the same. I look at the sky, for once appreciating the lack of people around me, strangely, I don't feel lonely. It's relaxing how we remain in silence just enjoying the wind, almost nostalgic.

A lost memory crosses my mind and I start laughing on my own, making Kiba look weirdly at me. "Remember when we changed the guys' shampoo for hair dye?" I remind him, laughing uncontrollably.

His ace brightens when he remembers it, soon laughing along with me "And they all got pink hair for a month. That was epic! And when Shika hacked the teacher's computer and when he opened it…

"…and it started gay porn." We laugh hard until our stomachs hurt and we're literally rolling on the floor. "Now that I think about it, you were the one who found it; I _should_ have known you were gay." I laugh some more, wiping a tear off my eyes.

"I'm not gay." He declares on the spot wiping laughing tears on his eyes. "Well, maybe I am for you, but that's different. But really I like girls, and it was Hana who gave me that and you really don't want to know why my sis watches gay porn."

I think about it and oh "Not at all." Then what he said hits me and it's quite shocking. "Wow so you are gay for me?" I ask him a bit smugly.

"Yeah. No! Argh, I don't know! I wonder about that… if I like you this way or you're a brother to me. I just know I want to have you by my side." He mumbles and it's funny to see Kiba struggling to talk.

"We were never this gay before. I don't know what to say."

"Yeah. It's all your fault Uzumaki." He smirks and pinches my nose.

"Don't blame your gayness on me, Inuzuka." I slap his hand off my returning the smirk.

"How can I not? You're awesome!" he motions his hands exaggeratedly, then sighs and starts speaking with a lower, serious voice. "You're a great friend, you shine, you punch me when you need to and you don't stop talking to me because of something stupid I said or did. You don't ignore me when I punch you when you are stupid. You understand me. You play pranks on me, _with_ me. And… you're so beautiful goddamn it."

After this declaration, I can only blink.

At my loss of words, Kiba grins but it's hinted with a sadness or disappointment "Yeah _that_ was the gayest thing I ever told you."

"Wow, are you gonna talk about my eyes? My smile?" I say because it's so much easier to joke with this guy.

"You want it?" He arches his eyebrow, almost challenging me, or himself, _almost._

"No."

"Good 'cause I don't think I can stand being any gayer."

"This is happening too fast, you fucker." I punch him again, but keep my hand on his arm this time for a while longer.

He shrugs, giving me a mischievous smile. "Nah, if it were, I would be ravishing you right here right now."

"KIBA!" I feel my whole face in flames.

"But it's true. It's not that sudden." He tells me in a calmer voice, no more joking. I like it how we can go from joking to serious in mere seconds. "You should've seen it coming, I saw it coming, God, Shika saw it coming, even Sasuke saw it coming, you _should_ have seen it coming Naruto." He sighs, hiding his face behind his hands.

I swallow the lump on my throat. "You are always acting like this around me, how was I supposed to know it?"

"You should." I feel bad for not realizing it. You're right Kiba, _I should, but I didn't._

Thinking back, it was pretty obvious. Since that time he "Fuck, you used me you damn mutt!" I accuse him sitting up.

"Huh?"

"The clothes you got from your sister, how you dressed me, you… you… YOU!" I point at him angered.

At least, he has the decency to feel ashamed, rubbing his nose and tinting pink. "And I can't even regret it or say I'm sorry." He sighs, frustrated "Do you have any idea how fucking gorgeous you looked? And yes, I really wanted to pretend for one single day that you were actually my girlfriend! Because no matter what, I know we will _never_ be together like this." His voice shows sadness, defeat.

And I hate it.

I feel myself getting angrier and angrier. I can't believe this asshole. I clutch my fists letting the anger take on me. I see myself on top of him, punching him "You fucking coward!" again and again I throw punches at him, at his face. "You could've told me! No, You _should_ have told me!" I yell clutching on his shirt with gritted teeth. Kiba does nothing. "Fuck you, ten times fuck you Kiba!" I stop breathless, shaking, defeated as well. "I could… we could… if you had told me, we… could have been." I whisper.

We both look pathetically at each other, not sure how to proceed, what to do, what to say. That's a first.

Kiba is the one breaking the gloomy atmosphere, raising his hand to my cheek "You need someone like Sasuke, not like me."

He tells me, but I refuse to believe. I can't compare Sasuke to Kiba. I can't compare Sasuke to anyone and I can't compare Kiba to anyone either. I can't say I would choose Kiba over Sasuke but I do choose Sasuke over Kiba. Howsoever, I can't help but think that before Sasuke…

Kiba caress my cheek with his thumb. "Can I make me one last wish before we close it and move on, blondie?"

I nod, resting my hand above his.

"Can you kiss me?" He pleads with a defiant look, moving his hand to my hair.

Again I nod and slowly lean forward, feeling his hand tugging on my hair bringing me closer and closer to him. His eyes only drag me, so sure and expectant.

Kiba's kiss is really different from Sasuke's. There isn't a single trace of uncertain or fear. His lips are fast, skillful, experienced. His tongue knows its way into my mouth, how to force it without being rough. His hands don't tremble, but grab on me, feel me, hold me. He turns me over quickly, holding on my waist.

I can even feel myself arching towards him, my hands clamping on him. I feel the shivers when he groans into my mouth, submitting me to him. I can almost feel his nails biting my flesh, so desperate, burning my entire skin.

I hate it how it makes me breathless and powerless, _useless_. It reminds me how he's more experienced than me, than Sasuke. Kiba has always been the first at it, he taught me everything from kissing to sex, no, not practicing. He showed me the way and now he's proven it's not only the theory he's good at.

Despite it all, I can only think of Sasuke.

I break the kiss slowly, rolling him off me on his back "Sorry Kiba, but Sasuke…" I say panting.

He's panting too "It's fine, man. It was worth it." He closes his eyes and licks his lips, a bittersweet expression on his face.

"If it makes you feel better, it was one of my best kisses." I tell him honestly, feeling my heart getting back to normal.

"It was meant to be. And it was meant to last forever for me." Again the bittersweet smile, but he chuckles.

"Gay." I grin watching his astounded expression.

I freeze when someone clear their throat and wide-eyed turn over to see who it is. "Are you done?" I swallow dry seeing Sasuke scowling with crossed arms and his arched eyebrow.

I stand up, followed by Kiba. "Yeah, back to being best friends." I mumble a bit embarrassed, a bit unsure, looking at my supposed best friend for answer.

Kiba nods and grins, then looks at Sasuke with _that_ mischievous face "Yep, as long as you keep him, best friends it is."

"Hn" Sasuke answers dryly, barely containing a strong emotion.

When Kiba is leaving, he whispers something to him that makes him shiver and blush. I frown, feeling possessive, feeling I have the right and need to know what he told _my_ Sasuke.

I'm about to ask him when he looks at me with determination, asking for something with his eyes and before I ask him anything, I need…"I need to tell you something…" he nods "I kissed Kiba." I say as fast as possible without being unheard.

I tremble afraid of his reaction, but he lets on nothing. "I saw it." He confesses impartially, making me choke on my own spit.

"I-I…" I stutter, tremble and feel tears gathering on my eyes.

"I'm not letting you go." He reassures me and walks to me, offering me his hand.

I take it, sighing in relief. "Thanks."

Quickly, he pulls me to him by the hand, tugging on my hair with the other, making me gasp and using the opportunity to enter my mouth with his tongue. _The bastard improves faster than expected._ My arms wraps around his neck as his hands slides to my thighs, making me shiver. In a sudden movement he takes me off the ground causing us to break the kiss for an instance as I wrap my legs around his waist. I feel I'm floating.

For the first time, Sasuke seems bold enough to touch me, sliding his hands along my thighs, my back, stopping at my hair. I moan into the kiss, shivering, shuddering, and arching to his touch. This sure feels good, it's hot, it's sexy and it's Sasuke, making it so much better.

I feel my feet on the ground again, eyes closed, holding on this boy I knew for so little time, feeling him holding me back, kissing my shoulder. I smile and whisper to his ear. "Jealous bastard."

I feel him smiling "Oblivious moron" he whispers back.

We break apart and I clear my throat, embarrassed and a bit confused. "So you knew…"

"…About Kiba?" He arches an eyebrow but a tint of pink is still on his pale cheeks. "Yeah, it was quite obvious, the way he looked at you."

"Oh…" Again I blink. _Am I that oblivious? Really? I thought I was a good observant. I'm usually conscious of people's feelings towards me, okay that I think they're all negative and I feel everyone is whispering about me and yeah, sometimes they really are and I already lost the count on how many times I heard a hurtful comment directly at me and…_

"Waaah" Suddenly I'm being shaken drastically. _What the hell?_

"You were spacing out, making funny faces and mumbling to yourself. Care to explain?" He informs me with an inviting yet intimidating aura.

"Eh? Ah! Oh! Sorry." I chuckle rubbing the back of my neck out of habit. "Just you know… thinking. But anyway…" I have a serious question for him. "If you knew about Kiba, why did you let me here alone with him?"

He shrugs, a hint of embarrassment on his features. "You had to solve it on your own."

I grin at his unconscious cuteness. "Aw… aren't you the best boyfriend in the world?!" I hug him.

We both stiffen at the weight of my own words, voiced without a single thought, _again_.

"You do realize we're still in public, right moron?"

I nod, feeling my face in flames. "There's no one around, bastard." I mumble.

"And you do realize you will make up to me for kissing someone else in front of me, right?" The tone on his voice is too smug for my liking. That bastard is too full of himself about it, he deserves a bit punishment, just to make that smirk fall off his lips.

Breaking the hug and looking him in the eye "You do realize you kissed Kiba indirectly, right?"

…

I laugh uncontrollably when realization hits him, making him gauge, wide-eyed, cursing and rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Damn mutt!" he grimaces in over-exaggerated disgust.

I laugh some more at his reaction until. "Hey, what did he tell you before he left?"

He stops mid-gauge and blushes furiously, making me frown and feel weird, not jealous, no, no, no. Sasuke dismisses the question saying it's not my business and quickly changes topic.

"Did Karin tell you about tonight?"

"Yep, she'll be out and I'll be alone at home, talking about it, don't you want to come over?" I smile softly at him. It's been a while Sasuke and I didn't hang out in my bedroom, ever since we came in terms with our relationship, what might be weird, but well, I can't lie and say I don't _want_ him to go there, I _do,_ but wouldn't it be weird?

"…so, what do you think?"

"Huh?"_ Was Sasuke talking at all?_

"You didn't hear a thing, did you?" He sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Of course I did!" I protest loudly. He couldn't have said anything very important, right?

"Ah alright then, it's settle." He smirks at me knowing I have no idea what he's talking about. "I'll meet you at 8?"

"So you're staying over?" My eyes shine to the idea.

Sasuke rolls his eyes and sighs. "_Again_, I can't. I'll hang out with Karin and the guys."

"Oh." Yeah, I'm disappointed.

"You can come over, you know. They won't mind." He reassures me walking me to the station.

"Nah, they are _your_ friends. You guys never have time to hang out just the four of you, just go babe." I wink at him.

"Don't call me babe, _sweetie_." He glares at me ineffectually, kicking a can on the street. "Are you sure? I don't mind you going." He mumbles a bit awkwardly.

"It's fine, Sasu. Go and have your fun. I'm thinking of hanging with Kiba." I smirk at him with a sense of superiority.

He grunts. "You're doing it on purpose, moron."

I laugh "I'm joking, bastard. I'll probably be at home watching Mary Anne."

"Hn."

We walk in silence side by side until we reach my home, sweet home. Sasuke pecks me goodbye and leaves.

~Line Breaker ~

"Naru, are you sure you don't want to go?"

"For the tenth millionth time Karin, yeah, I'm sure. Mom took the night off, I'll stay with her."

Karin pouts, dismissing me for an instant before she drags me to the bathroom and force me to make her make-up, not that I mind. I really like it.

…

"Don't you dare drink, or smoke or use any drugs, little girl. I'll call at ten to pick you up so you better not whine or I'll drag you by your hair. You better behave or you'll regret it, you hear?!" Mom advises/threatens Karin just as Suigetsu shows up to pick her up. "And you, young man. You better take care of her, treat her with respect and like the lady she is." The poor boy only nods at my mother's _sweet_ words.

"Yeah, aunty, we'll behave and I'll be back early and I promise not to cause trouble. Can I go?" I know Karin feels happy when my mom acts like the mother she never had. While for most teens, nagging moms are a hassle, for Karin, it's a privilege.

"Oh of course, sweetie." Mom kisses her forehead, making Karin look like a child. "Have fun!" She waves them off and closes the door. "Now it's just me and my favorite son. What do you want to do, sunshine?"

I smile eager to our mother-son night. "Mom, I want homemade ramen!"

"Hmm, ramen sounds good. Oh, I forgot to say. I found some pictures of you when you were younger. I'm sure you want to see them."

"That's fine for me, as long as you gimme ramen." I grin walking with her to the small kitchen.

"Come on, sunshine, help mommy in the kitchen." I nod and we start preparing my favorite meal, talking and laughing and, of course, making a mess of the kitchen.

…

"Aww, look at you. You were so cute. I guess you were almost a year and you were always talking, actually screaming 'mommy' and 'ball'."

We look into a lot of pictures and I notice the lack of my father in them as I grow up. Mom doesn't talk about him, never did. I wonder if she doesn't do it so she can't _not_ deny my blame on their divorce.

"Hey, what's that?" I get a large blue album and open it. I gasp at what's inside. My parents' wedding album. I turn the pages slowly, amazed by the beauty of the pictures. Mother's dress was simply gorgeous. Everything looked perfect, the church, the dresses, the flowers, the smiles…

"You looked pretty, mom." I say still holding the album

"Thanks Naru." She smiles.

I feel sad when I see it "You looked so happy. You…and dad." I say lowly.

Mom brushes my hair kindly "We were happy, Naru. Your father made me the happiest person in the world." She smiles at some memory I can't see.

"Oh." I feel so guilty. "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "It wasn't your fault Naruto. I've said it many times before and I'll repeat it until you believe me, it _wasn't_ your fault. I know Minato said it, but it's not true." She sighs. "We had our own problems that had nothing to do with you and _that_ made us divorce." She doesn't look happy anymore and the lump on my throat hurts.

"I know, mommy, but I…" I feel some tear gathering in my eyes. I can almost listen to my father saying I'm weak.

"Shh, shh. Don't cry, son. It's fine, it wasn't your fault. I'm so sorry for letting you go through all of that…" I look at her watery eyes. "I thought Minato could see he was wrong. I shouldn't… I shouldn't have let him do all those things to you."

I hug her and nod, unable to disagree.

"Mom?" I ask after a while of her comforting me.

"Yes sunshine?"

"Do you- Do you still love dad?"

Mom thinks hard about it, humming in concentration "I do, Naruto. But I love the man he was, I love the memory he is to me and above all, I love what he gave me, _you_. I love you above everything."

I smile back at her "I love you too."

We spend the rest of the night looking at old photos until Karin calls to pick her up. After that, she joins us and talks nonstop what she doesn't have to, and that is Sasuke.

"Aunty, don't you think Sasuke is the perfect guy in the whole world?" her eyes shine but I see a glint of evilness when she looks at me. Oh no.

My mother chuckles "He sure is a good boy… and really cute, oh if only I was twenty years younger…"

I feel myself blush, unable to look at them though I feel Karin's gaze on my back. "I know, I know. Too bad he swings the other way." She says as casually as she can, _bitch._

Mom gasps "Oh, really?" I close my eyes feeling _her_ gaze on me. "Naruto didn't tell me that."

"Didn't he? I wonder why." My _lovely_ cousin says _sweetly_.

"Do you think he's hiding something from me?"_ Why the hell are you talking about me this way? I'm right here! I can even hear you!_

"Nah, Naru wouldn't do that. Or _would_ he?" I want to kill Karin right now.

"I hope he doesn't hide me anything more. It would make me sad." Mom pouts and if I didn't know better, I would say she knows what she's doing.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty trap! I can't stand this pressure! "ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YOU!" They look at me a bit shocked for my sudden yell, though Karin is trying really hard not to laugh. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "I'll tell you."

They look at me expectantly. "I-I… eh… me and Sasu..ke… hmm, yeah, that's it."

"Sorry sweetie, you and Sasuke what?"

I whimper a bit at my own misery "We are kind of… you know… that thing… da-dating."

I would laugh at my mother's face if I didn't feel like crying. "You… and that boy, Sasuke?"

"Yeah." I nod.

"Oh." Thanks mom, you sure are helpful. "At least you can't get him pregnant." She makes a really bad poker face, chuckling and rubbing the back of her head.

I sigh, listening to Karin laughing until tears gather on her face. It's contagious as she rolls on the floor, laughing and laughing, breaking the somewhat thick atmosphere.

Mother doesn't ask anything about Sasuke. She doesn't seem to approve, but it's not like she's against it, so I'll take it as she's shocked to think anything. Well, at least I told her.

~Line Breaker~

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Oh come on Sasuke. It's not like we could hide it forever, it's just my mom. You didn't care about Karin." I protest lightly.

We are in my bedroom. Karin is in the living watching some movie and mother is out working until late.

"That's different. You should have at least told me you were going to tell her." He's angry, scowling like a grumpy old man.

"I did not know. She pressured me, Karin helped." I whine, feeling guilty. He grunts, sitting on my bed and crossing his arms. "Hey, don't be like that, please." I plead, sitting beside him and holding his hand.

He looks at me. Slowly the scowl fades away until it disappears into a blank face. "It's just… I feel like _I_ need to tell my parents."

I shake my head "You don't have to… unless you want. I'm not pressuring you. I didn't want to tell my mom either, it just happened." I fidget with the skirt I'm wearing, noting absently I have to wash this one later.

Sasuke sighs, dropping his head on my shoulder "Yeah." And that's the apology I'll get. "I guess I'm a little envious of you. I can't gather the courage to tell, but you…" he runs his hand on my sides, on my neck, on my face until it stops on my long hair. "You're beautiful, you know, inside and outside."

I blush, letting him lie me on my bed. It's sweet when our lips touch, when our fingers intertwine. Soon it's over. A sigh.

"You can tell them whenever you feel like telling." I say softly, probably still a bit flushed, holding his hand. "And I'll be by your side…" I kiss his hand. "…as you are by mine."

"Hn." He smiles and leans towards me once more, this time deepening the kiss.

Sometimes I feel Sasuke is afraid to deepen things even further between us. I can't blame him as I too am. I'm fine with first base, but even the second base seems scary to me. That's one more dilemma for us to resolve if we want to last.

XxXxXxXxX

Sasuke's hands are trembling as he holds the phone. I embrace him from behind in support, feeling him stiffening then relaxing, leaning physically and emotionally on me in this important moment. I feel his heart racing and the soft voice answering on the other end. He swallows and holds on me tighter, taking courage to voice surprisingly unshakably.

"Itachi, we need to talk."

TBC.

**Mwahaha. Yeah I needed a cliffhanger for a change. This chapter came faster than I expected and I hope you liked. I don't know when I'll write the next one but you know, the more reviews I get, the faster I write :D**

**Oh yeah, no it's not a triangle, I love love-triangles but not for this story, no. Kiba ends here and I hope you don't hate me for that (both for ending it here or even starting). If you're not a KibaNaru fan I'm sorry for not advising it sooner, it wasn't something I had planned, it just happened, but I would appreciate if you didn't bash it for such a small part of the story.**

**Hm, about Naru's family moment, wasn't it adorable?**

**Please do comment (at any language if you want).**


	9. My confession to you

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual innuendos and sexual situations (don't get too hopeful). Not recommended for all publics.**

Chapter 9 – My confession to you **(Rewritten)**

Sasuke's point of view

I turn off the phone before Itachi can say anything else. Fortunately he doesn't call me back, but texts me saying he's free tomorrow afternoon. _Great, why can't he be free just next month? Maybe he could be busy for the whole year, but no, he's free tomorrow._

"Sasuke." Naruto says my name softly behind me.

"Hm?" I'm a bit off, thinking about what I'll tell my brother.

I feel a kiss on my shoulder and smile "Just… I'm here alright."

I slide my phone back into my pocket and hold his arms around me, turning my face slightly. The angle is hard to kiss, but it's not any less sweet. I know Naruto has to stand on his tiptoe to reach my mouth with his and yeah it hurt my back but it's okay. At least for now, I can stand these moments of affection; _I even initiate them,_ later thinking what's wrong with me.

"Hm, it bothers me how tall you are, bastard." Naruto pouts, biting my shoulder lightly.

_There is nothing wrong with me._

"You are the one who's too short, moron." I wince when he bits me harder, then I tickle him for revenge and kiss him for my pleasure.

Naruto sighs after we break the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist as I play with his blond natural hair. "I hope things go fine with your brother."

"Hn." _I hope so too_.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

For the first time, the stupid elevator's song doesn't bother me, what actually makes me flutter is the ping of the door when it opens. For the first time, I don't get annoyed by waiting outside Itachi's apartment, no, I even think he gets the door too fast.

It's casual as I go in and sit on the living room's couch, getting from the coffee table a cup of tea already waiting for me as always. Itachi sits next to me like every time I come to visit, sipping from his own cup of tea calmly.

There's nothing different from all the times I came here, yet, my foot thumping on the floor accuses my nervousness. If I hadn't learn how to read my brother, I would say he forgot about it, that he doesn't care much about what I have to say, but I do and I can see his anxiety by the glances he gives me, by the way he drinks his tea much faster than usual.

I rest the empty cup back on the coffee table and keep my poker face, waiting. It's rare I initiate a conversation and it won't be this time I will. Howsoever, a part of me wants to talk fast, so fast I can pretend I never said anything and I can go back to being what people expect me to be.

I want to believe Itachi knows already, _he always knows me better than myself_, that he was just waiting for me to say the words and he can laugh it off and touch my forehead with the tip of his fingers. After all, that's Itachi and he's always a step ahead, always with a back plan, that asshole.

"You look troubled, little brother." Told you.

"Hn."

"Is it about that girl?" he smirks arrogantly at me, and if I weren't so worried, I would feel victorious for Itachi being wrong for once, not that he's totally wrong, but let me savor this small victory.

I arch an eyebrow at him "Who told about the _girl?_"

The smirk widens "Mom." I grunt and roll my eyes, _I should have known._ "And you have to tell me when you lie to her about coming here, you know, I _almost_ ruined it."

"If you did, I would know you did it on purpose, Itachi." I smirk, feeling calmer now.

"Hn. So, I thought you wanted advice for dating, but I see I was wrong." He sips on his tea and puts the cup on the table. "I'm impressed now, Sasuke, it's the first time I don't know what's bothering you, so enlighten me."

I interview the fingers of my hands feeling panic rush through me. If Itachi doesn't know, I'm lost. I'm lost for the words, actions, I'm lost for everything.

I hear my brother sighing and look at him. "You know I'll torture you until you start talking right little brother?"

"I know." Why again did I come here?

"Should I start?" he smiles sadistically at me, bringing small goosebumps I suppress.

"I'm not used to have to _tell_ you." I admit fidgeting a little "I was… I was expecting you to know already. I still do and think you're torturing me by pretending you don't." I frown at him.

He chuckles. "Get used to it, little brother. I don't live so nearby anymore." He takes a breath looking me in the eye making me feel childish. "I heard from mom you got a girlfriend, that's something I didn't expect." _Thanks brother. _He smirks. "I expected that, if a miracle happened and you got a girlfriend willingly… I'd be the first to know."

I see Itachi is a bit hurt for that, making me feel guilty. He's always taken care of me when mom and dad couldn't, when I denied and rejected them. "Sorry." I feel my cheeks burning a bit, trying to hide it behind my dark bangs. "It wasn't like I planned it."

"As if you could, Sasuke." I glare as he mocks me. "I was truly surprised when mom told me you were going on a date, I always thought you would end up alone with a grumpy cat."

I punch his arm out of reflex. "Bastard. I'm not that…" it lacks me words.

"What? Antisocial? Grumpy? Awkward? A disaster when it comes to people? A total asshole?" He arches an eyebrow in amusement as I growl in frustration.

"Fuck you."

He smiles darkly "I wonder what kind of girl she is, a brave one for sure, but…"

I throw the cushion into his face so he stops talking, damn it. "Fine I'll tell you. Just stop."

He chuckles and fixes his hair, looking at me expectantly. "I want to hear about her, Sasuke."

"Hn." I feel my face burning, but a proud feeling accompanies it. I talk about Naruto, feeling frustrated and embarrassed the few times Itachi can't keep a smug smile. I tell about his personality and even about our dates, never mentioning his true gender, still afraid of his reaction.

Back in my mind I think it's worse that I didn't tell him sooner, scared I might not be able to in the end. No, I have to. I'm determined to tell him the truth and I will… soon.

My brother has a funny expression, smiling softly, making me feel I did something right. "You are in love, little brother."

"Hn." I can't hide the smile forming on my lips, or the blush on my cheeks. It's weird to talk to Itachi about this, we don't usually talk this much, but I guess it's one more new thing happening to me since I found Naruto.

"This girl must be really special to you." He says absentmindedly creating a soothing silence.

The silence turns thick to me as the words weight. I swallow the lump on my throat and close my eyes tightly. "It's not a girl." I whisper and hope he heard me.

"What?" No lucky. He's alarmed; Itachi is not alarmed, never. Fuck.

"It's… not a girl." I say in panic. "I'm not dating a girl!" Definitely in panic. Pathetic. I end up telling him everything about Naruto, how we met and his secret since I know he's fine with me telling my brother.

I look at him expecting a reaction. "Mm." He nods to himself. "So he was right." He mumbles to himself making me more confused.

"What?!" Great now I lost control over my voice.

He doesn't answer me, but look me seriously. "I'm disappointed in you."

I feel a pang in my chest like it's been ripped open. I feel my lip numb from biting the inside. A bad shiver runs my spine. My eyes hurt from being widened and maybe holding a tear.

Then the devil smirks "You should have told me sooner."

I glare at him, murdering him with my eyes. I growl between gritted teeth "You. Almost. Killed. Me. Here. You. _Fucker._" I can't deny I'm relieved, but my body now suffers from the adrenaline, making my heart beat faster and my hands sweat, _screw you Itachi._

"I'm serious Sasuke. You should have known I would support you."

I don't think it changes anything. I don't think it makes it any easier to hope Itachi will always support me, because in the end, it's always a risk to take to tell the truth. It's even harder to tell someone you love and who loves you about it, to face the fear of reject, the fear of disappointment, the fear itself.

Itachi is always saying he will always support me, be by my side, because we are brothers, but he never tells me anything, never trusts me with anything of his, so why would I? Just because I'm younger? That's not fair.

"Don't talk to me as if I'm little kid." I say seriously. Now is a good time to tell him all the things I want to.

"I'm not treating you as a little kid. If I were, we wouldn't be talking right now." His words annoy me.

"I _hate_ when you do it. You are not _father_, you are my _brother._ I hate it when you want to act like a parent to me." He looks annoyed and a bit surprised by my words, but now it's already said.

"I'm not trying to be a parent to you, Sasuke. I just expected you to trust me and tell me important things." His eyes narrow at me.

I stand up opening my arms. It's the end of my patient. "How can I trust you if _you_ don't trust me?!"

Itachi crosses his arms over his chest. "That is not true."

"Of course it is. You never tell me anything, you never trust me with anything of yours, you just demand things from me, always. _I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you treating me like a child, like I'm undefended and weak. And I'm sick of you pretending to be God, to be so fucking perfect."_ I swallow loudly, or maybe it's the silence that makes it sound so loud, like my unstable breaths.

My brother's arms fall on his sides as he blinks at me with an unreadable expression. He looks like he's thinking it over and over, almost as if he'll admit I'm right, but it won't happen.

"I never said I was perfect." I keep looking at him, unblinking. We stare at each other for long five minutes as if the first to break the eye contact would lose something big. "If you want to know something about me, you just have to ask little brother" he looks stoic.

I smirk "I could say the same thing, brother. Mom didn't tell you about 'the girl' _yesterday_, right?" I lift my eyebrow. "I came here before and you didn't ask me anything." I can't hide my satisfaction on winning against Itachi, especially when he looks like this.

"Smartass." His scowl is priceless. I should win over him more times. New goal for this year: to win an argument over Itachi _(done)_ more times.

I sit on the couch again with a smug look, I _love_ winning too much. "So, do you have anything to tell me?"

"Nothing you should worry." He says as a matter of fact.

"Itachi!"

Then he chuckles proving he was just messing with me. "Can't let you win or it will go to your head, little brother."

"Hn." But I smirk.

Itachi sighs. "But yes, I do have something to tell you and you can never know how much I hate to ask anything from you, but this time, I want your _opinion_."

"And people say _I_ am arrogant." I think aloud, being ignored by my sibling.

"It's about a friend of mine."

"One of those weird guys you hang out with?" Today is a great day and I'm making Itachi angry, it's a fucking great day.

We exchange glares but he doesn't answer my insults. "Do you want to know or not?"

Maybe it's not such a great day. "Yeah sure, but admit they're weird. You guys had a gang and you _named_ it, how lame is that?"

"Akatsuki is a cool name for your information." Ha, I would make a happy dance if I weren't me.

"Sure it is, brother." Sweet, sweet revenge for all my childhood.

"You wanted to be part of it!" He accuses me.

"I was a kid! An idiot, innocent kid!" It's quite childish and I feel a sense of déja vu from when we were younger and mom had to interfere telling us to stop and hug each other. _It was awful._

Itachi must be having the same sensation and as if we could feel, we start laughing at our silly memories. This is our bound.

"What happened with your friend? Who is it, first of all?" I'm curious to know who it's to make Itachi worried. Is it a girl? Maybe, maybe not.

"Do you remember that time I brought a girl home?" he lifts his eyebrow. So it's that girl.

Yeah, I do. Opposite to our parents' beliefs, Itachi sleeps around quite a lot despite his stoic face, but because he never let our folks know, they once questioned him about it saying he was already old enough etc… Then, Itachi brought this girl, whose name I can't recall, home to meet our parents telling it was his girlfriend and that's as far as I know. "What about her?"

"I told you _almost_ everything." Oh great, the only thing I thought I knew about my brother is false, and he wants me to trust him, _hypocrite_. "First... Deidara is a guy, and before you ask me, no we aren't together or ever have been. He is my _friend._"

Then why would he bring a _guy_ home to be his _girlfriend? _"And what's the problem? Do you suddenly have feelings for him?" I smirk at him expecting him to be annoyed.

He shakes his head "That is not it." He says much more serious than I expected. "However, that time I didn't want to introduce a girl to mother and father, she could think I liked her and I don't need delusional stalkers. And because I don't have any presentable female friends, my last hope was him."_ Though I think he's lying because Itachi doesn't explain his actions like this._

"Hn, I'm listening."

Something must be wrong with my eyes because for a second I think Itachi blushed. "He absolutely hates being confused by a girl despite his looks, but he did it for me."

"That's cute." He doesn't even glare at me for my sarcasm.

"Things didn't go as I had planned." He's looking through me at something I can't see.

"I know for someone with divine powers, it may sound weird, but that's what usually happens to us mere mortals, brother." I guess Naruto's sense of humor is rubbing on me. I sigh at my brother's silence "I don't recall anything going wrong at home that day, what happened?"

Itachi falls out of his trance in few seconds "Nothing went wrong during the dinner, I wouldn't let that." He says certain.

"You can't control everything, Itachi." I tell him seriously. I know how competent and smart my brother is, but that doesn't mean he has everything under control.

"I know that now." He nods. "Because if I could, Deidara and I would still be friends." He looks truly troubled by that to a point I almost feel sorry for him.

"You need to tell me whole story." I need to prove I'm not a little kid anymore. I want to help Itachi just as much as he had helped my whole life.

He sighs and nods in agreement. "I met Deidara when we were in Oto. I know that the first time I looked at him, I hated him for no reason and he hated me as well. He annoyed me every day trying to get a reaction from me, trying to make me fight him, until the day I lost my temper." Itachi has that nostalgic aura around him, smirking sadistically. "He thought he had a chance with me. I don't need to say who won." Yes, I have enough scars to try fighting against Itachi. "But then he started following me and before I knew it, I wasn't ignoring him, but talking to him."

"Hn." Suigetsu was the same. First he hated me because I hung out with Karin and then we unexpectedly became something like best friends.

"And when we came back to Konoha, Deidara went to Suna and we lost contact for a year or about." He explains probably trying to buy time for what really happened between them, so I have to force things a bit.

"Then you guys reunited and you asked him to be your girlfriend for one night. Then what?"

He glares at me for my choice of words, but doesn't comment about it. "Something like this. The problem was I knew Deidara is gay, he never lied about it, and it never bothered me, but…"

"Hn. Did he hit on you?" I know how Itachi is when it comes to his friends, so that's the only thing I can imagine happening to make them awkward to the point of not talking anymore.

But he shakes his head making my guess wrong. "I was the on hitting on him that night."

His confession makes me choke on my own spit. What. The. Fuck?

I blink demanding an explanation from him.

"It just happened. After I drove him home, we stayed in his bedroom and he teased me about fooling mom and dad like that, and…" he stops to breathe out. "He really looked like a girl."

"Itachi…" I interrupt his out of character rambling "To the point."

"I'm getting there, Sasuke." In reality, I'm sure he's just nervous, he's human after all. Itachi clears his throat to continue the story as casually as possible "Well, how it began doesn't matter, but what fucked everything up was when we were in his bed." I frown when Itachi licks his lips. Is he that nervous? "It was in the heat of the moment, we had kissed before in dares, no big deal." _How is it no big deal? It took me years to have my first kiss, and it is a big deal for me._ "But things got out of control." He concludes.

"What do you mean?" He flashes me a weird expression, half amused, half disappointed that makes me glare at him. So what if I didn't understand what he meant by things got out of control? What could happen when you're in bed and kissing and _oh. "_You did it?!" I'm sure my mouth is agape, but. "You guys really did it?"

"No!" it's the first time Itachi denies something with such intensity. "We didn't go all the way. We just… fooled around a bit."

I arch an eyebrow at him._ My brother used to be more creative. _"Really, Itachi? Then what? You were confused? Things were happening too fast?" I mock him.

"I know it sounds cliché and a lie, but that's what happened. But that's not the point." He explains more exasperated than I assume he would like to be.

"What's the point?"

"The point is when I saw him… when I saw him _naked_ on the mattress, when I saw he was really male and very far from a girl… I freaked out. I couldn't continue, I felt disgusted, it felt wrong."

"Hn." Maybe because he chose disgusted and wrong, I feel uncomfortable, like I'm the one he's talking about, like I'm doing something wrong, disgusting to my brother. It kills me.

"Sasuke…" he's more composed now. "I didn't mean it that way. Shit, I'm sorry. I don't feel this way about you and I don't feel this way about Deidara. I don't care about it. I never cared about sexuality and I wish I could take back my words."

I nod in understanding. "I can relate to the guy. If I were him I wouldn't talk to you ever again."

Itachi looks pained. "I know."

"What did you tell him when you couldn't?"

He laughs humorlessly "We argued. I told him exactly what I was feeling, that I could never do that to him, that it felt disgusting, that I only went as far as that because he looked like a girl. Yeah I know I was an asshole. I regret everything I said." He rubs his eyes with the tip of his fingers "He punched me hard and yelled at me to get off, that I used him and he didn't wanted to see my face ever again."

"Sounds fair." I love my brother but it doesn't mean he's always right. It just counts when I'm talking to strangers.

"I know and he hasn't talked to me since then. It's been six months already." He breathes out and looks better. I think that just talking it out helps him lift the weigh off his shoulders.

"Tsc" I hit him slightly on the arm angrily. "And just now you tell me, bastard."

He smirks at me. "It's not like I could just knock into your bedroom and tell you I had a fight with a friend because we almost fucked. At least now I know you're not against it."

"Hn." Thanks to my brother's words, I feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment. How can he talk about sex just so easily?

The smirk on his face widens "And talking about it. Have you done it already, little brother?"

"It's not your business." I try to play cool, but I know I have a tint of pink on my face. Damn paleness.

"Oh come on, Sasuke. I'm your brother, you have to tell me so I can give you advice." _Sadistic fucker._ I try to keep quiet, crossing my arms over my chest, but my brother doesn't give up annoying me. "Knowing you, I'm sure you don't even know how two guys do it."

I feel my face in flames, but still try to play cool. "Of course I do. It's not very different from how to do with a girl, just, you know, with a guy."

"Oh, then you wouldn't want me to tell you about it, right." He has that evil red glint in his eyes.

"Right." I can always look it up myself.

Itachi gives up rolling his eyes at my stubbornness. "Anyway, did you consider telling mother and father?" he asks me mu more serious than one second ago.

I bite my lower lip "If it were few years ago, by the time I wasn't in good terms with them I would probably swear to never tell or tell them to provoke a reaction, but now…"

Itachi smiles more softly at me and touches the tips of his fingers to my forehead. "You really grew up, didn't you, little brother."

I smile back at him for the compliment. It means a lot to me. "I told you I'm not a kid anymore."

He takes his hand off me "Hn. What did you decide?" He asks me knowing I know he's talking about our parents.

I sigh "I don't know what to do. I have no idea how they will react and I don't want to disappoint them more than I already did. That's why…" I swallow the lump in my throat "That's why I need your help, brother."

"Sasuke, you know you don't need to worry about it. Mother and father will always love you, I'm sure."

"Yes, but I don't know. I want to tell them, but not now." I explain. "I need to take it slowly."

Itachi nods in understatement "If you need anything, just ask."

"The same to you." I smirk "About the guy, you should try talking to him, solve things honestly. It's not everyone who can get your hints of apology, it took me years, you know."

He presses his lips together in a thin line and I know he has taken my words seriously. "I don't think things can go back to how they were before."

"They can improve." I smile thinking how Naruto made my life a tiny bit better.

"I don't want this kind of improvement, Sasuke. I'm straight and he's a guy."

I roll my eyes at him, smirking when an idea hits me. "If that's the only problem you should think it over. If you ever thought you'd fall for him if he was a girl, don't you think you're already in deep shit, brother?"

Itachi 'tsk' me, shaking his head. "Must be good to be young and naïve, little brother" he mutters more to himself than to me, but I ignore him in order to let him think. I'm not naïve and Itachi is not old. Well, mentally, he is, but that's not the point.

"I'm going now, Itachi. Karin is leaving tonight and I…"

"…need to see your little boyfriend." He completes with those superior glances and sadistic smirk, making me growl in frustration for blushing.

I chose to ignore him, standing up and going for the door, with Itachi following me soon after.

"You should come by more often, Sasuke." Itachi tells me touching my forehead like always.

"Hn. You are the one who should go home more. Mom has been complaining." I turn around after opening the front door.

"Maybe next time, little brother. Take care."

"You too, I'm off."

"Oh Sasuke." I tune back to face my brother. "I know you're in love, but use your mind and wait until you're absolutely sure to go all the way."

"Like I needed to listen that from you of all people." I roll my eyes. "I'm not a whore like you."

"That's why I'm saying this." He just smirks and waves me off.

When I'm walking to the elevator, a guy wearing a hood walks past me, catching my attention by the fact he stops in front of Itachi's apartment. I keep staring at the figure whose face I can't see as he seems to be contemplating something. In the end, I shrug off and go home. I need a shower before I can go to Naruto's. Tomorrow I'll call Itachi to know if something happened.

XxXxXxX

"Hey. Come in." Naruto greets me with his usual beautiful grin, stepping to the side so I can go into his house.

"Excuse me." I mutter under my breath, looking around the apparently quiet house. "Are you alone?" I frown.

"Yeah, my mom drove Karin to the airport and then she was going to work until late." Naruto explains scratching the back of his head.

"Hn. Karin passed by my house to say good bye but I thought she would still be here." The look on Naruto's features whispers jealously. "Not that I'm complaining." I tell him lower, wrapping my arms around him, bringing his body closer.

My boyfriend kisses me lightly, wrapping his arms around my neck. After a while of light kissing, he tugs at my hair to get my attention. "Let's go to my bedroom, I want to show you a thing."

I smirk, following him without a second thought "Alright then."

He locks the door and makes me sit beside him on bed. "So, how was at your brother?"

"Fine."

He glares at me childishly, making me want to kiss him more. I'm so pathetic for falling in love with him to the point I feel in a soap opera or a silly movie.

"He was fine with it. And he probably wants to meet you."

Naruto manages to gasp and choke on his own spit as his eyes widen "WHAT?!"

I shrug off "You don't have to worry. He'll tease you a bit and mess with your head but he's fine with us together, so don't take it seriously. My brother is an idiot sometimes." I explain, caressing his cheek.

He pouts cutely "I guess it's fair. It's weird that your brother knows."

"Hn. A bit." It's really weird and insane and it still makes me nervous, but I don't want to worry Naruto, especially when he looks a bit troubled with something. "What's with the face, Naru?"

He's thought for a while before he decided to tell me the root of his worries "I think my mom is… against it."

Of course I freak out! But I can't show him that. "Why do you think so, moron? Did she say something?"

He sighs and shakes his head "No, but… I can't explain with words, her looks are…" he looks to the side with worry on his face "It's just that… she's been asking about you, but she's always cold to it, not like my mom. It really worries me."

"Hn" I can't deny my stomach is eating itself in nervousness, but I don't how to react to it.

"Let's not worry about it. At least she's not _openly_ against it." Naruto offers a small smile in reassurance. "I don't know what I would do if she forbade me from seeing you."

I look upon him with an arched eyebrow "She'll approve us, she just needs time. Don't waste the few neurons you have on it. Besides, look at me, who wouldn't approve me?"

Naruto chuckles and shoves me into the bed, crawling over me "You're such a bastard, you know."

I grab his hair and bring his face closer to mine until our lips brush "And you're such a moron." I whisper into his mouths before we kiss deeply.

I believe Naruto and I are in that honeymoon phase I've heard about. It sounded so lame, who knew I'd experience it. Thoughts like I can't get enough of him, that I always want to be with him flow into my mind as we kiss until we're breathless.

Naruto rolls to my side, resting his head on my chest and sighing deeply. I hold his body close to mine and feel a tug on my lips almost making me smile if I didn't think it makes me look so stupid.

Too late.

"What did you want to show me?" I whisper looking as his head accompanies the movement of my chest.

He looks at me and grins "Oh yeah." He stands up, going to his wardrobe and getting a new box. I know it's new cause all his boxes are white and this one is bright red.

Curious, I sit up on his bed. "What's it?"

Naruto opens the box carefully and grin at me, a glint of something flashing in his blue eyes "I bought a new dress."

I smirk at him "Show me."

He gets the box and runs to the bathroom, making me a bit disappointed to not see him undressing. Even when he's clumsy and really far from a sexy strip tease, I like to see his bare skin, his body exposed to my eyes.

I like to imagine his naked body underneath mine, wondering how his skin feels under my touch, how he would react. I confess I've been jerking off to him a lot lately. I'm still a guy and I have needs.

It's easy to fantasize about Naruto. Every night before I sleep, I imagine him spread on my bed, so beautiful, waiting for me, asking for me. Sometimes he's male, sometimes female, it doesn't matter since it's Naruto and only him can get this reaction from me.

I imagine it's his hand around my member, that it's his body interlaced to mine at night, grinding, moaning, feeling. It's hot, hotter than any other time I jerked off before.

When we're together, it's not like I don't get hard. It's the opposite. I get hard every time we're kissing, touching and even though I can feel Naruto's hard too through his pants or skirt, we never go any further than that.

I wonder if we should. I wonder if Naruto would let me touch him, if he would touch me more. But I never know what to do, what to expect. What if I do something wrong? What if he doesn't like it? What if it makes him realize he's straight? What if he decides I'm not good enough for him? I know Naruto has more experience than me and I know nothing.

I'm the guy who couldn't get a kiss right in my first try because these matters never interested me before. I'm the guy who jerked off eventually out of habit, but that was that, just physical release due to my hormones. I never thought anything of that.

Then Naruto arrives in my life, bringing all sort of emotions, bringing me wet dreams and fantasies I never thought I would think, want, need. He's the reason I take cold showers in the morning, wake up in the middle of night with just the reminiscence of a moaning, sexy moron.

He's the reason that right now I have to adjust my tight boxers in an attempt to make it a bit less uncomfortable. Tsk.

"Sasuke?" Naruto calls out, making my head shot up to look at him.

And I thought he looked sexy on my wet dreams. Fuck.

The blush on his face just makes my pants tighter. "How do I look?"

If my agape mouth is not answer enough, the saliva falling from it should be.

He looks gorgeous.

The make-up in his eyes was done to give him a fierce look along with the three scars on each cheek. His fake long blond hair is tied in a high ponytail, with only few locks falling around his face. His mouth is screaming to be kissed… by me, of course.

The navy blue dress he's wearing is not like the ones he usually wears, with frilly skirts and flowers that gives him that adorable look I also love, but this dress, tight and short on his legs and broader on his shoulders makes him look slender and feminine.

"You look so fucking gorgeous." I tell him looking him in the eye, unable to hold a small growl in my throat.

With my reassurance, Naruto gives the sexiest look I've ever seen on his features, his lips curling into a provocative smirk. He slowly walks to my motionless body in his delicate high heels.

I notice his legs are shaved and the skirt is so tight I can see a bulge in the front. It just turns me on. He wants to kill me like this.

I swallow when he sits next to me looking right into my eyes, drawing me closer and closer, but I can't, I'm petrified. I want to do so many things to him that I can't.

I remember the words Kiba whispered to me few days ago. _"I can tell you all things Naruto likes to do in bed, pretty boy. You just have to ask."_ I regret a little bit not asking him, but my pride is still too big.

After a while, Naruto gives up and sighs. "I guess I want things to go faster than it should."

It breaks my trance, making me hold his hand and shake my head "That's not it. I want to…"

"I'm not talking about holding hands or kissing." He's serious.

"I know." I do want to do all kind of things to him, but I… "I just… I don't know how." I whisper feeling my face in flames because of my shameful confession.

Naruto blinks and tilts his head to the side "Huh?"

It's so adorable it makes me chuckle. "You are hopeless."

He fumes, crossing his arms. "It's not my fault you make me frustrated. I've been holding back for a while, you know. You should know I want to go further than just kissing bastard."

I arch an eyebrow "Now it's my fault?"

"Yes."

"You are the one with experience. If you want it that much, just say. I don't know what to do. It's my first time with someone, you moron." I say loud exasperated.

"Wait." Naruto looks calmer, looking at me with mischief, moody moron. "You seriously don't know anything?"

I glare at him "I told you I've never dated anyone before. I never cared about this aspect of my life, or lack of thereof."

As to prove Naruto is moody, he grins at me and leans forward, kissing me lightly. "Bastard, I don't care about it, just…" his voice is lower, more seductive than one second ago.

I cut him with a kiss. "Take the lead." I command, letting myself go in his hands. I know our roles seem reversed but that's not true. Naruto is being submissive to me even when he's leading. He's controlling me to do as he pleases and I can only follow, unable to do anything else.

"I thought you didn't want it." He whispers shoving into the bed and crawling on top of me.

"How could I not want you, moron?" I let Naruto lead my hands on his body, feeling the soft skin under the dress. "You have no idea how many times…" I hiss when Naruto nibbles my ear. "…how many times I dreamed of it." My hands grip on his hips. "I'm just not used to it."

Naruto kisses my cheek and sits up on my lap "I'm not used to it too, bastard." He tells me softly, making me realize the same hesitation I have on his blue eyes.

"I don't want to force you. I don't want to do anything you're not ready." I tell him serious, but maybe I'm the one who needs this reassurance.

Naruto smiles in appreciation. "Don't treat me like a virgin girl. I'm the one leading." He smirks and winks in the end, but "I don't think I can go further than second base." He confesses, running his hand inside my shirt, slowly, looking at me asking permission to continue.

I nod, helping him take off my shirt, feeling the weight of taking the next step as my heart beats faster. His small hands dance on my chest, drawing lines his blue eyes follow intently. He smiles sexily when I shiver because of his hands touching my bare skin.

"Naruto." I whisper his name calling him for a kiss. He answers me leaning forward, kissing me intensely, biting my lower lip ripping a growl from my mouth. It's just a kiss, but it's so intense.

I feel Naruto guiding my slightly trembling hands to his thighs. My touch grows more secure as Naruto becomes more responsive, trembling under my hands. I feel his body, his thighs, his ass, his back.

I tug at the end of his dress, breaking the kiss to look into clouded blue eyes. "Can I?" I whisper huskily.

He nods and sits up, taking off the dress on my lap, making me lick my lips to the beauty he shows me. I want to touch it, his chest, his stomach, the bulge in his orange boxers. To see his girlish look with his male body doesn't bother me one bit, the combination is beautiful.

As if sensing my desire, Naruto grabs my hand and guides it through his body, never breaking the eye contact. I feel his chest, his abs, his navel and the cloth of his boxers. I breathe in, swallowing my nervousness in order to nod along with Naruto in a silent agreement that we both want it.

I slide my hand inside his boxers, feeling his hard member in my hands for the first time. Naruto lets out a small moan to the touch making me want to hear more, do more. I sit up to kiss him, moving my hand along his cock just like I do to myself. It's the only way I know how to do it but it seems Naruto enjoys it, holding on my hair with force, making me shiver as we kiss.

"Do it harder." He whispers into my mouth and I can only obey earning an appreciative moan in return. I feel my pants too tight. It's uncomfortable and the position we're in doesn't help, so I clumsily lie him down, crawling above his panting form, unzipping my own pants.

Naruto doesn't lose time to touch me. He's not uncertain like I am, he knows what to do and he proves me by touching me in a way it makes me almost come right now. It's so good I'm losing my mind.

"Naruto." I moan, trying to get my pant off my legs.

"Sasuke… Don't stop." He reminds me sensually, guiding my hand back to his cock.

I look at his member and groan. It's different the mine, darker, surrounded by trimmed blonde pubic hair. My eyes trace his whole body, taking in everything he exposed to me. "You're so beautiful." I look him in the eye, noticing the flush of his face, his hair sprawled on the mattress. "So beautiful" I repeat over and over, feeling him getting harder and harder in my hand.

"Ah, Sasuke." He brings me in for another kiss, sloppily, openmouthed, breathless kiss. "Faster." He commands me softly into my ear.

His hand dance on my cock, the right rhythm, the right pressure, the right pleasure. He's making me insane.

"I can't…" I moan louder when his other hand finds my balls, playing with it, making me lose my mind. "I can't hold… any longer."

He chuckles amused, working his hands faster, his mouth find my neck. He nibbles on it, licks it, makes me at his mercy. It's so good.

The fact my boxers are halfway on my thighs doesn't bother me. Nor does the fact we're both sweaty, smelling of semen, breathing hard into each other's mouths. It's making my head dizzy.

Naruto rolls me over so he's on top, kissing me, nibbling on my neck, on my ear, whispering my name, whispering what he wants me to do to him.

"Naruto… I'm gonna…" I jerk him faster, harder, wanting him to feel what I'm feeling.

"Me too." He locks his eyes to mine, his long hair attaching to his sweaty face and back. He puts on a sexy smile as he licks his lips before he orders me. "Cum for me, Sasuke."

And I do.

Closing my eyes tightly and biting my lip, I lose focus for few seconds.

When my breath returns to me, my mind is dizzy but I know Naruto hasn't come yet, so I keep my hand occupied with his member, as the other travel through his body, feeling him, my teeth bites the skin of his neck, his shoulder as he messes my hair.

He grips my scalp almost painfully as he comes into my hand with a strangle groan.

I listen to him panting by my shoulder, his weight dropped on me, making it hard to breathe. I swallow feeling my body tired, my head mushy and dizzy. "That was fucking good." I whisper, panting.

Naruto agrees with a mumble, rolling to the side to show me one of his best grins. "I must be a mess." He chuckles, touching his hair.

"You are a beautiful mess." I tell him pecking his lips.

He gets some Kleenex in his nightstand, cleaning him up and tossing some for me to clean myself up as well. I stay in bed, knowing my legs feel like jelly, as Naruto goes to his bathroom to take a shower compelling me to watch his naked body all the way.

…

After we're clean and clothed, we lie in bed and talk about useless things until it's late and I have to go home.

In the end, Naruto and I spend the night texting each other, talking about embarrassing things I wouldn't be able to talk in person, like fetishes and sex. I find out new things about him and he finds out new things about me.

When the dizziness and happy sensation finally ends, I growl in frustration, feeling stupid for my behavior.

Before I close my eyes 10 in the morning, I smile and ask myself what has Naruto Uzumaki done to me?

I'm too happy.

**AN: Review please/ por favor/ per favore/ sil vous plait/ bitte schön/ whatever**

**I think it's funny Sasuke got mad at Itachi, it's so him. :D**

**It's hard to write Itachi-Sasuke moments because it's very OOC no matter how you portray it. In the manga, Sasuke changes to hating Itachi to loving him so their relationship wasn't very well developed as siblings. I'm trying to consider this on my writing, how they would interact had they develop their bound without the tragedy that happened to them.**

**I made a poll and it'll be open until whenever I want. Anyway, I would really appreciate if you voted on there. It's about Itachi and Deidara and what kind of relationship should they have on the story.**


	10. The despair in my eyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto**

**The story is based on the manga Udagawachou de Mattete yo by Hideyoshico ©**

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual situations and inappropriate language. Not recommended for all publics.**

Chapter 10 – The despair in my eyes

Sasuke's point of view

It's Saturday evening, a week after my talk to my brother. Naruto and I are lying in his bed watching some Disney movie I'm not particularly paying attention. I'm a bit tired from this week considering the whole stress and guilty from being in the presence of my parents and feel like I'm lying to them, especially when my mother asks about my _girlfriend_. I went as far as convincing Naruto to dress up and take a picture for me so I could show them and now the guilty from both sides are eating me up.

I also started going to gym because it's healthy, it has nothing to do with Naruto always saying I'm too thin, it's healthy. And now my body is all sore, _awesome_. I close my eyes feeling all muscles a bit numb from exercising and finally lying on bed, Naruto's scent helps too, his warmth next to me…

I blink to Naruto lightly shaking me awake.

"Hey… you still there?" He asks me tilting his head to the side as he's half sat on bed.

"Hn." I rub my eyes from sleep. "I guess I'm sleepy."

Naruto smiles, his eyes shining with mischief, this fact being accentuated by the TV's only illumination. "I know a way to keep you awake." He whispers moving his hand to my stomach, making me shiver.

It's slow, but intense. I do nothing but breathe slowly as he slowly pulls my shirt up, exposing my chest. Naruto kisses just above my left hip causing a small gasp to leave my lips as shivers run up my spine.

Our eyes meet as he crawls over me, his hands are still drawing patterns on my stomach and chest. He looks down as his fingers find my nipple making me shudder, making Naruto smile cockily at me, his tongue moistening his lips.

I sit up to take off my shirt, my hands soon going to Naruto's blond hair. I bring our lips together, closing my eyes as we kiss, feeling his hands around my bare body. I tug his lower lip with my teeth, smirking when Naruto moans. We break the kiss so I take off his own shirt, quickly feeling the warmth from his body.

I like to feel him up; his skin is always so warm, so hot, and so different from my cold one. I like to feel the shivers on his body as my nails scratch his back, as my teeth bite his neck carefully.

I lie back on bed, bringing him with me, kissing, feeling, closer and closer. My hands move to his ass causing Naruto to let a hoarse moan that brings butterflies to my stomach. I feel his hardness through his pants and I know he can feel mine as well. We grind together, moaning, scratching, locking eyes.

I stop and roll him to the side, ignoring the quizzical look he gives. I walk to the end of bed and crawl into it, Naruto still frowning at me in doubt "What are you-"

"Sh, I wanna try it." I tell him softly, asking him to come over and kneel up. "Now turn around." I tell him with my hands on his waist. Naruto still frowns at me and hesitantly complies, turning his back to me so I can embrace him from behind.

Slowly I kiss his nape, his back, running my hands on his stomach and chest, feeling him less and less tense. I grip on his hair, pulling his face to the side so I can kiss his lips. My other hand moves south on his body, feeling him shudder to the teasing contact until my fingers find his trouser, soon unbuttoning his pants and pulling down the zipper.

Naruto moans as my fingers touch his member through his boxers. Impatient, he grabs my hand and puts it inside the cloth, making me feel him better, wrapping my hand on him and chuckling at his ear.

I breathe in his ear, feeling hotter with his cock in my hand, and I gulp down my nervousness to press my body closer to his. Naruto groans louder when he feels my member against his ass, my hands jerking him off. I love it

"Can you feel it?" I whisper in his ear, grinding against his body.

"Yes." He answers huskily.

"Do you like it?" I nibble at his ear, groaning to the friction in my pants.

"Yeah." Naruto moans out loud, grabbing on my hair to crush our lips together, moving his hips, increasing the friction.

I use everything I have to pleasure him: I feel his body, jerk him off, bite his neck, kiss his back, press my body to his. We're both sweaty and hot due to the movements.

His moans get louder and hoarser as he gets closer and closer to his ecstasy. "Fuck! Sasuke…"

I startle when he pushes me off, rolling me over and pinning me on bed. He's a little desperate when he tries to open my pants, but he does and the look on his face, oh shit.

It hurts a bit when his teeth knock on mine but the pain is too quickly forgotten as Naruto wraps his hand around my cock, his own member against mine. It feels too good.

I groan in his mouth, my nails biting on his flesh, marking him, hoping to make him as dizzy as I feel with pleasure. We kiss sloppily, breathing through our mouths. We wrap our hands around our members, feeling the hardness and the wetness, the warmth, the pleasure, the scent, the taste in each other's mouth. We feel everything.

It's sudden, but strong when we reach climax at the same time.

…

Naruto drops his whole body on me once again, but I don't push him away though it's a little hard to breath. I run my hand on his sweaty nape and hair, feeling really tired now.

"Sasuke." He mumbles on my chest.

"Hn?"

"Wanna shower." Naruto complains, not really moving out of me.

"You are a big boy already. I'm sure it's not a difficult task even for you, moron." I tease him earning a small bite on my shoulder.

"Bastard." He bites my neck then, nuzzling his nose on my jaw. "Hmm, I was thinking you could join me, you definitely need one now."

True, I was covered in cum and sweaty, but "It's not like you smell like flowers, _honey."_

"Good that you agree, _sweetie_." And then he nuzzles on my nose, kissing my lips. "C'mon Sasuke, I wanna shower together." He whines and pouts, looking at me with big blue eyes.

I simply roll my eyes, pretending I'm not really affected "Whatever moron." And I get up, pulling him to myself so we can walk to his bathroom.

…

"God, we're disgusting." Naruto snorts looking at the mirror. "Look at us."

I roll my eyes at the faces Naruto makes in front of the mirror as I take off my pants and my boxers, opening the water as the moron keeps talking to himself.

"… and then the coach said I was doing great again since I had fallen a bit behind for a while, but now I'm better than ever! Hey, Sasuke…" I hear him opening the stall and getting inside. "…do you think you can go to one of my games? Maybe next weekend?"

I open my eyes to see Naruto actually fidgeting, what's quite cute considering he's naked and his stomach is still covered in white substance. I smirk "I'll think about it.", but of course I'm going. I know how much it is important to him.

"Really?!" his eyes shine and being the moron he is, he simply hugs me tightly. "Thank you, Sasuke!"

I feel my face getting hotter and I can always blame the hot water falling on us, but "Eh, yeah. Now shower, Naruto."

Don't take me wrong, I'd love to do anything sexual in the shower, the possibilities are great, but I'm really tired and I know Naruto is just as tired, if not more. So in the end, in a silent agreement, we take a quick shower with just teasing touches here and there.

…

"Hey, are you staying over?" Naruto asks me drying his hair with a towel as I put my extra clean underwear because… you know.

"No, Itachi is visiting and I promised my mother we would all have dinner together."

He's busy putting on a white t-shirt and orange sweatpants, so he doesn't look at me. "Oh, then you're going already?"

"Hn." He knows it means yes, and I wish I could stay and just snuggle to him, but… Damn, I'm trying to stop these cheesy thoughts. I sigh buttoning and zipping my jeans.

Naruto wraps his arms around my neck bringing me close to him, so I automatically hold his waist "You're an asshole, you know." I arch an eyebrow at him, 'Why the hell I am an asshole?' "Using me like this." He whines overdramatically. "Is that what you think of me? That you can come here, use my body and then go home?" He makes faces of drama and suffer and disappointment.

I roll my eyes but chuckle nonetheless "But I have to say you have a _really _nice body." I slide my hands to cup his ass, making him gasp and drop his head on my shoulder, in an attempt to hide what I'm sure is a blush coloring his face.

"Pervert bastard." He mumbles and then looks up at me, still a little pinkish. "You should say I'm more than that." I feel his hands on my hair.

I peck his lips "You have a pretty cute face as well." He glares at me pouting. "Your idiocy is quite charming too." I chuckle when he nibbles my shoulder.

"Asshole." He whispers before he kisses me once again.

I know I'm supposed to be leaving right now, that my father will be mad if I'm late, especially when Itachi is home, but I can't stop. And there's another reason I should go home right now, it's getting late and by this time…

"Naruto, I'm home!"

Oh fuck!

I try to cut the kiss, but Naruto doesn't let me, quickly pressing his lips to mine again. "Just let her, she won't come up here."

The simple idea of his mom coming up here and seeing me, shirtless, with my hands on his son's ass, kissing him, is… how can Naruto be so calm about it?!

"Naruto?"

I panic to hear Kushina's voice closer shoving Naruto off. She must be right beside the door and where the hell is my shirt?!

Ah I found it!

A knock on the door. "Sweetie, can I come in?"

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

"Sure, mom. Welcome home."

Noooooooooooooooooo!

"Hey honey, how was your day? Oh, hello Sasuke." The redhead woman asks Naruto as she opens the door and sees me.

Naruto glances at me and his eyes widen, and suddenly he's hugging his mom and turning her around so she has her back to me. 'Your shirt is inside out.' He mouths at me, making me look at it and panic again, running to his bathroom and slamming the door without thinking.

"Oh, is Sasuke fine?" I hear Kushina asking.

"Nah…" Naruto laughs awkwardly and I can picture him scratching the back of his head. "It's probably something he ate." Oh thank you, you moron. That was a brilliant excuse. Why not to say, 'oh he has a fucking diarrhea!'

"Do you think he wants some medicine or something? I have…"

I open the door with the most dignity I can have in this situation, cleaning my throat and forcing a polite smile. "Hello, Mrs. Uzumaki, I'm sorry for that."

"Nah, it's fine and you can call me Kushina or Aunty, no need such formality." It's a bit funny to see how Naruto's personality mimics his mother's.

I simply nod and keep watching the two Uzumaki talking on and on and on in short time. "Oh, is Sasuke staying for dinner?" Kushina asks Naruto and then looks at me, waiting for my answer.

I feel a little blush creeping out my face "I'm sorry Mrs. Uzu- eh, Kushina, but I have to decline as I promised my mother to have dinner at home, and I must go as well. She must be waiting for me, so… eh, I'm sorry for the bother and thank you for having me in your house." I recite all kind of formal speech I remember my mom lecturing me in my childhood years, earning a muffled laugh from Naruto.

"Oh, I see." She nods in understanding and I internally sigh in relief, getting my backpack and leaving the room, muttering a quiet bye until… "But Sasuke…" I want to cry when she calls my name again and I have to answer with a polite 'yes?' "It's a bit late and dark, it's dangerous. Don't you think it's better I give you a ride, it's not a problem at all."

I try to deny, I really try, but this woman's insistence and stubbornness rivals mine and Naruto's together! And when I see, I'm in the front seat of her car, with Naruto waving us goodbye as he stayed to make dinner.

The whole way is tense, with the only conversations is me telling her the directions and eventually answering some of her questions about school, my family and my aspirations for the future.(?)

"It's right there." I point at my house as she nods and parks the car. "Thank you for the ride, Kushina, sorry for the bother, eh, thank you." I open the door, but…

"It's okay… Sasuke, I know it's rudeness, but do you think I could meet your mother? I really want to meet her." She says softly, almost in a plea.

I feel the blood draining from my face as a lump is formed in my throat. _What do I do?_ I can't simply deny it and I can't lie to her telling my mom is busy or something, so I'm left speechless, letting all the panic show in my face.

It's then Kushina sighs and I look at her apologetically. "They don't know, right?" It's not accusatory, just an observation, but I can't help but feel guilty, so I simply confirm it with my head.

"It's okay, dear. I suppose it's not easy." She looks solely at me and I can only nod. "But, as a mother, I must say you should tell them. I don't want to pressure you or anything, but for what you told me, I'm sure your mom _will _understand and it'll only make it good for both of you." She touches my hand and gives me what I recognize as a motherly look. "And if anything happen, you can talk to me."

I swallow the lump in my throat, but still can't find my voice, so I nod and offer a small smile in apology and gratitude, slowly leaving the car and waving at her as she drives away.

…

"I'm home."

"Welcome home, dear. I saw you talking to someone in a car, who was it?" My mom greets me and quickly asks in a curious tone.

"A friend's mother. She gave me a ride here because it's late." I explain her still a bit down, but trying to not make her see through me.

"Hm, why didn't you invite her over, Sasuke?! That was rude, you know. Oh God, I didn't educate you like this." She scolds me lightly, with a hand on her hip and small glare on his eyes.

"She was in a hurry, mom. I'm sorry." I explain and for some mysterious reason, she sighs and smiles.

"It's fine. Are you hungry? The dinner is almost ready." She turns and walks to the kitchen, but…

"Mom?"

She turns around "Yes honey?"

I walk to her and take a deep breath. How long has it been since the last time I did it? "I love you, mom." I know she knows, but I also know how good it is to hear it once in a while and being so guilty and what Kushina just told me made me think just how amazing my mom is…

She looks surprise and then she smiles brightly, standing on her tiptoe to kiss my forehead. "I love you too, son." She hugs me, placing my head to her chest like when I was a kid. Listening to her heartbeat is so soothing. It makes me forget everything I'm worrying for, makes me feel everything is going to be fine, that I'm safe.

My mom sighs "What happened, Sasuke? Is there something you want to tell me?"

There is, but "Nothing happened." I can't tell you, mom, I'm sorry.

"I'll pretend to believe you, but if you want to talk, I'll be here to listen, honey." She says and she looks at me with a small smile. "Now, let's have dinner that I bet you're hungry. Can you call your brother and your father? They're upstairs, oh dear God, that old man should be helping me! [...]"

I smile and yell for my father and Itachi, automatically earning a hard glare from my mother. 'If it was to yell, I could do that.' Her eyes accused me.

…

Dinner is as normal as it always has been. My dad bragging about Itachi's achievement, Itachi trying to say I'm not _that_ bad, my mom telling I should clean my room, Itachi should come over more often and my dad should go to the doctor, because apparently 'the old man was too stubborn to, and wanted to make her a widow too soon', her words, not mine.

And then when I think everything is going well…

"Say Sasuke, what about your girlfriend?" My dad decides to ask.

"What about her?" By the corner of my eyes, I can see Itachi smirking, and kick his leg under the table so he doesn't do anything stupid.

"I met her." Fuck, too late. Thank you, Itachi, what a great brother you are. "She's quite a cute, blond hair, blue eyes. I'm impressed, little brother." Okay fine, where is the fucking camera? When do I wake up? I can't even deny it because I know it would make things worse. First, my dad would never believe _me_ over Itachi; and second, my _demon_ of brother would certainly find a way to worsen things for me.

"Thanks." I don't want to talk about it. Next subject, please. Why am I having the family's attention now all of a sudden?

"Why don't you invite her over for dinner, honey?" I choke on air at my mother's suggestion, one I _can't_ simply deny.

"Hn. She's busy with baseball." It's not really a lie except for the _she-_part.

"You mean softball." Itachi has to meddle, "correcting" me.

"Same thing." I glare at him, earning his infamous devious smirk. And I'm screwed.

"I'm sure _she_ can find a time to come here. Besides, what's wrong with mother and father meeting _her_? Are you ashamed, Sasuke?" Itachi throws his trump card. Shit.

"Your brother is right, Sasuke." And now my father. Why can't he go back to bragging about Itachi like usual? "Or you don't want us to meet her?" The authority behind his words prevents me from saying anything.

"No, of course not." It's not really this. But they can't meet her. I don't want them to meet her before I tell them the truth. It's not fair for them and it's not fair for Naruto.

"Then, I don't see a problem." Yes, dad, you _definitely_ don't see the problem.

"What is it, Sasuke? You look like you want to say something. Is there something troubling you, little brother?" Itachi is smiling like every time he executes a plan to end with a bit of my life. The last time he convinced mother and father to not let me go to one of my favorite punk bands' concert because it was _oh so dangerous._

'What the hell are you doing?!' I mouth at him, but he ignores, pretending he didn't see my desperate plea.

"Well, if you have something to say, go ahead son. What is it? Is it about the girl?" No dad, I mean, yes, maybe, but… I can't say it. Itachi I swear revenge!

My mom gasps "Oh, don't tell me she's pregnant."

"WHAT?! No, of course not, mother! That's not it!" Oh my God, this is wrong on so many levels. What is my mom thinking?

She breathes in relief "Then what it is, dear? You can tell us _anything._"

'You can tell us anything.' That's probably the biggest lie parents tell their kids. It's more like 'You can tell us anything… _since _we think it's appropriate and agree with you. If not, sorry.'

I see Itachi struggling to not laugh out loud, which I despise extremely. How is having fun at my suffering? It's not funny! It's not a fucking joke we're talking about. This is fucking serious and it's… argh, it's killing me here.

I bury my face into my hands and sigh. Why is this happening _now?_

"Sasuke?" My mom calls me worried. "Are you fine, honey?"

I nod, unable to look at them. I count to three, then to ten, and then attempt to count to one million. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…

"Sasuke, what are you hiding from us?" My father asks more urgent, with that 'you better tell us now' tone.

I breathe and raise my head. "Do you _really_ want to know?" So my hands are trembling.

I have all their attention to me, to a point it makes me uncomfortable "Of course we do." My mom says letting a bit of worry melt with her soft tone.

"Fine." I look at my hands. "Promise to not get mad at me?" It never works, I know, but…

"Sasuke, what have you done?" My father promptly accuses me. "Are you smoking? Are you on drugs?"

"What?! NO! Of course not. Dad, this is ridiculous." What's wrong with them? I sigh. "Just promise me, please."

I look at him and he unwillingly nods his head and so does my mom. Itachi can't even hide his fucking smile.

"Okay." I didn't have any idea it was so hard. "Mom, dad…" I look to one to other watching their expecting faces and then. "I'm gay."

Silence.

I haven't been slapped, punched or screamed at, so it's going fine.

"You're WHAT?"

Said too early.

"I'm gay, dad." It's easier the second time and I don't break the eye contact with my father.

"Oh fucking shit." He curses, looking at me with wide eyes. "You… you're gay." I nod. "Holy fucking shit." By his side, my mom is silent, in shock while Itachi is having the time of his life, grinning like mad "Really, I expected one day to hear it from Itachi, but you…" Itachi's smile falls instantly at father's mumblings.

"Why _me_?" My brother protests. It's my turn to smile.

"Oh please son, all those hair products you buy, the nail polish, you never brought a girl home." Itachi can't deny it and if he tells them about all the fooling around he does, his image of perfect boy will be crashed.

"You met my girlfriend." His voice is calm, if not a bit defiant.

"She was rather manly." I feel my smile widens, oh dad, you have no idea how right you are.

Itachi just looks at him perplexed. "Well, I'm not and this is not about me. It's about Sasuke."

It's my turn to feel my smile falling instantly. My father sighs and looks like he's in deep thought. "Sasuke, go to your bedroom, Itachi, you too. Me and your mother need to discuss it."

He can't be serious. "Serious? No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Sasuke…" His tone is strict but I refuse to listen to the silent threat. This is about me.

"I'm _not_ going. You promised not to be mad at me."

He sighs and touches the crook of his nose. "I'm not mad at you, Sasuke." His voice holds anger.

"Yes, you are." I accuse him, feeling angry myself, disappointed, _sad_ for their reaction. "I should've known you wouldn't accept it." It's normally about this point my mother interferes, but… "Mom! Mom?"

When I look at her, she just shakes her head and looks down, disappointment written all over her face. I feel the tears behind my eyes, but refuse to let them fall.

Instead, my hands turn into fists by my sides. "So that's it, eh?" I force a laugh, but even to me it sounds wrong. "I thought I could trust you. I thought I…" I stand up abruptly, turning around ready to go away.

"Sasuke, where do you think you're going?" My father says emotionlessly.

Are you fucking serious? This ends my patient, my rationality, my… "To hell! It's the place you fucking want me to go!" I run for the stairs.

"SASUKE! COME BACK HERE _NOW!_"

I don't, but I hear the footsteps going after me. I feel my father's hand on my arm, keeping me from going upstairs. I look at him with fury, unafraid. "What are you gonna do? Slap me?! Punch me?! Then fucking do it!" I scream, trying to free my arm from his grip.

He pulls me to the living room; the only thing I see is the front door. "Hah? Kicking me out? You must be feeling great, don't you, dad?" He doesn't say anything until I start screaming to let go, how awful he is, how much they hate me, how happy he must be for finally having a reason to throw me out.

He grips both of my arms and looks me dead in the eye "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I can't deny the fear I feel. He's breathing hard, his eyes nervous. "Shut the fuck up, Sasuke." I do nothing. "I wanted to talk to you, but now I want you to go to your bedroom and cool your head. We're not kicking you out, we're not punching or beating you up. So stop your little fit and start acting like an adult if you want to be treated like one. Go to your bedroom, NOW!"

I run to my bedroom and slam the door behind me, locking it and falling on my bed. Today turned out to be the worst. I still feel the anger in my veins, having to take deep breaths to prevent to break something, anything and everything I see. No, I will _not _do it, I've changed.

After what feels like hours, but still not enough to calm myself down enough, I hear a knock on my door.

"Sasuke?" It's Itachi. "Open your door."

I don't want to talk. "Go away, Itachi." My voice is just loud enough he can listen.

"Sasuke, open the door. We need to talk." He tries the knob, obviously failing to open the door.

"I don't _want_ to talk." I never did in the beginning.

"Sasuke, you're overreacting."

I grit my teeth "Guess what? It's your fucking fault for that! You forced me into telling them! You… I trusted you!" I wasn't ready to tell them, I needed more time and now…

"I thought it was for the best, Sasuke."

Tsch. "It wasn't! It's all your fault for meddling in_ my_ business! I'll _never _trust you again with _anything!"_

He doesn't answer and then I hear his footstep turning away until I can't hear them anymore. I close my eyes and I suppose I fall asleep because when I open them again, after a mere second for me, I can hear voices just outside my bedroom.

"Sasuke?" Now it's my dad. "Are you calmer?" I am and I think he cooled down as well, his voice is much softer now.

I unlock my door and open it, facing both of my parents with guilty. It's true I threw a fit unnecessarily. They hadn't said anything about kicking me out, hating me, beating me up, it was just my assumptions.

"I'm sorry." I tell them, head down.

It's my mother who touches my cheek, making me face them "We're sorry too, son. We just… didn't expect that. We need a little bit of time."

I nod my head. "I understand."

"We're not mad at you or anything, dear. We love you, okay?" she assures me, caressing my hair.

"It's fine, mom." I think it's over, that I'll just go to bed and let them think for how long they need, only…

"It's not we didn't think of this possibility." My father confesses, motioning for me to open the door further so he and mom enter my bedroom.

"Then, why?" I sit on my bed and they sit around me. "Why was such a shock if you _knew_?"

"We didn't really _know_, Sasuke." My dad continues as my mom holds my hands in reassurance. "Some years ago, me and your mother talked about it, relating you and Itachi. That time we came to the conclusion we would never be grandparents." Before I can question him, he continues. "As I had said, I thought Itachi would be the one to come out as gay and we thought you were asexual or late bloomer, but still as the years went by and your interest for anyone never showed up, we thought you were asexual and you know, we were fine with that and we were fine if Itachi turned out to be gay."

I still don't understand.

My mother continues where my father stopped "Then you told us you had a girlfriend, and everything changed. We were so happy for you, Sasuke." It's impossible to measure my guilty. "It just never crossed our minds you were lying to us to hide your sexuality. We never thought you'd lie to us about it, sweetie." I understand now. "You even showed us a picture of a girl, really, I know it's silly but I already could picture blue-eyed little ravens calling for granny." She laughs and I feel myself getting red in the face. That's so embarrassing and brings so many implications.

"Mom, I…" I don't even know what to say.

"About it, son…" My father interrupts. "Who is the girl?" Oh damn. When I think things are getting better. "She's your friend, I suppose. Were you planning to use her to deceive us?" he frowns at me.

It had indeed crossed my mind, but I had dismissed those thoughts quickly. I have no more energy to keep this up "Father, mother, there's something else I need to tell you."

They nod, encouraging me to continue.

"About the girl, eh, she really _is_ my girlfriend." I see the doubts on their faces. "Actually, _she_ is not a _girl_, and yes, she's a guy so it makes her my bo-boyfriend instead." I keep on talking before they can say anything. I don't want to listen. "He's a really nice guy, if only a bit stupid, but that's beside the point. And, the truth is the woman that brought me over is his mom, so yeah, she knows about us and is kind of fine with it, and I'm really sorry for having kept you from this and lied to you. I was… I was afraid of your reaction."

"I see." My father's reaction is much better than I anticipated after all the previous drama. "At least this guy seems to like you enough to dress up as a girl for you."

Okay, so he got it wrong. "Not really, I mean, I guess he likes me, but what I want to say… He already dressed as a girl at times when I met him, so…" I feel a sudden panic while stating it. "Please dad, mom, don't hate him. Don't say it's wrong or disgusting or anything bad. I swear it's not a kind of perversion, it's just… a hobby. His father left him because of that, so I can't let him go through something like this again, please, just try to understand."

I can tell he's having a hard time to control himself. My mom, otherwise, is being more supportive, saying she understands and whoever makes me happy and safe, she approves. My father doesn't voice any thought of his about it.

"We better go to bed now, dear." Mother says to father, who agrees. "Itachi is sleeping over tonight. I think you two should talk tomorrow, he looked really hurt with what you said, Sasuke." I want to protest, telling it's his fault, but just agree with a small nod.

"Thank you, mom, dad."

My father nods "Good night, son."

"Good night dear, sleep tight. We love you no matter what." Mother kisses my forehead, making me smile if only a little.

"Night. Love you too."

They close the door leaving me alone with my thoughts. It's still a long way to go, for me, for Naruto, for our families. It's like Naruto said, things won't miraculously turn fine, we need to build it, we need time. We still need to do so many for us as a couple, for ourselves as individuals, for those we care. But tonight I sleep without guilty eating me, my head has many thoughts but none concerns my lies, my worries about being accepted.

Step by step, we run the world.

**AN: First of all, I'm really sorry for my long absence. I've been really busy with college and stuff and now I'm looking for a job because I need money. And then my heart was broken just now. It's been about a month or two I met this guy and at first I thought something was going on, but not, and then I'm upset 'cause he got a girlfriend last week and I was just delusional. But it has nothing to do with you guys so yeah I'm more or less back to writing. And I wrote a new plot but I'll just update it when I have at least half of the story completed**

**Ok, weird/funny/useless fact. So I had a really weird dream when I went back to sleep this very morning. For some reason, I dreamed I was holding a child, a little girl about 5 or 6 years old, and my parents were there with me and then I remember I was lecturing the girl about weed like she was a teenager, but I still could hold her in my arms and my parents didn't approve of my speech because 'it wasn't severe enough'. And then I don't remember anything else about the dream, but I wonder what the hell it means, because c'mon it was damn weird!**

**~Review to feed my ego please ;) **

**It was a damn long chapter, few words won't kill you :(**


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